The Jusgona
by Odeveca
Summary: REWRITTEN. (Bellamy/OC) AU Universe. Jusgona. In Azgeda, it means Blood Warrior. On the Ark, Nia Vega has a hard time understanding why she finds Bellamy irresistible? Cadet Bellamy Blake was a good guy, even better a good person, and she was trying not to notice it, especially when they join the 100 on Earth.
1. Chapter 1

**THANK YOU FOR CLICKING ON THIS!**

 **Rewrite, same story of Nia Vega, _different take._ DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, and if you use my Nia Vega or my other OCs, please reference this fanfic.**

 **WORD OF WARNING: THIS IS RATED M. Mature audience only.**

 **400+ words, each chapter, some are shorter or longer than others,  
**

 **Without further adieu, I give you,**

 **The Jusgona.**

* * *

 _You want the truth?_

Fine.

I'll give it to you.

My name is Nia Vega, and whatever anyone tells you,

 _I am innocent._

Five months ago, my safe little life on the Ark imploded.

The same way the earth was swarmed in nuclear war only 96 years ago, which became known as the darkest day in the history of mankind, yes, life on earth ended, unsustainable, untouchable, a big blue reminder of how we fucked ourselves.

The old people say the lucky ones died in the war years ago… and now the unlucky ones live in space.

So now what is left of humankind lives in a massive space station named the Ark, a haven for human life and a prison in all but words. I am one of those space passengers. I lived among the strict regiment of life without abundant resources and zero toleration for crime. I carried out those laws more than once by being a Cadet of the Ark's Guard force.

There was once order in my life. Stability.

My world of morning sprints, Cadet practice, friendly rough housing, meaningless lunch chatter, three hearty meals, daily showers, and an arrogant ass lover that awaited me when I came home. That was the life I had. Nights of passion and relaxation. The human in me had accepted that I was going to die old, restless, and forgotten in space, that is... _until my world imploded,_

my lover was torn to shreds,

my Cadet friends turned on me,

setting me up with damning evidence, and with it came with a swarm of armed guards descending upon me,

 _what the hell was I supposed to do?_

I fought back, not much to do with so little hallways, and no real weapons to use.

What was left of me was sentenced to Float...

but first I was Cadet Nia Vega,

 _and that is where my story begins..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to my Beta, JC.**

* * *

His thumb digs into my stomach,

his fingers clutch my lower back,

and he pushes me further into the tangling sheets of the bed.

Our tongues clash together in a vicious dance and I let him dominate as he swept his way through my mouth. I had never been kissed this way, and it was intensely erotic while still being slightly sad, only because I knew I was going to have to give up this entire experience shortly.

"Are you sure about this," he grumbles between our lips.

"It's just sex." I repeat our mantra out loud. His breath is fresh and clean, like mint.

As I start to whimper I feel a calm come over me, I feel the bed shift as Bellamy climbed between my legs. He held my hands above in a vice grip that kind of hurt at the same time, "your mine," he kisses my neck and sucks, "say it."

"I'm yours," I panted, my breaths coming faster.

"Good girl," I got a nip from his teeth.

A pair of combat boots fall over distracting me, the dull hum of the Ark drones in my ears, my heart pounding when people start talking just outside the front door, "you have to be more quiet."

"you be quiet," he says right back, nipping my nose, and I am paranoid listening to someone laughing outside, thankfully walking a different way, we both are tempting the three fates spinning our lives for their sick amusement, tempting someone hearing us, catching us like this, entwined, me holding his shoulders, him thrusting, two voices panting a sinful song, and like self-made messengers they would spread our truth everywhere.

I whimper, staring up at his dark hooded eyes, he is looking at me, I never thought he would take the time to.

A euphoric grin spreads across his face, and I can't help mine.

I feel so full, sinking into the bed below him, he is everywhere. So much intimate than the good fuck he tempted me with.

I know it's not though, I am not supposed to be fucking will be back any minute, but he leans over again and starts moving faster, craving the release that we both needed, "What the hell are you doing to me?" He rested his head on my shoulder as he continued to move above me in fluid movements.

I held onto his hair, like a lifeline, it feels powerful, it made me loose track of time, my whole body aching to get closer to him, as he thrust freely in and out of me, ecstasy pouring through every pore in my body. It feels like he wants me to hurt like hell tomorrow. I can barely keep my eyes open as I feel it building inside me, not feeling embarrassed that he is turning me into a wild crazed animal.

I moan, though not too loudly, my hand cups my mouth to hold back the really loud one, focused on his pace of grunts, quicker slaps of his thrust. He moans louder than I ever did, _will anyone hear us?_

As I come, I only say his name,

"Bellamy!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Praise be the Creators of the 100**

* * *

When we finish, the sex drive cooling, the words leave my traitor's lips, "This is the last time."

He doesn't say anything to that, getting his shirt, pulling it over his head.

His sex hair is an eyesore.

I move to fix it, glad he let's me do just that, I am still worried someone will notice our absence, that I smell more like him, that he smells more like me, hell he even has a bit of my lip gloss on his lips, I rub it off, "I mean it this time, okay. We can't do this anymore."

I said this the last time, and see where that brought us.

"I know," he says pulling up his pants at the side of the bed, still warm from our lovemaking.

"I mean it Bellamy."

"I heard you," he says a bit too sharply.

"Good," I face away from him slipping on the last of my Cadet gear on, tying the shoes of combat boots, my Cadet uniform is immaculate, I never let it get any less, and when we returned to our posts, no one would be the wiser, "make sure to take everything with you, don't leave anything."

"I won't."

"Bellamy," he looks up, still putting on his own combat boots, _what was I going to say?_

My lapse frustrates us both, he grunts, "What?"

"Thanks," I say pitifully, walking out the room, flushing to my neck, embarrassed out my ass, _what the hell was I thanking him for?_

 _Did it really matter?_

It's the same routine.

I don't mention it to him, and he won't either, all sneaking, all lies, and all just for a quick thrill.

I make myself swallow the rest.

I leave my room, spotting Kelvin coming this way, my stomach drops.

"Kelvin! I was looking everywhere for you-" I distract him before he gets too close, "let's go get something to eat, I am starving-"

"Nia sweetheart," the affectionate name sends disgust all over my body, I turn away from his kiss.

"What?"

"My breath smells," I tell him conspicuously.

He doesn't catch on, "Oh okay, I was looking for you too," he says my name so unlike the way my secret lover does, with such sweet trust, "I need something from the closet first before we go-"

"Wait," I panic, my dominating kiss silences any refusal, Bellamy gets out the room.

Turns to us,

Freezing at my idiotic display of laying it hot and heavy on the boyfriend.

If Bellamy wasn't smirking so big,

I would think I saw a hint of fury in his eyes, as if what happened between Kelvin and I was his buisness.

I kiss my boyfriend harder, he pushes me off, "Wow, slow down Nia!"

"Let's get out of here Kelvin," I lead him away to the cafeteria, glad he never turned to see Bellamy slowly escape behind us.

Kelvin puts his huge arm over my shoulder, he stinks more than I do, "how did I get so lucky? Do I get lucky later on," he leans over to rub his head against mine, I find it annoying.

"You still have to get me something to eat," I hear myself say, my heart beating faster, "then we will see."

"You got a deal."

"Get your arm off me," I say before we enter the cafeteria, getting our seats, hiding my shaking hands, while an oblivious Kelvin gets the food. I pretend to enjoy our conversation about his new employees in the kitchen, about how he is so happy that he is with someone that understands how much of a douche his father Major Walden can be.

"Kelvin."

"Yeah babe."

I feel like a bitch, "Shut-up."

 _When did I become this person?_


	4. Chapter 4

**I think we can all agree, Bob Morley is one fine looking man.**

* * *

When Bellamy and I met we hit it off really well.

He was fresh meat for the Cadet Academy,

and I was biting my dead nails already a year into my training.

"Bellamy!"

"Hey man!"

I noticed his laugh, could pick it up from the chatter of Cadets.

His quips about the lazy ass Guards won him easy admiration, some were even funny.

I just chose to ignore him.

I lost myself in the surrounding area, my senses filled with teenage and young adult soldiers, exercising, sparring, combating one another under the almighty eyes of the superiors, retired Guards that had already put their hours in. I got lost in my partners' sharply executed defensive fight against Cadet Thrace. I knew Paul was getting good, but I had no idea he had this type of energy in him. I was almost impressed.

"You want to jump in?" A smooth voice whispered to me.

I jumped and spun around to face him, dark brown eyes and a crooked smile on his face.

"You scared the crap out of me," I spoke softly, running my hands through my curly ponytail, smoothing it out.

"Sorry, I was calling your name for about a minute," he chuckled nervously.

"Oh, I guess... I didn't hear you," I replied awkwardly, not really sure why he would approach me, we were in different teams, on different levels, mine way above his, _obviously._

"You look different today," he noticed my new uniform.

"I was promoted."

"Nice," he egged me, "for what?"

"For minding my own buisness," for some reason I blushed, he just wouldn't let up from looking it a me, it unnerved me how easily I let him in.

"You aren't a people person, are you?," if that wasn't painfully obvious, he smirks, and it feels like someone smacking me with a cold rag, "Do you need a tutor, maybe I can help you out sometime?" His voice filled with innuendo, and that just made him slimier in my eyes.

"Is that a pick up line?" I do not even hide my disgust.

"What would you do if I said yes?" He ran his fingers through his soft brown locks, trying to smooth his out too.

That is when I noticed that all this felt too calculated. Every move he made felt like it had been practiced and done over a thousand times. He was trying to pick me up like every other girl he met. Not that I would ever tell him, but it was flattering and the same time I was disgusted with his overconfidence, and to think this was all he needed to do for girls to roll over and be infatuated to the point of no return.

"I would say I am not just some chick that would suck your dick for being a jackass." My bold statement made the conversation fall into a deeper awkwardness.

Thankfully he didn't run crying to the superiors, "I have been nothing but nice to you," his lips twitch back into that small smirk. He obviously liked my reaction a little too much.

That infuriates me, my emotions must be plainly written on my face, because his smirk grows to epic proportions, I gnash my teeth, "your Bellamy Blake right?"

"yeah?"

"Stay away from me."

He did.

For the first weeks we focused on playing the part of all together glorified bodyguards and bullies of the Arks.

While Bellamy stayed in my line of vision, playing the role of a well-adjusted Cadet, staying clear of the female Cadets, and portraying a classier aura than a bunch of the buzz-cut, old world, army wannabes the Academy was shooting out.

He showed up on time, did his job, and went home like everyone else, but he was more.

"I have been nothing but nice to you," he repeated one night, when we were the last ones on the sparring mat, _very alone._

"Maybe a little too nice," I was dead tired, and knew that he had been itching to come up and get me off balance.

"Isn't that what girls want?"

I knew he was just playing me, " _What do you think I am?"_

"I don't know," he leaned back on his heels at the door, the one I had to get by, "I am still trying to figure you out. You have this Ice Queen persona, but when you finally let loose on the mat, well," he shrugged, "it's kind of hot."

"I would prefer you stop doing whatever it is you are doing," I told him seriously done with his attempts on hitting on me.

"Are you... angry with me?"

"Immensely," if that was not already obvious.

"They say anger is a sign of true passion," where the hell was he getting this from, "we could have a good time Nia."

"Are you that arrogant that you think I would what.. _. fuck you_? I don't even know you."

"That is how these things work," he shook his head, as if I was the one in the wrong, "Okay, just let me get this out there, I would like to have a nice good fuck before you get it in your mind that your too good for me. Let's not miss out on an opportunity like this, we both might come to regret it."

"Are you serious? Is this how you get girls, by telling them they would... _regret it?"_

"Actually no, they would have already said yes by now," his eyes furrow, "you are incredibly frustrating."

"You're right," I tell him, "I am too good for you," that night I walked away with my dignity, but the following weeks were unbearable.

"thanks Bellamy, you're the best."

"Hey man, thanks, I owe you one."

"you're a really good friend Bellamy."

"Oh Bellamy, he's got everyone's back."

Cadet Bellamy Blake, without a single contrary thought, never left a man behind in the drills, stayed later to help the newest runt, became the most annoying superior's pet there ever had been, and I should know, I was one. If he wasn't there before, he was now. He played the saint, the best friend, and all around good guy, not to mention that he would run back home to check in on his beyond depressed mother.

He was there playing the white knight.

Refreshing. Sweet. Irresistible.

 _Could I blame myself?_

The incredibly sexualized fantasy that I made of him in my mind, rerunning our conversations that changed into porn scenes instead of the reality that I had rejected him more than twice. It became harder when I began thinking of us, and how much his offer was becoming much more agreeable with each kind-hearted smile he gave our fellow violence and heartless prone Cadets.

He was single, I was not.

He had a carefree attitude, and I had a stick up my ass half the time.

He was available, always in reach, and I could be the farthest thing from easy,

my reputation for kicking his ass during training was legendary,

and even then I would not give him the chance for a civil conversation.

Bellamy was a good guy, even better a good person,

and I was not even going to try.


	5. Chapter 5

**I honestly have always been a BellClarke fan, but this is the second best thing ;)**

* * *

Uniformed Cadets, _socializing._

A graduation ceremony for the the newest batch of Guards was not something the Ark was fond of doing every year,

they complained it took up too much supplies, made rationing for the next month that much harder,

but here we were,

and here I was,

drunk off my ass.

"Nia," Paul is upset, of course he would be, "your drunk."

I shush him.

Paranoid for eavesdroppers now more than ever, "I am leaving in five minutes," like that will make me any less of a criminal. On the Ark it was forbidden to be drunk, because it was illegal to even drink alcohol. Maybe I should not have drunk so much with Kelvin and his buddies in the kitchen, but now I honestly am trying to ride the high, ignore judgy looks.

The post-formality party of the graduation ceremony is a nice distraction. People chattering like a bees nest, swaying to the old world music, just beats and drops instead of a voice singing, the sounds from the speakers are like some jet-rocket getting thrown around in space, and here I am,

sitting at the fringes of the party, with the most stuck up, privileged, and insecure bunch of Cadets, all Paul's friends, which makes them mine in extension, going over next weeks sparring matches, and pretending like it was a chore to have fun, that were were wasting our time away doing nothing that would actually help us become better Cadets.

That was the first time it started.

The feeling that I could be doing something, anything, other than the dull life I was living in now.

Deliverance came in the shape of a very familiar young man, with two glasses of carbonated drink.

Bellamy whispered in my ear because the music was too loud,

my mind already drunk with the excitement that he chose now to come over to me, to push against my very weak wall between us, I found it funny, "I don't want to go anywhere with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe," I giggle for some reason.

"She doesn't want to go anywhere with you Blake," Paul says for me, I am sipping Bellamy's drinks he brought me, watching them like this is not my fault for playing with Bellamy's feelings. Giving him sex eyes from across the room the whole night.

"I think she can speak for her self Slater."

I get up, "no fighting," I giggle again, getting up in my flashy and very tight fitting dress, "we are having fun tonight, right Bellamy," I tell him, I can feel his eyes on my ass from behind, I hope he takes a good long look because tomorrow he never was going to see it.

"You don't want to go with him," Paul repeats, but it is more for me.

I didn't. But I did want another carbonated drink, and maybe Bellamy could frisk me up on the dance floor. And Paul and Becca, my dating friends told me to stay with them, keep ignoring his suggestions.

"Where is Kelvin? Isn't he supposed to be with you," of course Bellamy would notice my ever busy boyfriend, my friends would look over it, but he knew exactly where to get me.

"He had to work," is my lame excuse.

"I heard you weren't talking to him," Bellamy asks about my latest fight with Kelvin, he gives me a crooked grin that makes my panties go damp, his eyes went straight to my overly modest covered breasts, despite the form fitting dress, up to my rather bare neck chilled with how close he seemed to get in the dark of the room, making me forget that Paul's friends are glaring daggers at my show.

I can almost feel his hands along with his unashamed gaze, and that is when I let him lead me out.

He could help me forget.

I said goodbye to all Paul's friends, "Have fun sourpusses!"

I certainly was going to.

"Be careful, you are making enemies Nia," is Bellamy's half cautious reply, his hand is too low for decency's sake, and before I can give him a retort, I hit into the wall on the way out, I was acting so clumsy, the damn alcohol getting to me.

"Ow."

"Let me help you," Bellamy's hand found mind, he made sure I made it safely to my room.

Kelvin was not there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to my Beta.**

* * *

It was getting later than I thought.

Really you couldn't tell time on the Ark, bright twinkling galaxies were ever shining through the scattered windows of the outer rim hallways, silent worlds that we could only speculate contained life, but that could not be the farthest thing from my mind.

"I am drunk Bellamy," I whisper, like it's a secret.

"I know," he lifts an eyebrow, "I wonder how you got away with that."

"Everyone loves me," I say it like it has always been true, it always will be if I do everything a good Cadet is supposed to do, "the Council and the Guard were in love with my father, and now that I am untouchable on the sparring mat," I swallowed the saliva building in my thirty mouth, "it makes them feel powerful, like I am their secret weapon or some shit like that," I laugh, because it is easier to do that than believe that I will be used for something pretty and dangerous than given the freedom that only came with shooting your brains out.

"There is nothing secret about it," Bellamy lets me lean against him, as we make it down some more familiar hallways, I grumble something, and I can hear him laughing, all of it, is really blurry when I am almost tripping over my feet.

"You're a good guy Bellamy Blake," and then I know I am really drunk. I would have to be to have told him exactly what I was thinking.

"Sure, whatever you say," he chuckles, finding it funny.

"You don't believe me," I grin, "you think you are bad for trying to find some fun before we die on this hunk of junk."

"Yeah," he agrees, "your really drunk Nia."

"Come on Bellamy," I shake my head, "I don't blame you, I am actually impressed, and I honestly don't know why you'd want to be in the Guard... you should join the Council one day," now I am talking out of my ass, but honestly he would be so fucken delicious in one of those Council uniforms, make all the female population cream their pants, "set these arrogant and racists privilege wannabes in their place."

"But you are part of the privileged Nia?"

"Exactly, now you know it," I let my eyes roam him, like he had done to me.

His muscles underneath his uniform looked as if someone had taken a chisel and carved the valleys and dips. In my drunk stupor I would finally admit that he was toned, cut, soft and lean. Little specks of yellow were flecked in his brown eyes, a faint scatter of freckles on his nose and kissable high cheekbones, making it so much sexier.

I yawned, playing with my keys, avoiding my the power of my lustful thoughts.

"I wonder which key is the right one? I wonder," honestly, I was just wanting to take my sweet time, keep him watching over me, making sure I was fine, and at least having a good time, at least not being ignored, at least not being forgotten. I could stay here, with him watching over me forever. The cold hallways were not so when he had his head dipped near mine.

Bellamy grabbed my key to put it in, opening the door for me, "here let me help you with that."

"thank you good Ser," I chuckled, and slipped into my room, slipping right into the bed, lying down.

I wanted to sleep, but not really.

Our eyes met from across the room, he waiting patiently for my dismissal, and I knew I was screwed. I wanted him more than any human being on this hunk of junk, the look mirrored back at me said he must feel the same way. The urge to lung toward him was almost asphyxiating.

"It's comfortable here," I say, tempting him with a smile, leaning into the sheets, "you can stay if you like."

His laugh dims to a mute tone, sweet dark clouds my senses, and next thing I know,

the bed is dipping,

and he was waking me up.

.

.

.

"You need to find Kelvin, he should know your here," and that makes him better than me, he knows the right thing to do.

I know he did not utter those words easily, having a girl willing and drunk to boot. It was a perfect time for him to capitalize, and I was having a hard time understanding why he didn't take me there and then. I should be terrified, the thought of him defiling me, the thought of him getting to know me in the most intimate way a guy could, but it doesn't. Something about Bellamy's deliberating gaze makes me want to make the choice easier for him.

And I am so tempted.

I felt his hands take mine and try to pull me up, "you are dead weight, Nia," he mutters my name, and it feels like sin.

He tries it again, and loses his footing, landing hard on me, and that is when things get serious.

It is quiet,

the space between our mouths,

Our faces too close for comfort.

Uncomfortable.

Intimate.

Our breathing mixing.

I can taste him, wonder if he can taste this too.

I can feel my heart racing through my rib-cage, daring me.

I let my hand move under his thin shirt, his warm skin recoils from my cold fingers, feeling for it, his heart is pounding.

I look at Bellamy, and he finally looks at me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to my Beta.**

* * *

He starts to look away, and I can't believe I thought he would give in.

Maybe all these months of wanting him, catching him playfully looking back, and the party tonight, him stealing me away, I thought he wanted me, that he was the one that chose to wait for whatever was happening...

 _oh hell_ , this is because I want him, that is the only reason I need to grab his face and pull down.

I kiss him, _Hard._

Harder than I ever did for Kelvin, and I was glad I did.

His mouth tasted even better.

I was getting high off of just this.

He still did not respond,

when I release him, instead of reacting to my passion for him, his embarrassed face is off me, racing for the door.

"Bellamy," he was not the white knight and I am not his princess.

This was all a mistake,

I curl on the mattress, pull my dark tight curls out of my face, feeling heartless for doing this to Kelvin, ashamed for being rejected so easily.

I felt stupid. _What had I been thinking?_

And then Bellamy locks the door,

from the inside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to my Beta JC.**

* * *

Bellamy goes straight for my legs.

Pulling them forward, so I am right underneath him,

he is right on top of me as he lays all his weight down, nestling carefully against my curves,

his clothes and mine get squished against the friction.

He is the one to kiss me now, our mouths open to one another.

He tastes like the carbonated drink they were serving at the graduation, fizz and something exciting.

His hand moves to my right breast. He squeezes.

It was too much for a second kiss. It was not enough.

His tongue plays with my top lip.

My hands reach for him, they get lost in his curly kind of long hair, I love the feel of it,

much better than a buzz-cut, but I know if Bellamy had a buzz-cut I would still love running my fingers along his scalp.

His hand moves to the bottom of my shirt, pulling up and off, he sits on his legs to get a better look at me.

I am panting, leaning on my forearms, my white bra stark against my olive skin.

"What is it?"

He puts both hands on my breasts, so confident that his hands shook on the cups, and then he proceeded to smirk like a boy in the cookie jar.

I wondered what he was thinking, "You're such a good boy Bellamy."

And then my pulled my cups down.

I spoke too soon.

It wasn't cold, in fact the space between us filled with hot air, my nipples were hard.

He squeezed them, pinched. Licked his lips.

 _Oh Bellamy._


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to my Beta, JC.**

* * *

He makes my mind buzzed.

I wrap my naked legs around his still gyrating hips, teasing us both through his pants.

I knew this should not be happening, he was better than this.

This was never meant to be more than _not so innocent_ looks.

Bellamy wraps his mouth around my bare nipple, and I am lost again.

My hands find a deeper grip on his hair,

enjoying the feel of his lips on every part that matters.

One of his warm hands dares sliding downwards my ticklish rib-cage, reaching, and finding his way around to my ass, grabbing it as he grunted a curse for every thrust he gave, making me moan when he rubbed his most sensitive parts against mine, the act only coiling my belly, preparing me to explode.

He moved his hand to the front of my own pants, undid the zipper, tugging it down, and his fingers finding how much he turned me on.

He chuckles, he speaks, "You're already wet."

Bellamy's surprised words turn me on even more, I claw against his back, and he rubs my panties in return, circling around my clit, making me want him until it hurts to speak, to even think.

I have to, tell him, "Fuck...Fuck me," I whisper against his cheek.

Suddenly his face is gone, and I hear the buttons of his pants leaving his hips, the sliding of fabric against skin, Bellamy Blake is as bare as me,

skin-to-skin,

Before I knew it, I felt the head of his dick moving up and down my slit.

I shivered at the intended intrusion.

I wanted to hold him in my hand. Pump him. Lead him in. Welcome him.

But Bellamy pushes his way in, and I am only left to claw at the headrest above us.

He grunted into my neck as he pulled out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to my Beta, JC.**

* * *

He pulled out, only to push straight back in.

Bellamy felt so fucken good.

Except he didn't move.

He was so still in my arms,

like he was afraid to let go of his purchase, afraid of leaving the warmth that I offered, and I found it sweet,

but I needed him to move, I needed him to fuck me, stop this teasing shit he was doing. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"You have to move Bellamy."

"I am, give me a sec," he said, and I helped him by moving my leg, setting my foot at the bottom of the bed, pushing back, and opening myself up for him.

"God," he mumbled something else, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Come on Cadet Blake," I teased him, and he thrusted back into me, making me moan so loud, and I knew nothing else was on his mind. Not when he looked down at me in that hooded gaze, dark pupils staring down at my panting mouth, at the effect he had on me.

But then he started to pull out and push in harder and faster with each thrust, it was punishing, not nice at all, and I could care less.

This was better than the fantasy I created,

better than when I touched myself on this very same bed imagining him pistoning into me without mercy,

just like he was doing now.

Kelvin could have walked in, and I would not have given a fucken damn.

My sweating neck was licked by the man that demanded my whole attention, I had him finally inside me, my daydreams would be so much better now, and when Bellamy was grunting to his thrusts, pulling my hair back, making me scream until I came more than one time,

"Fuck," he had a choice words too,

but I couldn't hear past my own racing heart, pulsing pleasure in my ears,

I was on the highest cloud, and I swear I never wanted to come back down.


	11. Chapter 11

A hand waves in front of my face, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I grunt, leaning over to put chalk in my sweaty hands.

"Then what are you getting yourself into?"

"I don't know what your talking about Paul," I fake ignorance, trying to look anywhere but across the room.

Bellamy's coy smirk is across the room, he is leaning his arm over a petite blonde, perky breasts, and he knows that his innocent flirtations with the female Cadets, hell any female that is not me, bothers like a knife wedged under my nails. _How could it not?_

My lover tugs on the blonde Cadet's baby hairs and she giggles like it is the best thing in the world, I tear off wrappings from my hands, shoving it into a sad little ball, and throwing the mess into my bag.

I notice someone talking to me, "You know I have been talking to you this whole time?"

"Sorry Paul, I was distracted," I humor Paul Slater, my only equal on the training floor, "go on tell me Paul, what is eating you?"

"Eating me? How about the fact that you can't seem to stop picking up losers."

"Bellamy is not a loser," he lifts a dark eyebrow when I give him an oblivious look, "he is not Paul."

He sighs into his hands, "I honestly thought you were going to be okay Nia. I was proud of you when you dropped Walden," he confesses about Kelvin the cheater face, "but now your back to this shit again," I did not like his tone of voice, but of course Paul was not finished, "your going to ruin your chances here, fucking with the likes of him."

"I don't see why that would affect my performance," I grit through my teeth, taking off my combat boots, my training finished for the day, my instructor said I could leave a good hour before everyone else. _I didn't need to wipe the floor with Cadet asses for another hour,_ my instructor was too respectful to say it like that.

"Your performance?" That makes him laugh at me, "You almost lost against Stevens, and he is not even in our caliber."

"He got a lucky shot," I say, hurt that he would keep that against me, "I still won the fight. I can beat anyone here," I challenge him, going back to putting on my boots, tying the padded bandages around my fists, "go on, do you want a quick spar?"

He grins at the offer, but ends up shaking his head, pensive, "I don't want you to take this out on me," he is smart, he looks over to Bellamy, for a second I think he is going to challenge me to fight my loverboy, I find it petty, but instead he suggests, "how about you go up against Borus?"

"Borus?"

A hulk of a muscle man picks up a scrawny Guardsman, his neck muscles even contacting as he body slams the poor screaming young man into unconsciousness, "you have got be joking, he is a Guardsman Paul, I can't ask to fight him."

The smug Paul Slater leans back in his seat, getting comfortable, "If you can't take Borus in a match, then that is perfectly fine-"

I hear myself say, "I can take him-"

"Oh leave her alone Paul, stop provoking her," Becca, his girlfriend, is sitting with us too, she listened in on the whole conversations, and instead of remaining silent she spoke up this time, "just because you hate Blake doesn't mean you have to take it out on her."

"I only want Nia to improve," is Paul's cheap reason for wanting to see me get creamed for the first time.

Becca gasps, "Stop being so mean, she is going to get killed, is that what you want, this stupid little games you play with her, only to just get her mad enough to fight the most dangerous man on this damn Ark-"

Paul still has his smug smile.

It is mean for me.

I refused to be butt of Paul's jokes, he would never let this go if I chickened, "No I am not going to die, hey Borus!"

The beast turns at the call of his name.

"Spar me!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to my Beta, JC. Love you girl :)**

* * *

 **Bellamy POV**

"The answer is still a no."

"I want my fight."

He doesn't take kindly to Nia's commands, "CADET NIA VEGA RETURN TO YOUR QUARTERS!" yelled Lieutenant Graco, a look of pure contempt growing on both of their faces.

"What is going on here," Major Walden steps in, of course he did, Nia was the class favorite.

"She wants to fight-" They whispered something, deliberating for a few minutes, and I looked away long enough for the the pretty blonde to notice something was wrong, "Bellamy what's wrong?"

After Walden tells him to do something, and Graco looks even more upset than before, "you want to fight, fine, right and center little missy. Everyone break it up, we are going to have a good match here, cease sparring Cadets! Nia Vega come to the front, where everyone can see you!"

I couldn't help myself from watching the way Nia grew rigid at being called out and went back into her soldier's steady pose towards the supervising officers.

The commanding officers asked her, "You wish to challenge Guardsman Borus?"

I chuckled, that was stupid.

She would never say yes to that suicide match, " _yes Sir,_ " Nia sounded so sure, and that made me rethink everything.

There was Commander Shumway, Major Byrne and Walden, and Sergeant Miller and Scott. Even the fat and repulsive Inspector Grus was there, he gave me a knowing smirk, and I found myself swallowing down the bile that threatened to come up. I hated that guy.

"You have our permission," Walden goes up to her, and she begins to explain to him, probably why she decided on an early grave.

"Can't back down now Nia, you already made a scene," said that asshole Paul she hanged out with, he whispers something to her, and says louder for everyone to hear, excited for the match, "don't say I didn't warn you."

"Get in the center today, Cadet Vega, not tomorrow," commanded Graco, already on her case, eager to see this too

"Yes, Lieutenant Graco," there is nervous laughter when she steps away from her peers.

It was no mystery why some people complained at her arrogant behavior.

Even with our trysts, I couldn't help but agree.

Maybe Big Borus would teach her some humility, I pushed to the front to see it first hand.

It just might make my day.

"GUARDSMAN BORUS! You come to the center too," Bellamy heard whispers and a mousy looking Cadet girl gave a yelp at the name of the Guardsman. The guy must be big because people were making a rather large gap for him to come through.

Our peers began to cheer, "Borus, Borus, Borus, Borus!"

I leaned on the tips of my toes to see a man push himself to the front.

"Oh shit," he was the biggest guy here, and his strides were confident and determined.

Borus was in his late twenties, he was bigger than even the giant seven foot Cadet Thrace, and instead of a bitter and snarling face, he looked like he ate a bull and it had morphed with his fully grown body.

"Jesus," I didn't wish that monster on my worst enemy.

Maybe I should just jump in the middle, break this all up, but then I remembered where I was,

and that Nia was not my girlfriend.

Major Walden stepped between them as the referee, "I want a fair fight. No biting, spitting, and hitting in places that are off limits," the guys winced loudly and the girls giggled.

Neither Cadet Vega nor Guardsman Borus found it funny, statues of two completely different body types.

Nia even managed to keep a cool head despite looking like a deliciously curvaceous doll in front of the man beast. Her standing there, ready to give her opponent hell, well it was fucken hot. I had to hold back from fixing my boxers.

"Ready Cadet Vega?"

"Sure," Nia said, before she went into a lazy battle stance in front of a neck-cracking Borus.

"You're my little bitch," says the hyped on pure testosterone Guardsman, totally uncalled for, and sneering at her like he was going to enjoy this more than he should. The sick perv, the hate I felt for this guy went to a completely different level.

Except Nia is calm, more than calm.

"If you want," she says back, keeping her stance, her lips inching upwards.

It was going to be a bloodbath.


	13. Chapter 13

**Nia's showdown. Thank you JC.**

* * *

"You are going to be my bitch today."

"If you want," I let him eat on that.

"That's enough," said Walden, "keep it clean. I don't want you showing these Cadets how animals fight. Do it right, do it quick," he said, and I can hear Bellamy groan, so did a great many people.

He was taking the fun from it.

Someone screams, "Fuck her up Borus!"

"Shut your goddamn mouth Cadet," said a guy in a Guardsman outfit, "they are starting."

We did.

Borus and I circled one another, each one of us not letting the other too close, mirroring.

"Kick his Ass Nia!"

Another girl shouted, "Take her down Borus, make her hurt!"

"Show her no mercy," said another a group of older Cadets, "show her how to go down the right way," and he laughed at his own innuendo.

When Major Walden yelled at the Cadets to be silent was when Borus flung his fist forward to jab my face.

I leaned backwards just enough, it didn't land, and a series of repeated jabs made me keep bending backwards while his Hulk sized fist came swooshing through the air.

The crowd roared.

Borus ran at me again, but I anticipated this, changing my position at the last second, and sent a flurry of jabs to Borus' side.

He groaned, but he took another try with a kick at my feet, doing just that, and with his strength I went down in the blink of an eye… _fuck._

"Ow," Bellamy winced.

There was little pain from falling, but I didn't stay that way for long, because before I knew it, Borus landed a solid kick to my rib cage, "Ah!"

I was rolling away, grimacing in pain, people _boohed_. Whatever it was for, I was losing this fight.

Borus stomped on my unguarded hand.

My hand was broken, I screamed and the crowd screamed.

I couldn't look for Bellamy, not know, so instead I pulled it together by flipping off my back, back on my two feet, and starting back again where things went wrong.

People screamed and cheered as Borus tried to make another kick at me and I dodged it.

We danced around the mat, but Borus had a change of tactic and he jabbed, first jab to actually land, and it hit me hard in the forehead.

I saw stars, blood dripping from my cracked nose, and I still shook my head, despite the blood, I would not give up, I would rather die.

"Fucken stay down bitch," his ferocious anger intensified.

I began hopping on my feet, baiting him, and that was when Borus made a quick dash forward, and I swept my feet under him sending the beast toppling down.

It went downhill from there.

I pounced on him.

I wrestled on the ground, and I flipped my strong legs around his head with my thighs wrapped around his neck, and squeezed, squeezed hard while I pulled the top of his arm backwards across my large chest and yanked as far up as I could possibly go.

I was immune to anything when Borus yelled loudly, reddening and gasping man in my adrenaline pumping hands, and still I would not give in. I tightened my legs around his head, "give up Borus," gritted the words through my clenched teeth.

"Never," he gasped out trying to reach my bun to pull it and weaken my anaconda like hold.

We struggled for only ten seconds, before I completely pulled his arm and quickly twisted it, a loud ugly pop filling the room.

Borus screamed, and there was so much shouting to answer it.

I could only think of what the hell I was trying to do next. I couldn't believe what I was doing, watching, a competitive Guardsman rendered to a blubbering mess.

"Oh shit she really got him now!"

"Get him Nia!"

"Take him out!"

The superior officers let us play it out, but I wondered when someone was going to get this fight under control. If this was the time to end then it had to be now.

I just continued, it looked like I was going to keep pulling until I tore his arm right out of the socket.

Around us pools of blood were left behind, and I had no idea it was going to be this bad, that the superiors were going to let it get this bad, that I would...

"Finish it Vega," commanded Major Walden.

My face lighted up at his words, and I reached my hand to Borus' neck that was located on the outside of my squeezing thighs and I proceeded to press down on the place that would stop the flow of oxygen. It was a defensive move. I watched as less than a few struggling moments Borus went under, and just like that Borus stopped fighting.

I entangled myself from my defeated partner.

The excited crowd went motionless, I couldn't blame them, I was feeling light-headed too, I fixed my nose, hoping it would set properly, before getting up on my one good hand, people moving so I could sit down, hopefully that would make the room stop spinning.

Everyone still looking at Borus, as if he would get up too.

A Cadet came forward, freaking out, "Is he dead?"

"No," Major Walden stepped even closer to the unmoving body, he checked something on Borus neck, probably his pulse, "He is out cold, can some of you guys get him to the infirmary," some of the guys did attempt take him.

It took five guys to lift the dead weight that had become Borus.


	14. Chapter 14

**All hail JC, thanks girl!**

* * *

A few days later,

they released me from the infirmary. My nose was splint, my hand in a cast, but all things considered I had got off much better than Borus.

"Nia, I need to speak to you."

I knew he would find me sooner or later.

I bite back the retort for him to leave me alone, "What's up Bells?"

Of course when he got me alone,

Bellamy questioned about my ridiculous showdown, "what was that fight about?"

I faked ignorance, "I was training Bellamy. That is what we do, we are Cadets remember?"

He tugged on my shoulder, backing off when I told him it hurt.

"I am not trying to hurt you Nia, we need to talk," until we were really alone, deserted hallways was kind of our thing, he illuminated me, "Are you were trying to prove a point to Paul? Was this some type of bet?"

"Fuck what Paul thinks," I can't help but say, "that was for me."

"So what are you trying to prove Nia? Why did you fight that guy? You almost-"

"Borus wanted to fight me too," I don't know why I am so offended by this, but I am, "You know why I fought him?" it was no math equation, "Because I wanted to, is that so hard to believe, I do things I want and that's it, there doesn't need to be a reason, not a point, I do what I do, and at the end of the day that is good for me," I end with a question, "is it good enough for you?"

I don't know why I had to put it like a question, I liked the conventional line we tempted to cross, but never did. We had no labels. Had no restrictions. We were together because we wanted to be. I had ever come out and just said it, but it was suggested... or at least I thought it was.

"No," Bellamy says up front, and that shuts my mind up, "that isn't good enough for me."

I am on the defensive, he said this like I was in the wrong, "Then what do you want from me? What are you trying to prove," I turn the aggravating question on him.

"I don't have to prove anything, I think me being here for you, when everyone just pretends like you didn't almost die-"

"I did not almost die," drama Queen much, "thanks for being here, but I never asked you to be here."

"I want to, I want to be here for you," he says, and then he fumbles when I give him the look, "what the hell is that for Nia? You don't like when I am here for for you? You want me to just leave you be, let you do your thing, and I do mine?"

"No, no, that is not what we are arguing about," I still did not get the reason, "why, why? what are you trying to prove by telling me this, that you're not a flake?"

"No, I think me being here shows I am not a flake," he was patronizing me.

That was a laugh, he did not get to play the white knight, not anymore, not when he fucked with other girls feelings, while he made sex eyes at me, he was just as bad, it just took me longer to realize this, "Hey Bellamy! You do realize that you are not a good person because you pity fuck the Ice Queen in your class, I am not one of your easy lays Bellamy, you can't just bat your pretty eyes-"

"I never thought you were," he is quick to defend himself, as if I was blind to the real reason he decided to fuck me, instead of agreeing, he just puts it out there, "why can't you let me take care of you, like Kelvin did," the name is like a puncture to my heart, "why won't you let me in?"

"Be my boyfriend?"

"Yeah," he shrugs.

He can't mean it.

I won't let him mean it.

"I don't need you to take care of me," the words come tumbling out, the reasoning sounding just fine to me, "I can take care of myself, that is what I do. I don't need a boyfriend right now."

"It shouldn't have to be just sex Nia," he says, rubbing his hair back, groaning loudly as if I just punched him in the belly of something.

"But that's it," I point between us, "that is all we can be. You have to do this Bellamy, I won't lie to you, we can't lie about what this really is, and if you want more, if you really want that, then I can't-"

"Okay, okay," he gives in, "Damn Nia, you're driving me crazy, you know that" he rubs his face a couple of times, and sinks to the floor.

Instead of leaving him, I take a seat next to him, waiting for him to just break up with me, make this mess we made a hell of a lot easier, more clean, than the jagged bloody stitching we were doing to stick together.

After a while he says it, he chuckles for some reason, "Did we just have our _first fight_?"

"I am not sure," we both are not crying, I don't really feel hurt about anything he said, and I don't feel like never seeing him again, "honestly, more than anything, I think I am a bit turned on now-" but that was not such a surprise, when it came to Bellamy, I usually always felt horny.

"Thank God, you too?"

 _He can't be serious?_

He grins a devilish smile, he is very serious, "that's my girl," he grabs my chin, bringing me close enough to captures my surprised lips, and my worries fly as he picks me up, heading to our room.

Later that night, Bellamy is snoring in my bed, his alien presence keeps me up, he never stayed the night, it's weird, _a good weird,_ and I have to pretend to smother myself in my pillow, hopefully that would help me forget Paul's smug face about my failure to keep my cool, and afterwards Bellamy's judgemental eyes when I told him that I didn't need him.

I feel like I can die of embarrassment here,

listening to Bellamy's snores,

feeling the fall and rise of his heated bare back,

" _I can get used to this_ ," I whisper so only I can hear, only I know.

there might be a day he will no longer sleep beside me,

and that is what scares me the most.


	15. Chapter 15

**Love you Beta, JC rocks.**

* * *

The Ark has finally gone downright crazy.

The Council is throwing a masquerade party, not for the hardworking adults keeping it afloat, no, that wouldn't make any sense, instead it is for their hormone crazed teenagers.

I can't complain, it puts Bellamy in a good mood.

He gets me alone from my post, and I naturally lift my head back when he comes for me,

welcoming him back, and his lips taste better for some reason,

he must have just been eating the chocolate cake.

I can taste it in his teeth, "we have only five minutes," I remind him, brushing off the red lipstick against his smirking mouth,

he dives back in to ruin my girlish attempt I made for him tonight.

The winning smile against my lips tells me he doesn't believe a word I say.

I am grateful he doesn't.

Bellamy takes us deeper in the shadowed hallway just outside the masquerade party.

The throngs of teenagers jumping and swaying to the vapid music is a perfect background to our own brand of dancing.

His hands find my wide hips.

They crawl up my shirt revealing our matching olive skin and I can hear my breaths come faster.

I cannot help it. He doesn't play with me, and I have always like that.

His course and strong hands softly brush past my belly-button and to my delight his fingers travel downwards.

I expected them to go up, but tonight he is a man full of surprises.

This time… he is getting his confidence. I step back, because I am wearing looser than usual pants, and I pull them forward, to give his greedy hands some room. He takes advantage of it, and that makes me bite my tongue from moaning as he cups me for the first time tonight.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to my Beta JC, she is an angel for helping me so much today.**

* * *

It feels too good.

I reward him by tipping my head further back and pulling my large curls to the side, and revealing my throat.

He cups me harder, palming me, and I let his mouth do what he wants my neck.

I let him take control, his public exhibition of his love, and for once I want this type of aggression.

All my life I have followed the rules, played it safe, bent my head, obeyed, but this night I was glad to tempt fate for something I rarely got.

Desperation.

Another delightful shiver runs through me as we publically, but alas in the shadows, are exploring each other.

His hand massages me and I grab the metal wall finding no support, and so that is how I pull him to me, and he pushes me into it.

His strength increases as I crash my lips to his with enough strength to bruise.

He doesn't back down, and I place sweet kisses on his mouth and miss when his mouth leaves to my neck and then my shoulder to lay his own greedy ones. He loved getting lost there.

As he is massaging my womanhood, his other hand holds my left thigh like a lifeline, and I like the thought of his hand imprinted on my olive-toned skin as I undress later on tonight. Maybe, _Bells_ , would see it, make him want to do with me all over again.

My reaching hands stay on his curly brown curls. They are so silky soft, my favorite part to run my fingers through, and he doesn't mind as I wind my fingers through them, and pull when his hand moves aside my lady garments, prodding, and then find his ultimate goal. I feel so naughty at the thought of someone catching us.

I wonder if _he_ would even care if someone found out about us.

 _Probably not._

I pull his hair again when he strokes my slit up and down, he finds my clit, rolling it in his thumb, knowing when to squeeze it.

I pull so hard on his hair, so that I can lick his long neck, leaving a love bite, "You are too rough," he chuckles in my ear as he begins to flick my clit at an unforgivable pace, "good, I like that," he says and his longest finger begins entering and stretching me as I pant, not knowing what to do with myself.

I shudder at the warm pulsing friction in my belly, his movements are smooth and slow, and so different than last time.

It feels too good to say anything, but I let him hear my sighs, he takes advantage of mental incapacity, "what? No talking? That good?"

That makes me grumble, "this is nothing," I promise him.

My horny mood dissipates with when critical eyes roam over the masquerade party, "let's get out of here Bellamy, let's go back to my room," I try saying when I see a line of patrolling guards on the fringes of the party.

My thoughts turn less lustful and more practical.

 _Five minutes over_ , I think.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you CJ! Love you :)**

* * *

The obscure darkness hides the investigating Guards and their random search,

but I know what is coming, "Bellamy we have to stop."

His finger stops inside me, "Why? What's wrong?"

His slippery fingers pull out,

and the knot in my belly begins fading, and I groan. I will miss the tingling friction we make, our mouths fighting for dominance, seeing who would be the first to moan, but the Guards are getting closer, and I wiggle in his embrace, for once worried that someone had seen the things we did in the dark.

"What are you seeing?" I stop him from turning.

He would return to his " _jumpy"_ self if he our superiors, and I always did prefer this confident Bellamy to the former.

I stare at his reddened lips as I whisper in his ear, "that was fun," he relaxes, lowering me to my wobbly feet, and his hands rest at my waist to steady me.

"You don't sound too upset, about me attacking you," he notices, "I thought you wanted us to be a secret?"

"Of course I want that," he was such a drama Queen, "And you didn't attack me, I liked it, no really I did," I stop him from shaking his head in disbelief, "that was really good," I explain rubbing my tingling lips, "I just don't want us to get caught," I confess so he doesn't look so disappointed, "our five minutes is over."

"Too bad I was going to see how fast I could make you-" he nips at my shoulder and it makes me yelp in surprise, "see, I still got it."

"Oh yeah, your a stud," I enlighten him, not believing for a second that he could do it fast enough to please us both and still not get caught.

"I guess next time," I pout and he kisses me again.

The Guards are getting closer to us, they were probably going to enlist us to help them, "they are going to search us Bellamy, search patrol is here," I say in a tired voice, not wanting this night to end, to go back to the way things were.

That is when Bellamy freezes.

"What's your problem," he doesn't hear me, "Bellamy what's wrong with you?" Sure the search patrol came earlier than expected, but that was not something bad, and suddenly the Ark's bright searchlights pour frozen light over the heads of the dancers and party guests.

The speakers are louder still, " _solar flare alert, solar flare alert, all citizens must report to the nearest shelter-"_

"Octavia," he says to me, and our eyes meet.

Green and Brown.

For only a moment, I see something that had no place there.

Fear.


	18. Chapter 18

**JC! You're the best**

* * *

His hands are gone,

and he is jogging through the scrambling teenagers,

towards some girl that he fights to get to,

the girl he felt _fear_ for, the girl he cared the most about.

I am left behind, to helplessly stare at his retreating back illuminated in the bright lights of the Ark sensors.

The tension of the Ark's strict policies fades to the back of my mind,

my duties as a Cadet,

my life as the untouchable Nia Vega,

it falls away to my budding relationship with Bellamy,

our secret love affair,

our nights together,

stolen moments,

none of it matters when he found _his_ Octavia and begins pulling the girl away from the descending Guards.

I am still watching,

and an ugly feeling of jealousy pours from me. I squash it.

He never promised me anything,

but still,

I am a bit curious to know Bellamy Blake has more secrets than I first thought.

 _This secret's name is called Octavia._


	19. Chapter 19

**I really liked this scene in TV show, the tension.  
**

* * *

I pick up a forgotten drink,

and chug it down as the Guards ask for everyone to get in a line.

I respond.

Some Guardsman gives me a scanner, and I just cross my arms, saying the same thing as the rest of the Cadets, "masks off, ID chips out, come on," I say scanning a few glum teenagers.

Another day in the life of a Cadet, "you know the drill."

I am quick enough to know that this is not the time to feel disappointed.

I am quicker than most when it comes to accepting my low expectations of other people.

I blame this on all the men in my life failing me in one way or another.

Except for one.

The same young man comes this way, with a sleepy girlfriend on his arm.

"Cadet Vega, I see you are enjoying the party, keeping these teenagers in line?" Paul addresses me, he has yet to catch on my newfound irritation with Bellamy's _mysterious girlfriend_.

My friend had purposefully kept his distance when I had absconded with Bellamy Blake. At least this time he had not made a fuss of my stupid indiscretions, and to that I was thankful.

I say to him, "Cadet Slater," I nod at his woman, "Cadet Becca."

"What's up Nia," she says playfully, a carbonated drink in one hand, she yawns with the other, "sucks that the masquerade party was cut short. Paul always looks so hot in mask," she tries to kiss a no bullshit taking Paul, "come on Paulie one kiss!"

Her unwelcoming boyfriend leans back far enough so she can't give him her public affections, "Some people can't control themselves at these things," Cadet Paul Slater turned those judgy eyes on me, "Cutting it a bit too close this time? You an exhibitionist now?"

My post-lust smile disappears, "If you mean attempting to have public sex with a fellow Cadet, when my boyfriend is sleeping with another woman," I cut out the anger out, knowing that would get me nowhere with Paul, "and running the high possibility of breaking Rule #69 on grounds of disobeying respectable public interactions, then yes, I am cutting it a bit too close."

"I don't blame you," Cadet Slater says so out of character, I narrow my eyes at him, he shrugs, kissing Becca's forehead as we look at the Gaurds lining up teenagers, we were immune to their anxiety of search and seizure, we are above it all, "we all need down time, we are the ones that actually get things done around here, we should have more time to do the things we want," like he would ever do the same.

 _I highly doubt that_ , I think, because for the five years I have known him,

I can hear the tone Paul is trying to hide.

The flush spreading across my cheeks as I look at the scanner in my hand, and still my panties are uncomfortably wet from Bellamy's touches.

The same Bellamy that would leave me for another hotter, younger, better chick when he felt like it.

Liar.

Cheater.

Another Kelvin, with a different face.

 _I get it now,_ Paul is not making fun of me, he is trying to make me see the unremarkable person I am becoming, the one that let's guys like Bellamy Blake use and abuse her.

And it finally worked this time,

because I believe Paul,

I am that girl.


	20. Chapter 20

I met Paul Slater on my first day of Science class.

I was not his friend until we partnered up at the Academy.

Any person with two brain cells would never choose Paul Slater as a friend.

He was challenging to say the least, competitive, vindictive, obsessively punctual, and could not stand those that fooled around instead of proving their work.

He was the teenage version of my father.

Maybe that is why I latched onto him.

 _The painful familiar._

And now,

Paul Slater was never thrilled of my first distraction; Kelvin Walden,

and now that the cheater had become distracted himself and he felt obliged to tell me so too many times to count.

 _"You like rubbing it in," I would say._

 _"You make it too easy," he caught onto my instability revolving the men in my life, "you need to control yourself."_

It was difficult when the voluptuous and beyond beautiful Selena had become my boyfriend's cheating whore, hanging on his arm, flipping her lasso black hair over her shoulder, and glaring at me when she thought I was not paying attention.

I couldn't hate the beautiful bitch too much.

Before she came along, I had capitalized and got a second lover as well.

To Paul,

Kelvin nor Bellamy Blake would ever sit right in his eyes, because they had distracted me from the true goal.

Promotion.

Where I saw spending time with _lovely men_ as fun, Paul saw _lovely distractions_ that would cause heartache and headaches.

Paul Slater was not a hypocrite.

Slater followed his own sociopathic belief for relationships amounting to _jackshi_ t in this line of work. Becca _could_ be called his girlfriend, but she rarely got to spend time with Slater. He would only allow two hours at the most, because she ran into his fitness time. I thought it was cruel to bring Becca along when she would never have his full attention, but of course, to each his own.

"You still disapprove. It's alright Slater, I get it," I say acknowledging the elephant that sits between us, "you are my second in my command," which meant that I had his ass, and he had mine.

He repeats it for me, "I _am_ your second Vega," he says, "and therefore have your best intention at heart," he placed his hand where his heart could be, "don't worry your pretty little face, that _jumpy no good_ Bellamy Blake will be taken care of," that makes my smile return.

I loved when he played around like this, but I will still careful. I always had to be.

"Negative," I said, "though I would prefer a few rough-housing during Cadet practice," I say knowing that Paul Slater would enjoy the possibility of beating Blake on the mat.

"Affirmative," Paul says hugging his sleepy woman and trying to keep her upright, "right after I put Becca to sleep we can-"

"CADET BLAKE!"

My attention is stolen.

"CADET BLAKE!" yells Commander Shumway, "why is your weapon out, mask off," he tells the girl named Octavia, tugging her mask down, and I know something isn't right.

Both Paul and I get closer.


	21. Chapter 21

**The ending of my favorite scene :(**

* * *

"Uh- she is fine sir," Cadet Blake says for his silent girl.

Something is going on.

Bellamy's eyes are open wider than usual,

his twitching is worse than ever,

and his hands clenched in fists, like someone just _tazed_ him, he tells Commander Shumway, "I-uh-scanned her already."

Now I know something is not right.

Bellamy was not one to lie, especially to a high-ranking official.

"You don't have a scanner on you," Shumway notices.

 _What a moron_. I roll my eyes.

Now he was in some deep shit, "ID please," the Commander asks Bellamy's girl again, and this time, _with feeling._

"No please- she needs to leave," Bellamy looks like someone kicked his mother or someone was going to say _Float her_.

I knew, from the get-go, this was not going to end with anyone getting away.

I was ready to walk over there, but Slater held me back, "what are you doing?"

I look at Paul's dark eyes and know that I would cross a line with helping my lover, but I do want to come to Bellamy's aid, "he is going to get in trouble."

"So?"

I give Paul a pissed off look, "what the hell Paul? We have to help."

Bellamy keeps pleading, "please," he is getting louder, "as a fellow guardsman, just walk out of here and I will give you anything you want. Anything." Bellamy looked like he meant it. That scares me, really scares me. Now I know whatever he is trying to do will send him straight into deep space.

Slater sees this too, but it is his girlfriend that says, "Looks like you have some competition Nia," said Becca, who was less sleepy by the moment, "shutup Becca," said Slater for me.

I must have missed something because Octavia goes running, "stop her," and two guards get Octavia.

At first, I didn't know what to believe,

but I would soon realize, after news broke out, that Octavia; Blake's _girlfriend_ , was in fact his little _sister_.

"Oh my god," I had been so wrong, but that did not make me feel any better.

No one had siblings on the Ark.

That made Octavia Blake's existence enough for her to become a Delinquent.

Thankfully, Blake didn't receive her fate.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He looks up at me, like he doesn't understand, "why didn't you tell me about Octavia? That you had a sister?"

"Why would you care," Bellamy fires right back, sitting on his bed, his eyes bloodshot red, and his knees jittering like an insane person.

"Because we don't lie to each other," I say when we are alone in his room now.

"I can't right now Nia-" he drops his head into his hands, pulling on his hair, I have to stop him from doing worse.

I feel like I am making it harder for him, seeing him like this, and for once I am trying not to be a complete bitch to him, "I am sorry Bellamy, this situation isn't fair," I say, because honestly that is the best I can do right now, "is there anything I can do for you?"

He doesn't answer me. I don't blame him.

They just took his sister, and than his mother shortly after.

They would Float his mother later on today, and that was reason enough for his sour attitude.

I was here to make sure he didn't do something he would regret. And so I had followed him, cleaned up a bit, fed him something that he refused to eat, and made sure he didn't do anything to warrant his arrest, get him Floated too, "we will find a way to get Octavia out of there," I say feeling hopeless, because I have no idea how, "I can pull some strings, get Major Walden to-"

He attacks, "Doesn't your boyfriend get you for this stuff?"

I blamed it on his depression, he just lost two of the closest people, I remind myself, so I humor him, "What boyfriend?"

He sighs, and puts his head in his hands, not ready, unmoving, a fucken zombie.

"What are you saying _Bellamy_?"

"That I don't want your pity _Nia_ ," he finally says it, and must have seen my worried face, "and you caring about me. You should go to Walden. Leave me alone."

"Bellamy," I tried to move his shaking hands from his face.

"Leave me alone!"

I had to take a step back, he looked ready to punch something, "So that's it, that's how this is going to go," I lean back against the metal front door, "everything that has happened won't change who you are. It won't change what we-"

"Change what we...what?" Bellamy says, "when we _fucked_ ," the word sounded wrong coming from him, "when I see you, I see a distraction."

Slater's warning about Bellamy Blake rings in my ear, "I should have protected my sister, I should have been with her instead of, of fucking around with you," he tells me standing and giving me his worst glare yet, "I regret ever meeting you."

The words hurt worse than I imagined.

I am already crying.

There is nothing left for me to give him now.

 _Fuck him._

I hope his face freezes in space.

"You don't have to tell me twice," I say and push the button of the front door, leaving Bellamy and stripping myself of any connection I once felt for him.

A month later he would become Janitor Blake.

He was never the same.


	22. Chapter 22

I became bolder,

The cafeteria became my new playground, "You know he is such a tramp, got with that Selena girl, and now I hear he is cheating on her," I tell Cadet Thrace, a friend of Kelvin's but I wouldn't give a shit who it was, as long as they were listening, "but I honestly don't know how he does it, he is fucken horrible in bed."

The guys laugh.

"No really," I lift my pinky, "not even that big."

Now that really gets them going.

After my little comments, Kelvin marches off with his slutty hunny.

"See," I point it out, "he can't even defend himself."

The assholes agree.

"Hey Nia, Nia," Thrace puts his hand in my lap, as his buddy tries to lean over to me, get my attention, I don't move Thrace's hand from my inner thigh, what would be the point, "hey, tell us the story about you kicking Paul's ass last week," they loved that one, I told it again, dramatizing Paul's reaction to getting knocked the fuck out.

The guys laughing like jackasses, I don't really fucken care anymore,

Despite my act,

I can't help but notice _him_ enter the room, a blue jumpsuit, his hair tucked under a silly hat,

"You're fucken awesome, let's go guys, we are going to be late,"

that when Cadet Thrace throws his food under the table rather than in the trashcan,

more pig than man,

and

Bellamy is there to pick it up.

 _That crushes me._

I stopped being careful with my thoughts, my actions, I stopped caring.

It's no wonder that I wake up in some stranger's bed, and a pissed off Paul mothering me.

"What the hell is this?"

"It's called _quickstep_ ," I say abnormally cheerful, giggling after snorting a line of I don't know what the hell it really was, it burns my nose though, and now I am paying it with shooting stars and the floor tilting up at me. I have to put out my hand to make it stop trying to come at me.

"Nia, Who the fuck is this," I look over to see a naked guy, big, handsome, and black stranger, he has the same dopey face I have.

"I don't know," I am perplexed with how he got here, but I still had the courtesy to stick out my hand, "my name's Nia, what's your name?"

The guy laughs at me, I laugh with him, I turn to laugh at Paul, and the guy joins in, we are all laughing.

Except the grump Paul,

My Sergeant Killjoy rains on our parade, proceeds to get me dressed, out of there, and reports the guy that made me higher than a kite.

My indiscretions are all over the Ark.

"You need to stop this Nia," Paul just doesn't give up.

I have to give it to him, he is persistent, "stop what?

I am not doing anything wrong," nope, just dozing the after effects in my bed, no rule breaking, "I am a good girl, very gooooooodddd girl," I wink at him, patting the bed next to me, "why don't you lay down with me?"

"What the hell Nia, this isn't you."

"Bellamy said yes," I say hopelessly, "he always used to say yes to me, he would rub my back when I was sleeping, I know he did it, but I didn't say anything because I liked it, I really liked it, I loved it," I am a blubbering mess now.

Thankfully Paul doesn't stick around for that part.

My bedroom door opens, and the mouse of the house checks on me, "Nia, darling?"

I groan, I am no one's darling, especially not hers, "Yes Susan."

My step-mother opens my door fully, "Paul left."

"Everyone leaves me," I tell her pitifully, so high that I am willing to open up to the carbon copy of what a mother is not supposed to be, the words still gush out of me, "mom getting Floated, Dad killing himself just for his sick satisfaction and now Bellamy is gone, and that..." I mused, "I think that is my breaking point, do I look broken to you?"

"That's nice dear, I hope you work this out," I might as well have spoken to air, she leans against the door, undisturbed by my words, "Is there anything I can get you?"

"You really suck," I say to my step-mother, that is the best way to put it, honestly, "I could kill myself, and no one would care."

"Call me if you need anything," she shuts the door,

Stepford Wife probably hopes I would actually do it this time.

"Don't tempt me," I talk to myself, "I might do it."


	23. Chapter 23

I couldn't take it anymore,

I had to see him.

I am waiting for him in the cafeteria, brushing off the losers I usually sat with.

When he walked in to start cleaning he tables, I pounced on my chance, "Let me talk to you."

He kept wiping, "No."

"Why the hell not?"

"I am working."

"So what," I say to him, not seeing the excuse, "who gives a dam about work, the Ark's rules, hell any of the Council's pretentious thoughts had to do with what we did with one another," I let him know, "I skipped my morning just to be here."

"Good for you," Bellamy says in the coldest voice he could muster.

I had worse back home, "you think pushing me away is the right thing to do, who else do you have Bellamy? What the hell makes you think that anyone is going to put up with your shit like I do, the answer is nobody, Nobody will-"

He looks up at me, his eyes slits, "can you move, I have to fucken clean this table."

"Fine," I do leave him,

for awhile,

going to my training, wrecking my peers, especially Paul's ass, and then back to searching for Bellamy.

I find him in the boy's restroom.

"Scram."

"This is the boy's restroom," says an older guy peeing at the urinal, he thankfully finishes his buisness, "no girls!"

"Who fucken cares," I come off as a crazy hormonal teenager, "You get the hell out, I need to talk to him," I tell a guy that cusses at me to leave, Bellamy groans in frustration, maybe because I found him, or maybe because I refuse to leave, even when other guys come in, threatening to turn me in, at least he starts by putting down his rag.

"What the hell Nia, you can't be here."

"Do you think I even care?"

"Of course you wouldn't," his voice rich with attitude, he goes to wipe the sinks, "you don't care about anything, you are the great Nia Vega, who can't do anything wrong, right? I am sorry my lowly self can't be perfect enough for the likes of you."

"Are you finished?" because I was done with it, hell I was ready to move on from all this bullshit, "what matters to me, is you refuse to listen to me. The reason why I need to talk to you, get it through your thick skull."

"Go on," he gives up, "you are going to say it one way or another."

I hold my hands together, it calms me down, "how could you push me away Bellamy, after everything, why did you push me away?"

"Why did I quit the Cadet Academy, why did I take this stupid job," he slaps the rag into a dirty bucket, "because it distracts me, I don't have to look at the assholes that killed my mother, and locked my sister up. I am tired of this, I don't want to be apart of it anymore, and since I can't really Float myself," he sighs, "not when Octavia is still alive, that doesn't leave me with much options."

"I don't care why you quit the Academy, none of that shit matters anymore," at least we can agree on that, I can agree turning into a toy soldier for the Cadet Academy is as unpleasant as the idea of watching Bellamy Float, "None of those things answer my question," I point at myself, "why did you push me away?"

"Nia," he whines, "why wouldn't I? This was never going to work, this sex thing we had," I wanted to correct him, "I am not finished, what we did was good when it was good, and hell, when my life went to shit, you couldn't be the farthest from my mind," he put it out there, "yes, I wanted to be your boyfriend, but that was when Octavia and my mom were coaching me to reach for something better," I had no idea he spoke to his mother and Octavia about me, that he would tell his family about someone like me, "I don't want it anymore," he is back to his glum self, "does that answer your question?"

"Yes," I walk over to him, close enough that I take the rag from his hands, dropping it in the bucket, and returning for his palm, he lets me hold his hand, "but I can't forget you so easily Bellamy," that is the damn truth, his brown eyes soften, his lips part, and I fight every urge in me to reach up and pull him in.

"I am sorry Bellamy," I apologize instead, "I never wanted to hurt you, not in any way," what we had was so much stronger than Kelvin, "I wished I would have met you before," before he lost a part of himself, "before our time ran out."

"Me too," he agrees, and that makes it worse.

"I will leave you alone now," I give him a false smile, and leave the boy's restroom, heading back to my room.

I strip to my underwear, slip under the covers, close my eyes, and dream.

I am looking at the ocean.

 _I can hear seagulls, feel the sun on my skin, and it is a glorious dream._

 _I can hear buzzing, it's a hornet, crawling on my arm, and before I know it, it stings me,_

 _except it really hurts,_

it wakes me to the darkness of my room, there is someone there, a person near my face, male,

but I am pulled under,

and under,

I don't even have the ability to scream, even dream, just floating in darkness, a sea of black.

When I wake up,

it is still dark,

I feel wet, sticky, my body lathered in it, I get up from my bed, feeling someone laying there next to me,

I panic, rushing to turn on the light, and wish I never had...


	24. Chapter 24

I was going to be punished,

to the farthest extent.

Luckily I was seventeen years old so it would not be immediate, "Miss Vega, you have been charged with the crime of murdering two people."

I shudder at Councilman Marcus Kane's words and someone helps me to stand.

I cover my nether region, only bloodied underwear and bra for modesty's sake, but I know everyone can see my lady bits, someone puts on a blanket from the bed over my bare shoulders, my very own blood stained cape.

My naked legs wobble,

are filled with goosebumps and my face is flushed with mortification,

this is a nightmare made real.

That did not stop my sentencing, "Since you are below the age of eighteen you will not be immediately prosecuted to the full extent. However the laws that provide protection and freedoms of the citizens of the Ark are hereby revoked from your status."

I already knew that bit,

but hearing it now made it all the more real.

"By decree of President Jaha, you are relieved of your identification card and from this day forward you will reside in the juvenile delinquent quarters until your trial date by the Council. If and when you are found guilty you will be sentenced to death. The procedure will be carried out by ejection of the Ark into space where you will die immediately. Do you understand what was just said to you."

 _Am I supposed to say something?_

My mouth opens and blood slips out while I search for words.

Major Walden's nasty sucker-punch taste like copper-liquid gunk, "I am innocent."

I say it while rubbing my painfully bruised neck, the same way I explained to Kelvin's father, Major Walden still tried to squeeze the life out of me, trying to give me a _just due for his dead son,_ but it was just downright revenge, "I didn't do this, I woke up in his blood, someone put the bodies there," but he doesn't believe me.

Instead he nods to the Guards standing vigil over my informal case, and I am taken out of my massacre of a bedroom, Kelvin's savaged dead body on my bed, a women's body in the living room, it was Selena, Kelvin's new girlfriend, fuck did I look guilty now. Anyone could believe I did this, a lover's quarrel, there was no way I could not un-make this suspicious scene, maybe if another person came up and fessed for the crimes. _Maybe not even then._

My step-mother was in the living room, with dried tears on her face, _fucking_ _actress_...didn't even pay attention to her, when I am pushed into the civilian crowded hallway.

My legs give out at the worst time, "Get up," they say,

and the guards don't wait for me, pulling my arms up despite my knees dragging, the teeth of the metal cuffs are biting in my wrist, they are on far too tight.

A grey faced Paul Slater watches as I go by,

his dead eyes' follow me as we leave and then I see him stay, instead of joining the Councilman Marcus Kane, whom stalks down Ark corridor like a man on a warpath, yelling orders to clean the dead bodies, people screaming at his words, probably not a good idea to say that out loud.

My guilty looking ass goes a different way.

I still hear my best friend's remark, "You deserved this."

I turn to see Paul smirk, "What the fuck Paul?"

There is no answer.

He doesn't need to give me one.

I can't believe it, I don't want to, "You did this, you planted the bodies there? Didn't you?"

There is still no answer, but,

Paul is grinning as they drag me forward.

I refuse to let this go.

I twisted my bruised body to a standstill, halting my Guards progression, amplified by me planting my feet in the ground, we came to a complete and abrupt stop.

"What the hell-" said one of my Guards.

I reacted.

I flipped,

bringing both of the men on their asses.

I lifted my leg up to kick the guard out cold as he tried to get up, and felt two arms come around me.

I winced as the second guard applied pressure on my cracked ribs, but I breathed out of the blackness.

I dug grit and bone through the cobwebs of exhaustion.

Instead of giving up, I head butted the man with the back of my head, and I was released.

I leaned forward as a sharp pain hit my stomach, seeing an opening in the crowd and I took it like an Olympic sprinter, feeling the blanket falling off my shoulders as I found my way closer to Paul Slater.

I side-stepped the last guard and raced for a waiting Paul in the crowd, he was saying something, but I head butted him with so much force it was like my nose was going to fall off, I then proceeded to do what Major Walden ordered the manic guards to do to me.

I kicked Paul repeatedly, kneeing him, using my teeth to bite his ear off, smiling with my bloody mouth while he called out for mercy, to stop the pain I caused him.

People were going insane, I was going insane, "Nia, NIA STOP!"

I stopped only because it was Bellamy's voice, saw him trying to break through the uproar I had made, he yelled over the sea of voices, "stop it they are going to hurt you! Let me in," He keeps pushing through the crowd in his Janitor's uniform, and his words, his actions are too familiar to not be questioned.

"I am fine," because there is no one else to fight me.

Paul is on the floor beaten, the guards are all out, and all I taste is blood, all I feel is adrenaline, "I am fine Bellamy."

He doesn't stop getting closer, I can see the sweat on his forehead, "Nia! No."

"Stay away from me you asshole," I snarl at Bellamy, hoping that his knight in shining armor routine doesn't get noticed.

 _He is going to get himself killed_ , I decide seeing his face react in pure fear, a downright shame for one so incredibly handsome.

"Nia behind you!"

The fallen guard _tazed_ my blind side,

and I was out like a light.

While I was under,

and being dragged to my cell for however long they wanted me to rot,

I kept fighting.

I fought for clarity, I told myself, I whispered, and I stayed alert for as long as I could, reminding myself of the truth in order to stay sane.

 _My name is Nia, and I am innocent._

 _I am innocent of murdering Kelvin Walden, Selena Gold, of ruining my only chance with the love of my life,_

 _and the only person who would have fought for me,_

 _and the only person that would have believed my innocence,_

 _I am sorry Bellamy,_

 _Kelvin, Selena… are dead, and they say I murdered them._

 _Those are lies,_

 _I am innocent._

My death sentence to Float can't be the farthest thing from the truth,

and my savage attack on Paul has covered my enemies tracks,

and in the process,

dug an even bigger hole for me to be buried in.


	25. Chapter 25

Someone pounded on my cell door.

"Macedonia," I cracked my acclimated eyes open, waking up in the dark,

but not really wanting to, "Macedonia Vega, you have company."

I woke up feeling depressed again from the dreams I could not make myself remember.

I rubbed my humongous belly,

my shirt riding above my bulbous unnaturally huge body, I hated what I had become, but I rubbed my stretch marks all the same.

Pretending like I was not mentally here.

They were opening the latch, "Get up 271!"

I opened my gritty eyes, rubbing the crust off.

My cell door was opened,

Guards always present,

and fluorescent light from the hallway blinded my green eyes.

I fought against the morning haze in my brain, because I was no longer alone in my cell.

Sure I didn't know what time of the day it was, but I had adapted to it. My sleep cycle was all fucked up, even if I tried to follow it.

My circadian rhythm must be hating me.

My severely reduced in size stomach really hated me,

but that would have to wait.

I had company. There was a female medical apprentice outside of my cell, and two male guards had invited themselves in, a white coat woman behind them. Their indifferent hard-ass faces were a fortunate difference from the usual harassing Guardsmen. The first guard must be more than a few years older than myself, and the second was none other than Lieutenant Graco.

"Hello old friend," I teased the one man that could not care less about me.

I was thankful for that, like Bellamy I didn't want anyone's pity, he was not the type of person to give it.

My Cadet history would not give me any favors from here on out, not when all my jailers had graduated from the Academy I was once glorified in.

"Behave yourself Nia," he held the tazer ready in his hand.

The timid medical assistant at the front squeaked, "I am here for our weekly doctor visit," said the apprentice that had been treating me, and helped with Doctor Griffin, and left when she was told to do so. The young woman's eyes were small, dark, and frightened. She had a smaller physique, she had brown haired bangs that covered her eyes, and was clutching her board like a lifeline. _Mousy,_ I decided.

"If you are feeling up to it, we can begin now," said the mousy apprentice, "we will have your check-up, and I will do your vitals."

I gave a long sigh, and really I was frustrated that the Mouse said it as if I had a choice.

I didn't get choices,

 _not anymore._

I didn't want them anyway. Mousy made the mistake of coming too close, it was the first kind touch I had recieved in a long time, a hand on my shoulder as the pressure cuff was placed, and the sweet feeling didn't last long.

The experienced Lieutenant Graco pushed me back and away from the apprentice,

like I had tried to attack the innocent woman, "She is a killer," he reasoned with the naive assistant, prodding me backward with the tazer, like it was his baton, it shocked my arm, I bit back the curse on her lips, "she killed two people already."

"Don't _taze_ her! She is harmless," Mousy analyzed, too kindly of the person she was treating, "She has no friends, no family, who is she going to fight for? What would be her reason to harm her? For God sakes she is pregnant Lieutenant Graco."

I didn't need to have people to fight for,

not when I felt like tearing off someone's ear again.

Lieutenant Graco knew me, that is why our superiors put him on my case, "still she cannot be trusted. Do not feel sorry for her, and in the future," he bent his head down to the apprentice small stature, "never tell me how to do my job. I am a Lieutenant of this Ark, a high ranking officer, and that thing," he pointed at me, "is my highest priority to keep contained. Do you know what she does? She rips men, woman, even little girls like yourself to shreds. Took down two of my men, beating them to death, gave them concussions, and ripped a man's tongue out of his mouth."

I smirked, _I enjoyed hurting that perverted asshole._

"I had to tell his mother that I allowed a felon to hurt her only son. Lucky for him Doctor Griffin patched him up before he lost his tongue. Do you hear that, Prisoner 271, he is doing fine, no thanks to you."

I muttered something vile, I didn't really know what it was.

"What did you say?" He yelled in the my face, and the apprentice flinched in surprise at his forceful loud voice. I was used to the guttural language. It was my brand of music.

"You dumb bitch, don't think I will not hurt you because you're pregnant," I looked down at her very obvious pregnant belly, truly smirking now, "just because I can't put a bullet in your head, here and now, I would still do it. But you better believe when your time comes around," I dropped my smirk, "no one is going to give two shits what happens to you, are you listening to me!"

I didn't have the luxury to react, "stupid bitch, you better be listening,"

the spit from his abrupt scream was still on my face, and it was killing me not to rub it off and push it back down Graco's throat.

 _Alpha dog asshole_ , I rebelled in my mind.

"You are nothing," a furious Graco tells me after the assistant gets my blood, piss, and whatever it is she wanted.

"No one is going to fucken remember you."

I don't think that was ever meant to be answered by me.

Sure,

I _had_ become a failed guardsman,

who had once aspired to replace Commander Shumway,

but instead inhabited a new cell in Juvenile Lockup.

I would never speak to Bellamy or my traitor friends again.

That is what I chose believe, rubbing my baby-kicking belly endlessly, that is... _why no one would remember me._

I accepted my failed existence,

 _Until, we were given the chance to be sent to Earth._


	26. Chapter 26

_271._

 _271._

 _271._

I am number 271.

There is a hundred of us today, all figuratively branded with our numbers, and we are sentenced to die with them to boot.

 _The thing is_ , I am not going to die.

I refuse to.

At the present, I am no longer in an isolation cell,

instead with my new Delinquent brethren, we are hovering, a possible hundred feet, above the big blue planet.

A hundred teenage delinquents are wavering in sleep status, or waiting patiently, but no doubt when we get close to Earth's surface that will be a different story. They are assembling us into the launch ship. I step onto the Earth bound vessel without much of a fuss, because they are carrying and herding the rest of the large group right after me. There is barely enough space to squeeze in.

I make it in all the same.

We are _the 100_.

We are Chancellor Jaha's mission to save and report on Earth's ability to sustain life.

They strap me into my designated spot and my combat boots reach the ground in a seat that hugs both of my hips. "Sit down, sit down," they tell us and I lean back and wait. _I wonder how the Chancellor would feel if he was strapped into one of these seats?_

"Nia Vega," one of the Cadet attendants reads my number, I get flashbacks as they scan me, "Check. Next."

They sat me down and injected me with a serum.

It didn't hurt but it still knocked me out cold.

My brain was still awake.

Just like the humans survivors that ascended into space, sometime later, they had to come back down.

Ninety-six years later, we would reap what they sowed. To go where no Ark man or woman has gone before, and pave the way for future generations to return and prosper on soil, with real water, wind, and pure sunlight.

"What a pretty reason for a suicide mission," I mutter to myself.

That was the government propaganda bullshit they wanted us to believe, but in my head, I knew the real reason. We are rats. We had no purpose on the Ark except to feed off our masters, get injected with the right medicines, locked up until needed, and handcuffed with metal bands to shove the point across. Just like lab rats, we are disposable and reusable.

That cruel truth is better than any lie they feed us. We are lab rats dropped down to test a radioactive world. The poor fools that think otherwise, well, they can keep believing it for all I care. It is human to avoid the hard things, but that was not me.

I lived for the hard parts.

I began my strategy.


	27. Chapter 27

The hard parts would be after we survived this suicide mission,

 _How_ would we make a civilization with minimal resources?

Or better yet _what_ predators or disastrous habitats waited for the ones that survived the first moments of landfall?

That was, _if_ , there was any land safe enough to make landfall on.

I was, at the moment, more concerned about the _landing_ part.

They have us on a _hunk of junk_ space rocket, unstable, combustible, a drop ship,

heading down to a radioactive and possibly apocalyptic world.

 _Why?_

The real question is, _why not?_

There was only one word for rule breakers, _Float_ , so this was the better option for us Delinquents.

At least this has a possibility for survival and the survival for the Ark, or so the Council members had reasoned to me.

" _So, the plan is, you take care of my son," I licked my licks, "and I take care of Baby Griffin."_

 _"And my son too, watch over Wells," Chancellor Jaha had interrupted, "if you do those things, then you and your son will have a life on Earth together."_

 _"I hope I get to see your faces when that happens," I mull over, "I am going to be a pissed off ghost if this doesn't work."_

I agreed with them, but that didn't mean I trusted them.

My father, Paul, hell even Bellamy taught me better.

Chancellor Jaha had chosen me specifically to watch over his _precious_ cargo.

I was a player on his chess game rigged to explode.

The rules were simple.

Keep an eye on the Chancellor's son and his blonde girlfriend, keep them safe, keep them alive, they had told me, and I would gain my freedom on a planet that may or not be radioactively unstable.

 _Sounds like fun? Sounds like a pain,_ I remind myself, _I am not going to like this, not one bit._

If I succeeded I would get my fair share of _precious_ cargo.

Those manipulative bastards.

I told myself to breath and focus on surviving.

For my life,

and the precious life of Caleb Blake.


	28. Chapter 28

" _ALL CLEAR_ **. YOU ARE ALL CLEAR FOR TAKEOFF."**

I listen in my induced hazy mind, and at that moment,

I feel the drop ship fall and zero gravity kicks in.

My stomach is disagreeing with me.

I hate zero gravity, the weightless feeling that made your stomach do somersaults, and I know, I just know, we will die imprinted with the delinquent number that has taken our identity. _271_. How I hate my number.

To me it doesn't matter when death comes, because living in a cell, for so long, would make the sanest person look at a guard, a gun, or a piece of broken metal and see the possibility of escape. Humans are not meant to be stuck in metal prisons, and if you were treated like a Delinquent for long enough than you began to believe it. 271.

I didn't have that problem I had already been trained, _brainwashing, psh._

Long before I was drilled into a killing machine at the Academy.

Way before Bellamy left me broken-hearted girl.

My brainwashing had already begun long before I was stripped of my Ark given rights.

 ***FLASHBACK***

 _I was ten when I began the Junior Academy, "You feel no pain," An aged Lieutenant screamed in my face, "you have no purpose but to protect your fellow man, to maintain order, and to enforce the laws of the Ark," he went on to the next person, "You feel no pain."_

 _I felt no pain, "You are my daughter," my father said, handing me his survivalist journal, and making me feel special, "you will survive this." I knew he meant it. "Now open your mouth," he said and began unbuckling his belt. I hated this part._

 _I was his special project, "it hurts daddy," I say again, but he doesn't listen. He injects something else and taps on my bruised skin until the pain recedes, "This will make you strong Nia," he tells me, "make you stronger than you would ever be without it," like saying that will make it better, "you are going to make me proud, right?"_

 _I nod, not really knowing what else to do,_

 _and flinching when he ruffles my curly head, "good girl."_

 _I was fourteen when he stopped, because he died, fucker did it before I could get to him, "You shouldn't have pushed him to the edge Nia," whispered my only friend, Paul Slater, when we were alone, he believed I had something to do with my father's death. If only. I wish I had done far worse, imagined worse, but I wouldn't say that to him, "I'm sorry," I tried to be good for him, but didn't mean it._

 _In my old cell, I had a visitor._

 _The same visitor every day, "You're boy is getting big," said my step-mother, "your father would be so proud of you, a mother at eighteen, I am so proud to be a grandmother."_

 _I stared back at her, not really understanding how someone could be so immune to reality, and opened my mouth, "I disagree," I licked my lips, "you should just put me out of my misery Susan, have pity on me please. Kill me, before the Guards come, please."_

 _"Be good Nia," Susan says in her scary and cold voice, "be good and they might let you out."_

 ** _*END FLASHBACK*_**

I had outgrown the suicidal stage and became something more.

I was ready for death,

but that also meant I was going to fight until the last possible moment.

I had survived too much and for too long to just make it easy for the final sleep.

I would not give into death.

I had the discipline for it.

My finesse for discipline had made me an asset to Chancellor Jaha and his side-kick Council-member, Doctor Griffin.

In my meeting with them, my superiors had the decency to alert me to the agenda of the 100, my mission of playing baby-sitter, and like the trained soldier,

I had responded in kind.

I see dim lights as I leave the drowsy realm.

I am waking up, but I am not the only one.


	29. Chapter 29

There is a lot of us,

and we are strapped in chairs,

strapped on the walls surrounding the circular room,

and the televisions mounted on the wall are fizzing with black and white streaked static.

 _Creepy Shit._

The drop ship shakes, turbulence makes it all the more scary, and the screams of the passengers make it all the more real.

I give my own scream,

and out of nowhere, someone grabs my jeaned thigh, "Little Nia is so afraid," a snide voice says, and I know who it is, "Roth," I curse him and the former Cadet's pale hands wrap around my olive-toned arm, already prepared for my retaliation.

He pulls my arm hard over his chest, twisting it unnaturally cruel angle, and I scream again,

but this time it is for the shooting pain going up my shoulder.

My drowsiness dissipates quickly as the pain increases,

and an enraged Cadet Roth waste no time as he attempts to harm me while I am strapped next to him.

He is doing a good job,

because I can no longer feel my fingers and his triumphant smile at the sound of my bones breaking,

his hold makes me groan in my own fury, "what Nia? Not so strong anymore?"

"Fuck you," I throw my head back, my curls getting in the way, and growl with my teeth into his alarmingly happy freckled face.

Slater would be ever so proud of his baby Cadet.

One of his cronies found me first, and his follower Jake Roth is doing what he was trained to do.

I groaned in pain,

Cadet Roth was so close to popping my socket,

he already broke two fingers, my elbow was cracking, and the sound made the freckles on his cheek stretch with his smile, and I know this would not end well.

The people around me scream, finally realizing how serious this is going to get, "someone help her."

I have to save myself, so I pull Roth closer.

My other arm loops around and I crash my boney fist into his face. _Crunch._

I broke his nose. "Fuck," he says, but I don't stop, I punch two solid times, and he is out cold.

I have probably twenty pounds on him, way heavier than I was before, and my muscle index only increased since I have been pressing 240 in my three years in confinement. There was only so much things I could do in a tiny cell.

Unfortunately, Roth doesn't have a chance, and so I tear limp fingers away from my own arm, wiggling my elbow, and inspecting my fingers with my other bloody hand.

"Oh my gosh! What is she doing!"

"What? what did I do... _oh_ ," _yeah_ , I just now understand what I did, I punched a undercover Cadet... in a room of Delinquents, _fuck._

Father had always said aggression was not safe in closed spaces, my seat buddies start freaking out, "get away, don't kill us too, she is crazy help us!" _Damn._

I was already scaring the juvenile offenders that are forced in my close proximity.

Others were listening in and craning their heads, and my shifty eyes do not help my situation. Now there is more screams, screams about me, and the person on the side of me is trying to get out, "what is happening, someone was fighting!"

"You killed him!" said the girl next to me, fighting to get out, her hands slipping on her straps.

"Oh I did not, I was defending myself," I shush her, "calm down, calm down. Everyone calm down. It is self-defense," self-defense my ass, "he is breathing," I show her, "see he is still breathing, now you have to relax, okay? Okay?"

She nods her head quickly, her eyes still fearful, the atmosphere calms to an acceptable place after my false reassurances, but I can tell my seat partner doesn't believe me.

I don't blame her.

If they weren't here I would have broken Roth's neck and have been done with it. I would have dragged his dead corpse and used it as bait for other animals to come and feed on once we landed. He would have served me better that way, than having his crazy knocked out ass next to me. Now, I would have to watch him to make sure he didn't wake up.

I put my hand up to his broken nose, "he's breathing," I tell the freaking out girl next to me, "see?"

She doesn't want to see him, she looks sickened by the thought of looking at his bleeding broken nose.

It doesn't change what I think.

Paul Slater and his cronies were my enemies since day one of my confinement.

A guardsman mass murderer of two people had only had one place on the Ark, with her throat slit.

Now whoever knew that truth was going to finish what Slater ordered.

I was a dead woman if his groupie had joined the 100.

Maybe I should have told that to Chancellor Jaha before he sent me on this little suicide mission.

Maybe,

 _but we still had to land first._


	30. Chapter 30

"What's your name," I say to the female Delinquent beside me, trying to be civil.

I continue without her, "huh, mine's Nia? You're not going to talk to me? Am I that scary? Wow, I guess I am-"

"Jessica," she says to shut me up, but there is still fear in her voice.

"How about we keep ourselves calm? Huh Jessica?"

"You just punched a guy until he was unconscious," she said, "how is that calm?"

"Good point."

I rub my right wrist and I can see that the mechanical bracelet still hurts like a bitch, "but can you blame me, he started it?"

"You could have killed him."

"I think he was trying to do that too, don't judge me Jessica please, we are all stressed out as it is, friends?"

"No way," is her cocky little retort.

"Fine, your loss," I grin back at her, messing with my bracelet that dug into my flesh.

The mechanical bracelets must be the way for the Ark to see our health status while we went to earth. Little pin metal needles dig into my wrist and send messages to the mother-ship in space, each Delinquent has their own wristband. It was to show how we fared once we made it down _. If,_ we made it to the ground.

"You really shouldn't do what I do-" I tried being nice to Jessica but was interrupted by the flat screens that revealed our Chancellor's own private message for the 100.

" _Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now, "_ our great Leader on the Ark addressed the 100, " _you have been given a second chance. This is your chance, but I hope you see this as a chance not just for you, but a chance for all of us, for mankind itself."_

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, his righteous voice still louder than it should be, " _We have no idea what is waiting for you down there, if the odds of survival were better, than we would have sent others, frankly we are sending you because your crimes have made you expendable,"_ now that was just the ugly truth.

"Your dad's a dick Wells!"

Someone yells,

and others cheer for the truth.

Jessica said, "The Chancellor's son is here," she looked excited about it, like I had any idea what was going on, "do you know what he did," like I would know, "what if he tried rebelling against his dad, that would be so cool. Maybe we could meet him-" Roth began to wake up and I punched him again and again until he was out cold.

I did a good job of fucking his face up. Jessica stopped talking to me after that.

I get bored of that fast, the impending landing still on my nervous mind, "I have never met him," I tried smiling at a frozen Jessica, "have you met him?"

"But you have heard of him?" She can't be serious.

"I have been locked up for ten years," I lie to her, not blinking as I do, "all I know is my cell and how not to get my ass whooped."

That shuts her up.

The people in front of us would not meet my gaze. _Cowards._

I did know Wells Jaha, of course I knew him, even had a few dinners with his family when we were kids of the privileged elite.

I knew how stupid Jaha Junior was for getting sent to Juvenile Lockup, but I just shrugged it off. I had to play the idiot, and see who were the potential revenge seekers looking to get justice against Wells, and made sure I made quick work of them before they decided that the _vengeance juice_ was too sweet to pass up.

As I am listening for other hateful speech on Wells Jaha, a guy floats across the room.

"What an idiot," I mutter while he looks like the happiest person alive.

More like the stupidest.

Zero gravity seems to be his thing,

and I imagine if he would enjoy being a pancake once gravity rears it's ugly face.

"SPACEWALKER STRIKES AGAIN!"

There is giggling when Spacewalker begins talking to a blonde girl and a dark-skinned guy.

I can't hear them, but I can see that now two other guys are losing their red straps to their seats, following the first daredevil, and I whistle loudly.

It's not even five minutes and people are already getting suicidal up in here.

"That's him," Jessica points out the guy near Spacewalker, "that Wells Jaha."

"Jaha Junior," I say, "he doesn't look like a killer."

"Not all of us have to be," Jessica says, and I smile at the judgement she feels towards me.

She didn't know jack-shit.

Jaha's voice is loud and earnest, " _you must find those supplies immediately,"_ he must be talking about Mt. Weather. I am not worried. Radioactive levels or environmental destruction could have decimated that place. Landing was the most important part.

 _Speaking of the devil,_ the parachutes of the drop ship release and three things happen quicker than thought.

The three spacewalkers fly like dolls,

pipes start pouring gas,

and everyone screams bloody murder.

 _This is it._

 _This is it. This is it. Oh shit,_

 _is all I can think._

Sparks fly over all of us, and I cover my head.

My broken fingers are the least of my worries now, as I am jostled in my seat, the air is going smokey, and Jessica's hand finds mine as we plummet down.

I know it is not the time, but I still hold her hand.

This might be my last moments,

but I am not going to be a total bitch and push her away.

Suddenly there is flashing of dark, light, dark, light, and we make a bouncy landing that yanks like an angry bitch on my neck and internal organs.

This was going to hurt later,

but as soon as it began, it ended.

There is a moment of relief when everyone looks at everyone else.

"Listen," someone says in the back, "no machine hum."

This was trippy.

We had survived. We were on _Earth._


	31. Chapter 31

My hand tightens,

the hand holding mine tightens too,

and I look down at my hand that is connected with a grinning Jessica.

I don't return it.

Instead, I do what I should have done,

and yank my hand back and follow everyone else to the lower level.

I leave Roth behind, follow the crowd, down the ladder, to the only way out.

"We made it," I can feel the excitement in the air, we had made landfall, no more hum, no more zero gravity, we were on land, real land, the one our Science classes had prepared us for. The one our elders had talked about only in stories, and this was history in the making. Who cares if were lab rats? This is what living and surviving is all about... it's about reaching out for the fucken unknown, and hoping that you don't get it sliced off in the process. I am on cloud nine, and then remember that we are not out of the deep water yet.

"I heard there was a fight, right before the announcement was made, I was so sure," I notice that familiar voice, _it can't be?_

Oh but it is,

I see a raven head in the front the growing crowd heading down to the bottom floor of the drop ship, the ridiculously tall, stalky undercover Gard stands out in the crowd of teenage runts, descending down the stairs, and then Judas' voice is now so obvious, it hurts to hear him speak, "Fucken Paul," I whisper to myself, freaking out, keeping my eyes on Paul Slater. I had no idea he would be here, that made everything so much more difficult.

This was supposed to be a fresh start.

I was supposed to deal with him when he came down with the rest of the Ark... now I had to watch out for him too.

I keep my head down,

and go to the farthest of the line to get down.

I have to.

I have to keeping seeing him,

keeping my space from him, before he sees me.

The day was just beginning and that meant that my survival of the landing would be for nothing if he creeped up on me,

and killed me.

My sacrifice of leaving the Ark and my family behind, _would be for nothing._

I climb down the stairs, and head for the farthest section of the ground-floor.

I look for them, and it unnerves me how quickly I can find him, not alone anymore.

My stomach falls. "Oh hell no."

It is Paul Slater, Rebecca Lee, _and_ a bloodied Jake Roth leaning against the wall whispering things to them, as they lean in, shaking their heads, and then proceed to turn around as if they can feel my eyes on them.

His Cadet gang is there and by the way Roth keeps explaining things their eyes dart around competently around, to be looking for the same thing I was.

A Cadet traitor. Me.

I would not let them see me, and so I ducked lower behind the others.

 _Shit._ I was in deep shit. Three against one, and the landfall doors hadn't even opened yet.

"Step back everyone, step back," someone yells from the front.

It looks like someone is trying to make that happen, open us to Mother Earth.

 _I shiver._

This could be the end for all of us, or the beginning, hell both are freaking me out. I have never been so stressed out in my entire life, I am not even sure that it is physically possible to be this stressed out, my heart racing to a gallop, my sweaty hands coiling before me, and me hunched in the back, pretending not to exist, just for the sake of me to survive the next seconds.

I almost pray.

"STOP!"

Yells the blonde one that was with Jaha Junior, "the air could be toxic!"

She tells the idiot guy that tried getting us all killed, and taking charge of the whole situation, stealing the attention.

"If it's toxic we are dead anyway," and the more I listen to him, _the more…_

"Bellamy?" Someone says for me.

 _Of course._

Octavia Blake brushes by me as she comes up front to her brother,

and he looks dumbstruck at seeing her.

"My god, look how big you are," he says to her and a part of me smiles as they embrace one another.

He must have been waiting for this moment for a long time.

I am watching him keep embracing his sister, and it is so beautiful, it hurts to stay here, away from him, not show him that I have grown too. That I have been waiting so long to see his face, that I am so happy to see him alive, so handsome, and smiling like he is the luckiest person alive to see his sister again. This was supposed to be a reunion of sorts, and now Paul has ruined that for me too.

There is more talking in the front, and Jessica has found her way next to me and she says, "that's Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden in the floor!"

Bellamy catches his fiery sister before she attacks my stupid seat partner.

Paul's eyes dart this way, and I duck down,

bracing the metal outer walls.

That was close. I had been distracted by Bellamy, and had forgotten of my universal goal. _Surviving._

I slip away from Jessica before she notices, and climb on a the supply shelf in the back, while the Blake siblings distract everyone by opening the doors.

It was even harder with only one functioning arm, but the adrenaline coursing through me, it makes me feel like I could lift the drop ship with one hand if I tried hard enough. Lucky for me, that was not in my plans, and everyone's attention was occupied on the already opening doors.

I am shaking in my skin.

"Bellamy," I whisper his name, continuing my prayer, I hope that it isn't painful, because that would mean that he would feel it first, and I would die hearing him scream. Nothing sounds worse right now, and what is worse is I can't even say goodbye. He is less than twenty feet away and I can't do a damn thing. I feel helpless, worse than the thought of Floating.

That has to wait.

I cover my head and mouth as the metal doors slowly lower, '

strike the Earth's ground,

and bring in bright light, air, and a gush of wind…

which comes swooping into the room.

I cannot watch as a brave Octavia goes out, but I do, leaning over the supply shelf.

I watch as she takes a deep breath, and steps into the bright world. It is quite for a few moments. I fear for my life, but I am amazed at the awesome sight of light that invades my dark hiding place.

"WE ARE BACK BITCHES!"

She screams and even my own sociopathic ass smiles at her statement.

"Fuck yeah," I roll on my back and rub my broken fingers, "yes, yes, yes!"

The light and air is no longer so scary. Now I would wait.

Wait a while, while the lab rats tested the radioactive home-world, made sure it was safe, and I could take a nap till then.

 _I could finally close my eyes._


	32. Chapter 32

Landfall.

We had made it.

Now came the first moments that would determine our survival.

While everyone was running and jumping into the green alien world, I was smarter.

I stayed in the drop ship.

I had not left my hiding space where all the equipment was packaged on shelves.

There was two medium sized crates that hid me, that is, if no one was looking for me. I did not move a muscle. Not because I had spotted Slater and his groupie of reject Cadets but because I knew how dangerous radioactivity could be.

 ***FLASHBACK***

" _What is the first thing you are going to do?"_

" _Forage for supplies."_

 _He whipped me my already blistered palms, raised for my punishment._

" _No, try again," my father said, while I rubbed my red and already stinging hand._

" _I assess radioactivity levels."_

" _Good."_

 ** _*BACK*_**

I knew from my father that radioactivity crept up on you.

As long as I heard their yelling and celebration of being the first humans on Earth for over a hundred years, then I was not going to close the hatch, but wait it out.

I had to wait until they were occupied. Possibly when they went to scavenge and hunt.

Hunger would set in before the cold did,

and that was when I was going to strike.

I looked over the crates as the sound outside went from screaming to a low hum of conversation.

As long as they kept that up, that would mean us safer than I had predicted.

I heard someone coming back, and I smiled when it was Jaha Junior.

This was a good time to reveal myself to him. If we were going to be working together I might as well make a good introduction.

I was about to jump over when Roth stuck his head in, looking around, all suspicious like.

 _Damn._ I retreated back and knew I couldn't leave now. I watched as Jaha looked at some metal panels and cursed, they were completely destroyed, the crash had really done them in, I wondered what they were for, and why Wells Jaha kept cursing them.

But all I could do was wonder. Roth had already left, but I couldn't risk exposure so soon. I had to kill them before I went prowling around playing protector to him and some girl named Clarke Griffin. I had the dark, the night, I heard hunting then would work better, I would attack them when they were sleeping. Easier to take them all down at the same time.

 _Yes,_ my job sucked.

And, I had to watch gloomily as my _number one priority_ the Chancellor's little boy went unguarded.

I had to wait.

So I decided to sleep.

I had a long night ahead of me.

As I am taking my first nap on Earth, with fresh Earth air in my nostrils, is when I hear Well's loud voice, "We need to find Mt. Weather!"

"You heard my father's message," he reasons like that will make him any friends among those that were imprisoned by the very man, and I curse like a sailor, knowing something bad is going to happen if I keep my head down.

Nevertheless, Jaha Junior is not making my job easy, he rubbed it in their faces as if they were retards, "that has to be our first priority!"

I can hear Octavia Blake now, that surprises me, "what you think your father's in charge here? You and your little Princess." That intrigues me even more.

A female voice answers, "Do you think we even care who's in charge? We need to get to Mt. Weather! Not because the Chancellor said so, but because the longer we wait the hungrier we will get, and the harder this will be. How long do you think we will last without supplies," now I have to see who this girl is.

I push the carts away, and lean over the edge making my way down.

Her voice is louder now, "we are looking at a twenty mile trek. Okay, so if we want to get there before dark we need to leave, now." In her pretty princess dreams, she was not going with _my_ Wells Jaha.

I jumped and sneaked over to the opening and peered out into the green world.

It was more beautiful than I ever imagined, fresh breeze did wonderful things to my skin.

I didn't get to enjoy it too much because, I found Paul and Rebecca right away with a gang facing off against Jaha and again with the same blonde girl.

I was getting a strong suspicion that the blonde must be Clarke Griffin. She even looked a bit like her mom.

"I have a better idea," my attention was drawn to the familiar, Bellamy entered the conversation with an air of confidence, "you people go, find it for us, let the privilege do the hard work," he suggested, "for a change." There was cheering from the plebeians and I was rolling my eyes at the pettiness of it all. I needed to stay low so they wouldn't be cheering for my death next. _Thanks Bellamy._

"WE ALL NEED TO GO!" Yelled Wells.

Suddenly, a pale sardonic looking antagonizer comes up and pushes Well.

I growl in frustration.

This was going to be tougher than I thought, "Chancellor of Earth," the new enemy teases Wells, and the growing mob laughs. The prestigious boy doesn't think it's funny.

Instead of paying attention, Wells turns his back. Suddenly Wells gets tripped to the ground, twists his leg, and that is when I jump out from the landing ship. I was not going to play on the sidelines forever, and my prey is distracted with a fallen Wells. Right before I am about to kick the guy in the face with the top of foot. Someone jumps down, catching my leg.

It is not Bellamy.

Not Paul, thankfully.

Just, Spacewalker.

The gravity enthusiast pushes me away from doing something dangerous.

The look the guy gives me shows me that he is going to take care of it. I let him think he has the upper hand. People didn't need to know how capable I am, because that would mean more attention and that was not always a good thing.

I watch as Spacewalker steps up to the antagonizer, "Why don't you wait until the it's a fair fight?" He says and I disagree.

There is never any time better for a fight than the present.

I could take these cowards on, easy,

runts, plebeians, children,

but… I look at Paul and he looks at me.

I am not the _only_ experienced one.

Paul's dark eyes latch onto me, he frowns, and crosses his arms. Rebecca copies him, because she was always the perfect henchwoman. He knows I am here now. There is no going back.

Octavia comes from behind me, and I turn around, "Hey Spacewalker," she says, "rescue me next."

I can't help it, I look to Bellamy, and his reaction is priceless.

Brothers aren't meant to watch their sister's shamelessly flirt. It would be funny if I didn't know Bellamy, but I do, so it makes it all the more enjoyable. I catch his eyes. His surprise isn't just for Octavia, it's for me too. He is gasping and a part of me wants to tell him everything. Stop playing babysitter and just tell him the truth, but I can't. It wouldn't be right. People scatter as the confrontation ends.

I don't say a word to him, walk off, and follow the blonde.

She is already helping Wells Jaha to a seat, and so I do the same.

"I don't want your help- you shouldn't of come Wells," the blonde says to the Chancellor's son and then she notices my presence too late.

A fabricated smile come to her lips, "I am Clarke," says the girl I suspected to be so, "Who are you?" Clarke asks.

I am not paying attention to her, not when Jaha Junior has a banged up leg, "Wells Jaha, can you feel your toes."

He grits his teeth as I touch his foot, I deliberate the damage he has done to himself, pressing deeper on his toes, he groans, "yeah I can feel them, you can stop touching them."

I shake my head, "come on Clarke," I tell her, "go get me some strong branches and shavings of bark. This looks like the northern hemisphere, Virginia territory or state wasn't it," I say aloud, knowing that they dropped us somewhere near there, "there should be plenty of that stuff."

She gives me a look of disdain, she doesn't like orders, but she listens to me. That is good news. I can get rid of her for a moment, and fix Wells without the presence of her critical medical apprentice eyes.

"Why didn't you answer Clarke?" He asks again, "who the hell are you?" I shake my head.

"I am a juvenile delinquent and it doesn't matter who or what I was," I say, "Your dad sent me, and that is why I am here."

"My father? Why you?"

"I was once part of the Guard," I reveal to him. He can put the pieces together, "I was a damn good one before I fucked up. I am going to keep my promise and keep you and Clarke alive."

"How are you going to do that," he pointed self-righteously at his foot, "it doesn't look like you can handle a mob when they get the need to break my ankle."

"That was one man mob," I said, "and this," I grab his foot, and he yelps, "is me helping," I pull, push, and straighten it into place. I don't give him a chance to cry, because I slap some sense into him. It looks like he doesn't like my help. Too bad.

Clarke is already back when Wells is done crying like a baby. I use the thick sticks to set the bone and the bark shavings to tie it. I add a few more to get it tighter. Father always showed me that tighter was better. You just loosened it while you were moving so you wouldn't cut off too much circulation, "that should work," I say, "don't walk on it," I spot Jessica.

"Jessica," she stops talking and comes over.

"Yes?"

"Can you watch my friend," I say about Wells and she reluctantly says yes again, "and introduce him to some of your friends," I say, "we are going to need some of those," I remind my number one priority. He looks at me like he hates me. Too damn bad.

Clarke is looking at my work, she probably already knew how to caste his foot with her experience working as an apprentice with her Surgeon mother, "How did you learn about this stuff?" I shrug.

"Why do I feel like I can't trust you," Clarke ventures a guest.

"Because your smart," I grin back at her. It makes her glare at me just like Wells did. I did not ask for people to like me, they just had to stop being idiots, "Listen Clarke, I am here to make sure you both survive Earth, not get killed by our own people."

"That's nice to know," she doesn't look convinced.

Spacewalker chooses that moment to come up to all of us, "So when are we leaving for Mt. Weather?"

"Right now," Clarke says, when I say, "not today."

We look at each other. Fighting one another with just one look.

I am met with stubbornness. Clarke is a strong woman, she must have learned that from her mother. She is also task oriented, I can respect that, but going into the frontier with only one other person is a death sentence. Her foolishness was something I could never think highly of.

Spacewalker senses this, "I sense some disturbance in the force here," the shaggy haired spacewalker guy jokes, his hands in his pockets, and a cheap smile on his face.

I glare my daggers at him, and his daring look doesn't last long, "you are endangering Clarke Griffin and Wells Jaha, and that does not bode well for you," I told him truthfully.

Clarke faced off against me, defending him, "You are not my mother, or my babysitter," she says, like she has any idea about what I am trying to do, "you can't just order people around, and you are not my leader, or hers," she says pointing to an embarrassed Jessica, "and I am going to do what I think is best for all of us. I don't get to just worry about two people."

I was ready to verbally lash her when Wells says, "how are the two of you going to carry food for a hundred?"

"Exactly how will we do that Clarke?" I am happy he mentioned it, because I had thought these people couldn't be rational. Wells obviously was on my side, "what if there is other things more dangerous than some pissed off Deliquents?"

Spacewalker goes and grabs two innocent boys, "four of us will go."

They look like the worst two boys for this kind of things.

That is why I say, "Five," and turn to a sitting Wells, "Jessica can take care of you, right? No more fighting until I get back, okay?"

My drop ship buddy nods again and she does what I instructed. I would have to repay her later. _If,_ I came back. Wells doesn't argue. He is letting Jessica do her job and I hope that last longer than right now. As I see Jessica's friends come over, the hairs on my neck stand.

I look around and feel his gaze.

Paul Slater has been watching me.

Now Roth has found me too, and when the red-face and broken-nosed Cadet sees me, he brings his thumb across his throat. _Your dead_. If I didn't get the point he points at me, and I resist the urge to grin. It would be a pleasure to fulfill that request for him.

Instead I ignore them,

I feel sick knowing how much of my secret agenda is revealing and unraveling, and it's only the first day.

I needed to get away and plan on killing those three.

At the moment, I am only a one woman woman with a disabled Chancellor's son and a bossy Doctor's daughter.

The odds were not in my favor.

I look at what _odds_ I do have.

Clarke Griffin is whole and healthy. I had to at least save the one, and going and protecting the _healthier one_ was the smarter choice. Even if I honestly liked Wells more than I did Clarke, must've been because he reminded me a bit about Kelvin. Ouch. No. That thought was squashed given my history, because I usually killed the people I liked.

"Sounds like a party, make it six," a chipper than usual Octavia comes.

Naturally so does her protective brother, Bellamy effectively distracts me, so effortless now, "hey what do you think you are doing?"

"Going for a walk," Octavia sizes me up and I her.

I agree with Bellamy, he should keep her on a leash. She looked like she was itching for something dangerous, and that was the opposite of what I wanted.

Clarke distracts us all and touches Spacewalker's metal handcuff, " _were you trying to take this off?"_

"Yeah. So?"

"So," Blondie looks pissed, "this wristband sends your vital signs to the Ark, take it off and they think you are dead."

I am distracted.

I watch Bellamy's face, as the Princess keeps arguing with the Spacewalker. There is something happening in that brain of his, and I don't like it. Not one bit. Bellamy didn't look like he was thinking about keeping his wristband on, and that would mean that this mission would be futile if people started taking it off. I would have to talk to him about that later. He notices my direct gaze.

"Hello Bellamy," I say to him, and he only nods back awkwardly.

He refuses to meet my eyes.

Talk about an awkward moment, even Octavia noticed it.

"Okay," Clarke decides, "let's go."

Everyone falls in line, but I wait until Bellamy is kissed goodbye by his little sister.

"What are you doing Nia?"

"Trying to survive on Earth," I remain vague, it will save us both the time.

"I thought they Floated you," his voice changes, I notice it.

So does mine, remembering a guy that walked my drunk ass to my room, "You did?"

I see a very stable Bellamy before me, if my death meant anything like his mother's did, then he did not show it, in fact he looked so confident it hurt, "yes, I did believe it, so... _why didn't they?"_

Ouch, " _Geez Bellamy_ , don't celebrate on my account."

"You know I didn't mean it like that," Bellamy was a man of little words when it came to his feelings. He struggled to show his affection when they imprisoned Octavia, and now that she was free to go around in dangerous territory, I couldn't tell him about Caleb, that would set him off even more.

I was no going to open that can of worms until it became relevant. Instead I would just adjust my broken fingers into place, "let's focus on surviving, but Bells," I have his attention, "I want the same thing you want, to protect the ones you have to protect," I say nodding to Octavia, " I will watch her," I say, pointing to Wells, "if you watch him. Deal?"

For a moment I thought he was going to smirk and walk off, but instead he really looks at me, "this isn't easy Nia."

I had to get him out of that ditch he was digging, we had so much to do, "We can do this Bellamy. You be the Leader, and I will be the little warrior," he would know what that means.

That puts him in a good mood, "You would say that," he rubs his mouth, sighing, "fine, just keep an eye on her, be careful, she runs off when you least expect it."

"I can handle Octavia," I say as if I can understand his sister better than him, and we are clasping hands together, and he wishing me luck.

Right after my conversation with Bellamy,

I pat Well's back, remind him to rest and stick with the people I asked to watch over him.

He is a condescending type of guy, "I make no promises when everyone wants to kill me," he looks around at the people that refuse to stop staring at him. It makes me worried, but I can't stay so I shove the feeling away. If he dies, he dies, there is nothing I can do.

"Good point," I say, "try not to die," Wells doesn't think my joke is funny.

As I leave I look up at a worrying Bellamy, he got close to me as the group was ready to leave, I had some advice for him, "Keep your eyes peeled and weapon ready Bellamy. Use the drop ship, there is tons of metal there, I expect something when I get back."

He snorts and begins to walk off, "I don't have one," I hold his arm back.

I whisper, "You should get one. I have enemies. Don't get too comfortable."

"I know Paul is here," he says, "I will keep an eye on him."

"Two please," Paul honestly made me so nervous, and that he hadn't approached us, it just made it all the more worse when I had to confront him.

"Yeah, yeah, I got Paul, just watch my sister," he waves me off.

I walk off with the girls in the back, and the guys leading the front.

Octavia skips in front of both Clark and I, "Before you get any ideas, Finn's mine!"

"Before you get any ideas, I don't care," Clarke fires back at Octavia.

 _They can't be serious?_

I am still stuck on, "Who is Finn?"

"Spacewalker, that's me," Finn hears us, turning around to smirk as if he is God's gift to us.

 _Oh please._

If I wanted a panty drenching smile I would turn around for Bellamy, I hold myself back from doing so.

After a few moments I notice what I got into.

"Why did I get stuck with the babies," I mutter to myself,

keeping one eye to the great expanse of evergreen forest,

and one on the possible trailing killers that I left behind.


	33. Chapter 33

"That, my friend, is game," says one of the boys, when Finn puts a flower in Octavia's hair.

" _That_ , my friend is poisonous seamaki," says the other boy, Octavia is quick to take it off, but only after Finn walks off.

"What is it?" she says worriedly.

"The flower isn't poisonous," the boy contradicts himself easily, and I note not to touch the plant one way or another, "it is medicinal, calming actually."

Octavia looks beyond confused,

and that makes me smile.

I see now they were only teasing her.

These guys are so funny. I forgot how funny people could be.

"How can you tune this all out Clarke," Finn asks a leading Clarke, motivated to get to Mt. Weather before sundown.

I had been staying in the back,

scouting the area for anything suspicious, and that is when I spotted it.

At first I thought it was just the wind, but then I watched longer and saw a small hairy creature, with a bushy tail.

A squirrel.

I was enraptured.

Sure we heard and saw the birds calling to one another in the trees, the ever present songs of crickets and the miniscule movement of insects in the foliage and on the bark, but this was different. This was the first mammal I had seen. It brought on a whole new feeling of excitement because if this thing could survive here, then we surely could too.

"Where are you going?" One of the boys asks, and I put my finger to my lips.

I am not going to give myself up that easily.

I leave them, to follow the squirrel.

Animals had lived in videos and science books, and here it was, alive and well, right before me. My virtual training kicked in and I clenched my fashioned weapon. I look at leading Clarke that begins talking about animals, as they continue on the same path. _I could follow later_ , I tell myself as I stalk away from the path, and behind the squirrel, but this was so much better than following, I was meant to hunt.

In my hand I had the stone I have been chipping into a dagger,

and now I raise it over my head, ready for the _sneak attack._

I aim at the squirrel, and then with sharp precision I hit it.

It quickly scampers off, but I follow after it as quick as my legs can run. After a half minute I have the dead vermin in my hands, bloody squirrel brains on my shirt and hands, and then I retreat back to the trail. I get lost for a moment, "Clarke! Spacewalker!" the saliva builds up in my anxious mouth, "Ocatvia?!"

I lost them,

the fear is real now, and that is when I promise myself to, _always_ , stay on the trail. To do so otherwise was a sure way to get hurt or worse. I can't hear them anymore. I am no longer enraptured with the sunlit forest, every noise is a predator, and the seconds in complete silence is a chisel against my once calm mind.

All those years, survivalist lectures, virtual hunting, and torturous discipline of weapon handling had led me to survive on this terrain, and I knew that the moment I found them I would latch on, keep them, and not get distracted so easily again.

Despite my paranoia, I breathed in the fresh air, enjoying being in my element, and running toward where my group could have went, the path falling under my jog of footfalls, and hoping that my selfish decision has not cost me more than I thought.

I followed the path a little ways to thankfully see my buddies all crouched down,

staring into an open field. There was a deer grazing, so much like the Science videos, Clarke and the gang are staring at it the same way I did the squirrel, in complete fascination, a greedy giddy sensation that means that surviving here is all the more real, and I am happy too- until it turns it's head, it has two heads... the earth really has changed, radiation taking it's toll on everything it would seem. That makes me retract my earlier thoughts, worried if we ate these creatures... _would it affect us too?_

I still had to question, even when I was out of breath, "What- you guys looking at?"

huffing in gulps of air now that I have the chance, my bloody hands on my knees,

and letting my legs finally come to a rest.

Goggles turns around, "Where did you go-AAAAAFFFGGGGHHHH!"

They turned back to me and half of them screamed.

The guy with the _goggles_ was the loudest.

"Why are you covered in blood?" Clarke had to ask as we ventured on.

"I got dinner," I said showing them the squirrel that I had skinned, it's intestines were wrapped around my neck, drying while we were walking.

"You can't be serious?"

"How else are we supposed to eat," was my smart retort.

They looked at me like I wasn't serious.

It didn't really matter to me, so I shrugged it off, "starve for all I care."

I didn't like sharing anyways.

And I learned my lesson early on this trek to Mt. Weather,

 _don't go off the path._


	34. Chapter 34

Finn was talking more than usual, asking all sorts of questions, some would say flirting even, and for the first time I knew the reason.

"You're a popular girl Clarke," I mutter because telling her will no doubt make her upset again.

There is nothing more annoying than a pissed of Clarke.

I was just learning that.

I instead, from afar, watching in suppressed amusement as Blondie and Spacewalker were giving love struck eyes at one another, I recognized that a wild child Octavia hadn't noticed it yet, and may the stars help us when she did.

I pretended to notice any of them as I struck my own path on higher ground.

Of course, I could still see them,

but I wanted my distance just in case of an ambush.

While I was concentrating on us not dying,

one of the green boys thought it would be alright to say, "You know what I would like to know, why did they send us down here after ninety seven years? Why today?"

"Yeah Clarke, can you answer that for us," Finn wondered a bit too much for my taste. I was like a dog with it's bone. While they were enjoying a brisk hike through the undergrowth, I was watching out for predators and possibly… other beings. I was not liking how quiet it was getting.

Not one bit.

Octavia was getting louder, and getting more on my nerves, "Who cares, I woke up rotting in a cell," Octavia said happily, "now I am spinning in a forest!" She did look happy to get out, actually spinning through the undergrowth of thickly packed trees, and that was at least something to be happy about.

"Ditto Octavia," I say smartly, and knew that I had to be watching out for her too, Bellamy would be pissed if I was egging on her rebellious nature, "and you can still die in a forest, like you can in space. So stop making so much damn noise," I reminded them all, "before some animals does more than just _spin_ you."

"Ow, burn," said goggles guy and I gave him a glare.

" _don't do that_."

Now his buddy laughed, his slanted eyes and dark pin-straight brushed sideways against his forehead, "ow, burn Jasper."

A few steps later they were back to talking.

"Maybe it was a satellite," said the Asian looking one, he seemed like the intelligent one, compared to the scarecrow looking one named Jasper, "maybe that is why they sent us down."

"It wasn't a satellite," Clarke says and that stops me dead in my tracks.

She says something that makes my heart skip a beat, "The Arks is dying."

 _She can't be serious._

But she is very serious as she continues in the dreary news, "With the current population level there is roughly three months of life support, maybe four," she confessed.

"So that is the secret they were trying to keep," Finn asked, enthralled by her, "why they kept you in solitary. Floated your old man."

This was dangerous news, dangerous. I had yet to get back my breath first before I asked questions of my own. The Ark. All those people. _Caleb…_ He was still up there. Innocence was truly bliss, and I would hate to be a citizen of the Ark right now.

Clarke's ugly truth made my palms sweat badly. I still had people up there.

They would benefit by my survival and I theirs. Clarke must have known this, kept this to herself for a while know, and no wonder the Council had kept it away from the public.

Anarchy would spread.

This just showed how fucked up the Ark Council was,

and how far they were willing to go to maintain a faux utopia.

"My father was the engineer," Clarke confessed some more, and we all eagerly listened, "and when he discovered the flaw, he thought the people had a right to know, the Council disagreed, my mother disagreed, they were afraid it would cause a panic," she was right, it would have. Chancellor Jaha better be taking measures to save the rest of them, especially the young ones. My heart clenched, "we were going to go public anyways when Wells," it clenched tighter.

"He did what?" Finn asked, "Did he turn in your dad?" Finn insisted.

"Anyway," she deflected, we turned the bend before she could answer, or she would rather deflect that her best friend betrayed her, "we got caught before we could. That is why today," she said. _A very detailed but necessary answer_ , I thought, as my respect for Griffin grew ten-fold, "that is why it was worth the risk. Even if we all die, at least they bought themselves some more time," she finished. I too was at least happy for that.

Finn said something that made my head explode, "Wait, they are going to kill people aren't they?"

 _ **Kill.**_ _**People.**_ _Why?_

My heart was compelled to stopped now, a painful throb in my chest. Those bastards would kill for more time. Kill off the many so that the few could survive. _They didn't have to do that anymore_ , I reasoned with myself. I began to caress the metal handcuff around my wrist. I would survive and they would come back to Earth, join us. Caleb would survive. He had to.

"Good," Octavia bounced in front of us again, my blood went cold, "after what they did to me, I say float them all."

It wasn't me that pushed Octavia to the ground,

and held her down with my arms, it was the animal in me, "Fuck you, stupid girl!"

"Get off!"

"Fuck you," I scream like a crazed she-beast.

Maybe it was all the adrenaline, maybe it was seeing Paul Slater after years of wanting him and his cronies dead, maybe it was the fact that I was actually able to run without fear of hitting a metal wall or tazer wielding guard. Maybe, because I would have killed her if she was not Bellamy's sister, "Fuck you, stupid girl," I scream at her again, because I knew it was Octavia's stupid childish retort that made me want to punch her bloody.

I shook her instead of killing her, "There are children on the Ark, you selfish child," I said, "have you ever thought about the babies? Huh? They don't get a say in this, and what about the kids not young enough to know what hell hole they are living in, huh, what about them?" She didn't have a retort for that. I pushed her down again, they tried to call me off, and I wasn't hearing any of it.

I wasn't finished, "Oh, boo who, you got your childhood stolen, look around you, we all did."

She tried getting up, but I put the stone make-shift knife to her neck.

Everyone went a little crazy after that, but this girl needed to learn, "Listen, Octavia Blake, we are alive, we need to keep it that way, do you understand me," she was panting below me, but she nodded.

I tapped one of her plumb cheeks, "so grow the fuck up."

I got off her and trudged ahead.

My two fingers were throbbing with the pain of my earlier skirmish with Roth.

This pain was ten times as bad.

Sure, it was a pain in the ass taking care of Bellamy's kid sister,

but this was a game with far more stakes,

this was something I could not control, it was tearing me apart.

When I got back, Bellamy owed me big time.

In my mad haze,

My foot stepped over the edge of the cliff.


	35. Chapter 35

In my mad haze,

I _almost_ stepped over the edge.

The sound and water vapor awoke me from my turbulent mind.

I had to stop, not only because the overwhelming sensation of rushing water made me think of the beauty of an ocean,

but because it this rippling blue and whooshing river,

was blocking our way.

Octavia came next to me as I growled at the barrier to our destination, she found it funny, "so you think I should grow up, _huh_?"

"Yeah that is what I said," she really needed to, if it had to be me to tell her, so be it.

"Fine I will grow up."

That is when she proceeded to take off her shirt than her pants.

"It's radioactive retard," I said to her, but she wouldn't listen.

A part of me watched her as she neared the edge.

The beautiful teenage sister of Bellamy Blake was just fucking with me now.

"Octavia what are you doing?" Clarke yelled, which is what I should have done, but quicker than I could think the Blake girl jumped in.

I moaned in anger, "Are you kidding me?"

I took off my own clothes and my shirt.

My sports bra was tighter than it used to be.

"Wow," said Goggles, he pointed around my breasts, "you've got nice," I made a face at him, not having the time to slap those googles off his face.

"Shut-up before I deck you."

Goggles groaned, "I was going to say tattoos," I didn't stay to hear the rest, instead jumping in, in the attempts get closer to Octavia.

I bit down on my knife as I plummeted into the currents of the water. There could be monsters in the river for all I knew, and I was not going to let go of the only weapon I had.

As I was immersed in water, the water was shallow, so I didn't have to swim very much. Instead of enjoying my first actual dip in cool earth waters, I was water hopping towards the daredevil Octavia, attempting to get her out, the knife gritting in my teeth.

She looked scared now, "Ah, get away from me," the younger girl noticed my intrusion and tried getting away from me.

She splashed me.

 _She actually splashed me? She really did?_

My reaction was to splash her back.

She gasped, her eyes widening, "I am so getting you now."

For a few moments we splashed one another, competitively, trying to drown the other.

Dare I say it, _it was fun._

It didn't last long, "Octavia," they yelled, "Tattoo girl," the goggles guy said, "get out of the water!"

The aura of fun left quickly.

Right when I turned around, a black mass came at us, thankfully I still had my knife in my teeth, I took it in my hands, "get out Octavia, move," I pushed her hard, she fell farther toward the shore, when something curled around my midsection.

It brought me under and upside-down.

In the in-between time I knew I was screwed.

My brain recognized that I had only seconds before it constricted me or I fell into unconsciousness.

I did the only thing I could do.

I brought my hand hard down where it was wrapped and kept stabbing with my poor excuse of a knife.

It bit me on my left arm,

and for a moment I caught sight of it's teeth and stabbed hard on it's head, and stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, until the water was more red than blue.

It loosened its hold but I kept stabbing. It's slippery body released me and that was when I grabbed it's head and pulled it to the surface with me. Paddling upwards as I dragged the gigantic snake-like creature, which was as tall as I was, six feet at least, and thankfully it was beginning to float, making it easier to pull it to the surface.

When I resurfaced, I coughed up river water, and breathed in.

My lungs hurt and I had snot running down my nose, but I just didn't care.

This was surviving.

I had been down for a while, and I was thankful to see Octavia and Goggles on the rocks and even more so when they both reached for me. I climbed onto land, but not without my spoils. My arm must have looked bad because Clarke tore Goggles shirt and used it to tie around my upper bicep and stop the bleeding. I was never more thankful for the medical assistant as I was now.

"Yeah," I said, "thanks for the help by the way," they laughed like was funny, and I stood up to look at the damage. As I wrung my dark curls, I groaned because the monster's bite was uglier and more gory than I hoped it to be, the creature had taken some skin and muscle from my bicep, and the pain was only getting worse.

I hissed and turned away from the sight before I began crying over it in frustration.

This was an infection ready to happen. I tied my wet impossibly curly hair up Clarke didn't have the medicines to save me if it did come. I sent a prayer up to whoever was in charge, _let me live long enough for the Ark to return_ , I asked and really thought it through, _or just kill me quickly, don't let me suffer_.

I sighed.

The sun was going down, "We need to get back. It's getting dark," I said watching the sun set, no one really in the mood to move on once they got a good look at what happened to my arm, "We got food," I pointed to the river monster and then my measly small looking squirrel, "how about one of you give me a hand," I say, and that is the moment the sky decides to pour water.

I look up and cover my eyes.

My hands drip with it.

Beautiful. Refreshing.

 _It feels good_ , I decided, _not radioactive._

This is what rain feels like.

"This is so awesome," says Goggles jumping up and down, and his friend joins in. Soon all of us are dancing in the rain. I never imagined that today I would be doing this. It is like a dream. I begin swaying and dancing too, Octavia joins me, gives me a hug, "thanks," she says, "for saving me."

"Don't mention it," I tell her, even if I want her to tell her brother. That I was a good person too, that I could protect the people he loves, that he doesn't have to push me away anymore.

The things, I would never say.

Clarke and the others help haul the beast from the lake.

The river snake is bigger than I thought. I just watch as they pull it along, suprised that I killed something so vicious looking. My wounded arm has saved me the trouble for today.

As we head back, we see lightening for the first time and more rain starts pouring.

A storm is coming. I try to be an optimist, and be glad I have made it this far.

I look up,

dip my head back, and for the first time in my life, drink the sky.

I have never felt more alive.


	36. Chapter 36

"So tell me," says Goggles, "when did you become such a badass?"

I smiled at him, but refused to answer.

They would not find it such a happy story.

Instead I got to work, "who wants sushi?"

Everyone laughed as I had made the fire, but not with me.

They were still nervous, and the dark howling and freezing night made them inch closer to the fire.

I could hear Octavia whispering to the two guys, stories she must have heard about me, probably from Bellamy, probably not, considering we only had a few months together. I wasn't that important anyways, it was not like I was ever her brother's girlfriend. Nevertheless, to my ears, she was not painting me in a friendly light as the champion fighting pitbull for the Academy. They didn't help me concentrate as I went to work.

I went to butcher the more snake-like beast.

I started with the skin, pulled it back, then pulled up the body with ropes I had made from strips of thick bark and reeds from the river. They were fascinated with the process and I let them in on some tricks. It was the least I could do if I was trying to help them survive.

When I began pulling out the spine, tasting the juicy eyes, and licking my fingers is when I caught them staring.

They eyed my arm and bloody face, and refused to let me in on their jokes and stories. I knew their trust would not come, because of my unwillingness to fraternize with them, my deadly skills, and because they were smart. They shouldn't trust me. I valued my life more than theirs, and if it came to it, I would always choose me first.

It was just the way of the world. Just because you were stuck with people, didn't mean you had to befriend them. If they so much as thought of killing me, they were going to regret it. I didn't have to say it, because they were already treating me like a rattlesnake in their kitchen.

Nevertheless, I was still going to share my overwhelming amount of food.

I wasn't that anti-social.

All the while, I worked around their happy faces, and move to my seat, tearing off a piece of the cooking meat and begin eating. Now the first meal has begun, and chewing and eating what had tried to kill me hours ago, makes me feel like a true hunter.

The giant river-serpent tasted burnt in my mouth, and that was better than raw.

The meat went down better than anything I had in awhile, and I knew that was because it was real, _for once not artificial_. The others gave mixed reviews. Clarke and Finn were having a hard time eating, but Octavia and the guy crushing on her 'Goggles-guy' had dug in when they saw me take the first bites.

 _Even if I am eating radiation_ , I thought, _at least it tastes good._

"Badass," Goggles says again, enjoying the meal, "spill. Are you ever going to tell us your story?"

"Yeah," Octavia chimed, "when did you become such a killer."

My eyes glaze over, _I can see Kelvin's body slashed on my bed. Guns were so much more efficient than knifes, and the sight of his innards becoming outwards, I would forever hate knifes, guns were better, always better._ With that gory image, I shake it from my head.

"I am not a killer," I lie.

"Then when did you become such a badass," Goggles repeats, louder this time.

I hummed at the loud guy, "Probably about the time you pussied out of jumping in the water and helping me kill our dinner," I shoot back and everyone laughs again.

"Where did you get your tattoo," Spacewalker asks right after, "what is it?"

"A Tiger," I say tearing into the meat with my front teeth, "I got it when I joined the Academy, it's tradition."

I had a feeling Bellamy's sister would have something to say to that, "Bellamy doesn't have one. You said everyone gets one?"

I smile at Octavia, "oh, he has one," that makes the guys laugh, and now Octavia looks pissed for some reason.

It's easy to talk to them.

We don't exchange names and back stories yet, maybe because we are so tired.

I don't mind. It helps be stay detached.

Clarke, and I guess Octavia, were my priority along with a broken Wells back at home base. _If_ , he was still there when I got back. I checked my wound. I had wrapped it with a piece of my jacket, but it had become inflamed as I was preparing dinner for us, and so I didn't want to look at it too long. It wouldn't help me sleep.

 _Talking about sleep_ , "I will take first watch," I say climbing into a tree and sitting on one meaty looking branches. Octavia stares at me in wonder for a while and I wink back at her giving her a command to sleep. She obliges my commands. She isn't so bad once you talk some sense into her and we all have full stomachs now, so sleep should come easier.

I refused the pleasantness of resting my eyes.

I have the first watch I remind myself, whenever I yawn, instead of closing my eyes, I pinch my legs until the pain is enough to keep me up. _My will is stronger than my need to sleep_ , I tell myself. I watch the others.

Clarke takes the longest to go to sleep, then when the fire dims to a low burn,

and that is when the real magic happens.

I mutter, my face cast in a blue glow, "Oh wow!"

It was like I was looking at a sea of stars, but all around the forest floor, in the fauna, the trees, and I am enraptured by the blue neon lights. The brilliance of the luminous plants makes everything look alive with a pleasing color of bright aqua. It quickly becomes my favorite color, and I count the various plants until I get too tired to think. I sit that way for a few hours, my eyes drooping, until Finn awakes and then puts a finger to his lips. He wants to sneak off. _That's fine with me_ , I think, _as long as he doesn't take Blondie with him._

One less person to worry about, I remind myself, and then I am awoken by conversation.

I curse myself for falling asleep.

Clarke is speaking to Finn, "You went to the river?"

"I figured it was worth it," he says and gives Clarke something to drink.

I smile at his friendliness. He must really want her bad to walk a mile and bring her water. Bellamy could learn something from this guy. He teases her, and she him, than they go play in the dirt. It's all cute but I am still looking at the glowing blue night-time forest. I have never seen something so beautiful, and for once I am glad I will never return to the Ark. That world, in space, feels like the dream now.

This life, it is so much better.

"Hey badass girl," the Goggles guy's friend says up to me, the more intelligent of the two, "do you ever sleep? I mean how do you have this much energy," I don't say anything. He appraises the beautiful night world, "wow, what a view. This is better than being locked in a cell, am I right?"

"Can I help you," I tell him, upset that no one has relieved me of my post and now they are touching the glowy fauna stuff like they are babies playing and not seeing the danger. _God, it was like I was their mother._

"I never introduced myself," says the guy, "my name's Monty Green," and he points to a sleeping Goggles that is cuddling with a sleeping Octavia, "and that's my best friend Jasper Jordan."

"He isn't very smart," I say to Monty Green.

Monty shrugs, "I disagree. You should have seen on the Ark, he could-"

"That wasn't a question," I interrupt, "do you want to take my spot Green. I need sleep too." Green doesn't like my attitude, but I am cranky so his opinion means less to me. He doesn't make eye contact with me again, and I don't blame him.

I have not been much of a people person since my confinement, and long before then.

Even back on the Ark, I could name the people on my hand that I fraternized with, Bellamy knew it too... probably was the reason why I was flattered he ever talked to me.

"Bellamy, give me strength," I whisper his name as I walk over to the forest floor they were sleeping in before.

I just didn't see the point of being friendly to people you had no use for, it just wasted time with people you really needed. Like right now when I would rather be with Bellamy, or smell Caleb's hair, or run my hands through his father's hair, compare the both, see which one I would love more. It really didn't make sense, Caleb had inherited his father's hair, his nose, but his little green eyes, _those were all mine._

Instead of feeling guilty that I left my son behind, I find a already settled place and nestle down where Clarke had slept.

I had at least a few hours till sunrise,

and I wasn't going to waste them gawking at the radioactive scenery,

even if I really wanted to.

I close my eyes, count to a hundred, and imagine Caleb's eyes,

he childlike wonder that grows in them,

and the warm brown hues that reminds me so much of his father.


	37. Chapter 37

Dreams rarely make sense,

but this one did.

Maybe because it was my first night on Planet Earth,

 _I was back on the Ark._

 _At first, I thought nothing of it, until my cell-door opened and the outside was a curtain of glowing blue goo._

 _The same luminescent color that had amazed me the night before._

 _It was an enormous blob of the jelly stuff and the edges of the metal door showed it was going to squeeze it's way through any moment. Instead of panic, I feel peace, and I step up the glowing blob, it's pulsing now, and when I look through I see there is other things too._

 _Humanoid things,_

 _as well as serpent looking things._

 _One of the creatures gives me its hand._

 _It isn't a human hand, but it isn't animalistic either._

 _The scaly hand mimics that of an intelligent being and it beckons me forward with a finger curl motion._

 _I should bring myself away from it, but my peaceful mind thinks nothing of it._

 _I take it, and it pulls me in hard._

 _Now, I am in my old room. Not my cell, but my old room, the one where I was a little girl and…_

" _What are you doing Nia?" My father is there, of course he would be._

 _His presence makes me feel like a helpless little girl,_

 _he acts on it by grasping my arm, digging his nails into my flesh, and it hurts so bad, "didn't I say you had to finish your work before you play."_

 _I don't plead with him, I am too afraid._

 _He begins unbuckling his belt and that is when I run._

 _I don't get far,_

 _he throws me on the bed, and he comes on top of me, "stop, stop, stop, stop, please," now he makes me cry._

 _"Too late for that hunny," he says and now his underwear is coming off. I shut my eyes, hating what comes next with a passion to burn a thousand luminescent forests._

 _Suddenly, my father is gone. I don't miss him._

 _I open my hurting eyes, and I am not on the Ark._

 _I am at the drop ship,_

 _and the doors are opening, just for me._

 _There is no one around, which is weird, Bellamy should be here, maybe he was behind me, and I grew upset to see he wasn't._

 _Didn't everyone make it? I look out into the bright world as the drop shit doors fell, and see... dark desolation._

 _The earth is burnt. Red embers fly in the wind and the ground is filled with burnt bodies of the 100. The sky is filled with lightening, ominous dark grey clouds roll as far as the eye could see, and the earth erupts in molten rock that shoots up from the crevices of the mass dead. The gruesome sight sends my heart into a panic the likes I have never felt._

 _It gets worse, from the sky, the clouds open for a huge metallic space station. The Ark has returned, crashing to the earth, and everyone on board is obliterated. The crash landing sends a billowing mass clouds that engulf everything, and they are coming straight for me._

 _I can't breath now,_

 _and when I open my mouth,_

 _all my fears come rushing out._


	38. Chapter 38

**CLARKE POV**

At first I think it is a bird dying,

but no it's just Jasper Jordan and his solo about true love.

The song is for Octavia. It's something about falling in love and kissing or something, and one aggravated look from Finn makes me laugh and tuck one of my blond escaping hair behind my ear. He watches me and for a second I think something must be caught in it.

It looks like Octavia likes it even less, "just stop Jasper, please," she relents and ends their little love thing they got going on.

Jasper looks embarrassed and he does so, ducking his head when the energetic Blake stalks away to go relieve herself.

All these strong attitudes was going to get us in big trouble,

I think to myself,

Finn comes over and helps me pack while can't help but watch our other friendly pair fooling around.

"She is so going to ignore you from now on," Monty Green says and looks like he is going to break into laughter.

"Shut-up Monty," Jasper pushes him over and into the moist dirt for the comment.

They both begin to laugh like it was all a game, and something about that reminds me of when I was that close to Wells. He was my best friend, and yet… he betrayed me in the worst way by getting my father killed, and what made it even more unbearable was the fact that I had to watch the whole thing.

It would traumatize me for the rest of my life.

I would never forgive him, no matter what Wells did.

He didn't deserve my forgiveness.

"Hey guys," Finn interrupts us, "what is wrong with her?"

The once sleeping Guardswoman is turning around on the forest floor,

her long curly mane is filled with leaves, and nonsense words pour from her lips, "no please, not him. Not him."

"Should we wake her?"

Finn looks ready to, but I remember what she did the serpent, how she attacked Octavia when I told them the truth, and how I didn't trust her or her motives for taking care of us. There was just something, _off_ , about her. The simple fact,

I knew that she could kill me as easily as she did the sea monster and I was not in any way prepared to have a paranoid woman killing me while I was sleeping or had my back turned.

"Don't wake her Finn."

"Don't hurt," she rolled on her side, "save him, no please," and that is when she begins thrashing on the forest ground.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," She screams waking herself up.

In a quick second she in on her feet and she pulls off the bandages on her arm, and around the bite is swollen, red, and raw looking wound. Infection. Even if I was not a medical assistant. I know that is not a good sign. It is as if she knows the same because she already pacing.

"Fuck," she curses, "I'm fucked."

"When did that happen?" Jasper says making her even more angry.

"Yesterday," the Gaurdswoman grits out and attempts to touch it, "when I saved Octavia from her own stupidity,"

"hey," Octavia is back, "no one needed to save me! I can take care of myself."

"You ungrateful little-" she winces. She is obviously in a lot of pain. If only I had more things for her...maybe on the drop ship, "it isn't the infection," she declared, "the snake must have been poisonous. It just," she gritted her teeth, "it hurts like a bitch."

I hear myself say, "If it was poison, you would have been dead. It would have killed you in hours."

"Infection doesn't get this bad, this fast," she says, as if she has all the answers.

"Sometimes-" I begin,

and she snarls, "just shut-up you aren't helping."

I sigh my frustration away, "You need antibiotics," I say aloud what everyone is thinking, "maybe they are on the drop ship."

She gives me the same look when I was talking about Mt. Weather.

She thinks it is a suicide mission,

and I know, "I know that it is a long shot, but we have to stay positive."

"Stay positive?"

I have not seen her like this before, it frightens me.

I finger the stone knife, and bring it out of my back pocket.

I had taken it from her while she slept, "I am going to die of infection," she says, "I only have hours before I go septic. The drop ship is a day's hike from here Clarke," she says, "I won't make it back."

"That isn't true, you can have at the most a few days," I try to reason with her, but she doesn't want to listen.

"Don't try to placate me Clarke Griffin," she sneers, "I know when I see a death sentence, and this," she squeezed her red arm, blood, and puss came out of the wound, "this is not going to get better just like that."

"Not if you keep doing that!" I scream at her.

Still, she won't listen, "I can't go back like this," she says, "I won't survive the first few hours. I am an easy target," she says, talking to herself, "and something tells me an army of delinquents will pick me off the moment I come back," she looked directly at Octavia, "it wouldn't surprise me if your brother would be at the front of that line."

She is getting crazier by the moment.

I look to Finn,

but there is no hope in his eyes.

"Then don't come back," Octavia fires back.

We all stare at Octavia like she unleashed a tiger and thought it would be funny.

"What did you say?"

"Don't come back," Octavia says, showing me that she really cares nothing for her survival or appreciation to the people that sacrifice life and limb to keep her breathing. I can't imagine what is going through the girl's mind, "if your such a badass I'm sure you will find a way out of this."

"Yeah," Jasper says, naturally on Octavia's side, "go on."

I can't believe their childish temperament to play king of the playground right now. This was Earth. We didn't get to choose who we ended up with, we had to deal with it. I think of Wells and keep my mouth shut.

"You think I won't do it," the girl threatens, "you guys won't last without me," she says, "even like this," she indicates her infected arm, "I still can fight-"

"You can't fight for us," Monty Greene interrupts, "when you're dead."

There is a great silence after his words, no one had expected him to say that. Even if it was a high possibility that was not something you said to anyone, even to people that deserved it.

"Monty!' I never expected him to say that, "you guys stop it! Stop treating her like that!" Without much thought, the girl grabs her bloodied jacket, and ties it back over the flesh wound.

"I can find my own way back," she says, "forget you guys." Her eyes land on a fierce Octavia and then turn to me, "take care of yourself Clarke."

She turns around and starts jogging into the forest.

"No wait," I say, my feet carrying me forward, "don't leave us!"

"Just let her go Princess," Finn comes up to me and massages my shoulder.

He must know how much I didn't like what just happened.

"So who wants to go back to the river?" I give a look of disappointment to Jasper. I had thought him kind before, but now seeing what he was capable of, I just didn't know anymore.

"I do," Octavia raises her hand, still forcing a smile on her face to Jasper's invitation.

I roll my eyes at her. She was just being the worst person right now. I wanted to see if we could follow the infected girl… but Mt. Weather was still our priority. We needed to bring back food.

"We never even got her name," I say to Finn, "we didn't even care enough to ask."

"Yeah, I know," he agrees, "I really hope we don't regret this."

"Me too," I look to the trees where the nameless girl went off jogging, "me too."


	39. Chapter 39

My jog stops once I make it up the hill.

It wasn't so bad coming down the other day, but going up it now,

and in my condition.

I am exhausted. My panting breaths feel forced as they wheeze through my teeth, and I grab my side as if someone had landed a lucky punch there. I didn't deserve what they did to me, but I wasn't going to sulk about it. Camp was a half- a day's hike away and I needed to get there fast.

I heard a crack in front of me, and I lean up appraising my foreign surroundings. One day did not make me an expert.

A predator could find me unawares and pluck me off so easily right now.

I catch my breath and think.

" _What does this mean Nia?"_

" _That prudence is not always enough," I flinch when my father comes near, but there is no whip for me._

" _Very good, you have to wait for the exact moment Nia," he said, "if you fall to short or go too fast, you risk losing a meal," he ducks his head closer to my ear, "or your very life."_

 _I turn my head away, and thankfully he leaves me be._

How I wished I would have listened to him more.

I must have gotten lost because I am unsure of which way I came but more importantly which way I was trying to go.

My brain was pounding and I felt dehydrated.

I would not last long like this.

"I am dying father," I say to the bright blue sky that peeps through the evergreen trees.

The bright light of the sun doesn't feel so great anymore. My body doesn't feel so great anymore, "how proud would you be now?"

I get no answer, and that is better than I hoped for.

I may have hated my father, in fact, I despised him, more than I would admit to anyone,

but that didn't mean I did not respect him.

"I am not your little girl anymore!"

I scream up at the trees, "I am a woman," I say, "and I am going to die my own woman!"

I can feel the infection spreading. I will be dead soon, and if I heard my father's voice now, than I would know my sanity was lost, or… I was dead.

The disembodied voice of the television leaks into my mind, " _There is a code amongst wolves, honor the hierarchy, maintain order, obey the rule_ s," how I should have obeyed, " _and the lone wolf, is the dead wolf."_

The one that gets cut off the pack dies, and now I was living it.

I wondered how that lone wolf must have felt.

Probably how I was feeling now.

Apparently, my father never factored in teamwork, because I was his perfect project, and there was no place for un-exact numbers.

I was made to take care of _myself_. Not the Chancellor's son, not Griffin, not Octavia, and that was where his plans had been foiled.

His perfect survivalist, and his little warrior reborn was not enough to survive the big bad world.

The truth is, I did become his project, but as I had thought, it was not enough. My anti-social behavior had cost me my life, and it was only the second day back on earth

I was so sure I would make it at least the first month, but I would only last the _second day_ , that is just pathetic.

I hear someone whisper, " _Mommy," Caleb's first word._

"Who is there?"

No one is, but that does not stop the phantom scene from playing out.

" _No Mama," was the second words, and it was a lot less lovable._

" _No Mommy," I shook my head, telling him to share his food, "Yes Mommy," he said when I gave him his own food._

 _We both ate at the same time, and for some reason he thought everything was for him. If only._

" _Yummy Mommy," he would say._

 _"Yes yummy," I said pretending to enjoy the slob they gave me to eat, and eyeing his yummy looking baby-food with some hunger._

 _I knew I would be a horrible mother if I took but one bite of his food._

 _So I didn't even think about it._

 _Instead I enjoyed trying to share my own food, and getting icky faces from him, "No," he would say and push my slob away. "Yeah, I don't blame you," I kiss his cheek, "Mommy doesn't like it either."_

 _I had only three hours with him a day, feed him, play with him, love him but I made him repeat the word as many times as he could in the time between._

 _I longed for the days I would have him for almost the entire day, but he wasn't a baby anymore, and he didn't need me like he used to._

 _I still kissed his cheeks and tried to teach him what I could. Mommy. I loved hearing that word come from his little mouth. It tore my heart out me when they took him from me, and brought me a thousand moments of happiness to get him back the next day. Three hours a day. Three wonderful hours. It would never be enough._

"I love you Caleb," I said looking at the sky, "Mommy loves you," I say, thinking that someplace, up high, he was thinking of me too. Well, as much as a two year old could think of his mommy.

I hated to think what my death would be like for him.

Caleb would die without his parents, on a space Ark, that was destined to crash into the Earth or be exhumed of all air and resources to become a lifeless satellite.

A tomb of the Council's making.

"Gods help us," I said to anyone that was listening, and that was when I tripped.

It was not on a log, like I had first thought.

It was a leg.

A big black hairy leg. The giant animal must have been sleeping, because it made this noise between a grunt and a shriek of surprise. It was big. It was humanoid. Seven. Eight. Nine feet tall when it was standing.

I had never seen anything like it, and it took me a while to remember what it must have been.

"Gorilla," I said and ducked down, when it began pounding its chest in a territorial display.

I had seen that before, but in person, it was terrifying. My survival instincts kicked in late, but I still made myself small, and began by lowering my eyes in submission.

The television's warning soothed my frazzled mind, " _they can also be intimidating,"_ this voice is British, a person from a land called the United Kingdom, " _but that is not their nature,"_ moments after the documentary shows a great gorilla rushing to a uniformed and armed man to beat its chest and tear the ground at his feet.

That is what I see before me now, but the scale is bigger, much bigger. I had no idea that radiation could benefit animals, but it did for the gorilla's. It must have been a descendant of gorilla's that lived in zoos, but I can't imagine on the possibility because the sounds of the great beast getting closer to me is enough to make me almost lose my bowels.

This is what it meant to be prey.

Utterly vulnerable.

The great ape smashes it's muscled arms into a tree and it tears off a huge chunk with it.

The splinters go flying in the air. _That could be my head_ , I think, but duck even deeper into my submission.

I was not going to even dare looking up at the beast.

I don't move, but it isn't me that startled the gorilla.

 _Whish._

Through the air a spear meets the gorilla's massive head and the great beast falls forward, but thankfully not on me.

Now I look up, all around me, and see a pool of blood spreading around where the gorilla's head is, the beast had been taken down, killed, and then another shriek calls from the rooftops and a smaller gorilla comes up to the larger. As I keep watching, I understand what it is. A baby.

The baby's incessant screaming calls forward other gorillas but these are smaller.

I keep watching as they come closer, they are the height of average humans, they are standing upright, and then one of them takes off it's gorilla face, to reveal.

"You're human," I saw, lifting my bloody arm, "how, there are humans?"

The spear-wielding humans throw a net over the baby gorilla, and than they hit it over the head with the wooden side of their spear. It's cries go silent, and some part of me imagines these monsters doing the same to my Caleb. I scream at them to stop, to leave the baby alone, and now their eyes are on me.

"Hey, get off me!"

The next net, is for me, and the last thing I notice is a stained yellow teeth, filthy men in gorilla hides coming forward to knock me out of my misery, but before they do that I am also in a net.

It covers me entirely and for once I am too surprised to react.

I am a prisoner once more, but more importantly the 100 are not the only people out there.

That brings both joy and fear to me,

enough to let me close my eyes and let them drag me into never ending trails of stinging bushes and overgrown leafy debris.

At the clutches of these survivors, I feel hope for the future.


	40. Chapter 40

**Clarke POV**

 **Day 2- Drop Ship Landing**

We had made it back to the drop ship, but we weren't prepared for what waited for us.

"Wells!" I was too late, "Wells Stop!"

It was a stand-off in the middle of the 100 camp. Wells had someone at knife point, the guy's nose was bloody, and the whole crowd of the 100 were watching in suspended excitement. Even the infamous Bellamy Blake was watching too, and I have a horrible feeling he had done more than that to Wells.

"Let him go," I tell Wells, and our eyes meet. I don't know what he is thinking, and for so long I had always taken advantage of our affinity to one another. I wondered if I would ever feel the same way again.

Wells does as I ask, and the guy is thrown to the ground.

"You are so dead," the bloodied guy says, but Bellamy stops him.

I hadn't noticed how quick he was to intervene. We were lucky.

"That is enough. Murph that is enough," he tells the enraged Murphy.

I am still looking at Wells, and if I knew better I would say he was embarrassed that I caught him trying to take another person's life. _As if my father's life was not enough for him_ , I think.

"Octavia," Bellamy spots his sister, and she rushes up to hug him, "you made it safe."

"Yeah, not a scratch on me," Octavia Blake shares a look with me.

I wonder if she is going to say _how_ that came to be. It is the least she can do, after sending her infected hero into a forest of possible spear-wielding...monkeys...apes...could people have survived the radioactive apocalypse? I am not prepared to believe that yet.

I look at Bellamy and I wonder if he will ask about her, "where is the food?"

Apparently not. I had not even thought about the food. Not after what happened to Jordan. It was as if all my rational thoughts for survival went over and under that river as I sprinted away. I had ran like my life depended on it, even with Jasper still out there, and another shameful part of me thought of the fate of the sick girl. We had done them no justice by abandoning them.

"We didn't make it to Mt. Weather," Finn says for me. I cannot even think straight.

"What the hell happened out there?" Bellamy asks.

That was easy, "we were attacked!" He notices me and I flinch at his accusatory look, it reminded me so much of the girl's look. It was as if he thought we were incapable of taking care of ourselves. I begged to differ with that.

"Attacked? By what," now Wells is at my side, concerned. I don't know how to explain.

"Not what," Finn saves me once more, "who. Turns out, when the last man from Earth died on the Ark, he wasn't the last Grounder." So Finn believed it too.

"It's true," I decided, "Everything we thought we knew about the Ground is wrong. There are people here. Survivors. That is good news," I told them truthfully, "that means we will survive, the radiation won't kill us."

"Yeah, the bad news," Finn for once disagrees with me, "is that the Grounders will."

"Where is the kid with the Goggles," Wells says, "or that Guard girl?" I bite my lip, he wasn't going to like this.

"Nia was sent here by your father, the Chancellor?" Bellamy says surprised and I dare say a little suspicious, "I thought she wasn't a Cadet anymore. Why wasn't she with you guys," he notices for once, "Octavia?"

"She died protecting me," Octavia lies, and my mouth is left open, "she died a hero."

She looks at us and dares us to say differently.

I hate myself for going along with it, even if it sits wrong in my stomach, I know what will happen if we say the truth now. In front of everyone. It would seem like we left her… than we would lose the trust we had just gained.

"That's too bad," says a guy with a broken nose, "I was going to have fun slicing her neck, and shoving her tongue down her throat-"

"Roth that is enough-" says a taller guy next to him, dark hair and dark eyes.

"I was supposed to get my justice Paul, I wanted her head!"

My eyes widen. That must have been the reason she was worried about coming back. "Patience Roth," Paul continues, "Nia was our friend. Did she die quickly or slowly?" I am sickened by their fascination with her fake death.

"Mind your own damn business Paul," Bellamy tells him.

"Sorry Cadet Bellamy," Paul says back, "or was it Janitor Bellamy, I tend to get them mixed up."

There is already some bad blood between them, I can tell.

"Someone is still out there," I attempt to put a stop their death stares, "Jasper was hit, they took him," I look down and spot Wells naked writs. A wrist that should have, "where is your wristband?"

Wells nods to Bellamy, "Ask him? My eyebrows raised. _He wasn't saying…_

He couldn't mean there was _more_ people, "How many?"

Murphy said proudly, "Twenty -four and counting."

I could not believe this. I was gone one day, and everything goes to hell, "You idiots," I tell them, really feeling like one myself, "life support on the Ark is failing. That is why they brought us down here, they need to know the ground is survivable, and we need to help us fight whatever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you not just killing them," I look at the 100, "you are killing us."

Bellamy steps up next to me, "We are stronger than you think," his voice is far more relaxed than mine, even if what he is saying is crazy, "don't listen to her, she is part of the privileged."

I couldn't believe that he was still bringing that up, "if they come down she will have it good," Bellamy turns to crowd that has listened to him more than I would like to believe, "we can take care of ourselves. That wristband makes you a prisoners. They say they will take away your crimes, I say we are not criminals. We are fighters, survivors, the Grounders should worry about us," the crowd erupts in cheers. _That ship had sailed without us_ , I decided, _it was up to me, and the few I trusted now to save the Ark._

"What do we do now?" Finn is ready for whatever I say. I am at least thankful for that.

I remember the last time he had come to comfort me.

"We shouldn't have let that girl go," I say to Finn, "we need to go find them both."

Finn looks behind me.

"What about them."

Paul, Roth, and some girl are watching us.

They have been watching the way I am willing to go back out there, and that is when they step forward.

"We want to help you find your friend, Clarke Griffin," says Paul, "please let me be of service," he smiled, "I am Paul Slater," he points to his friends, "Jake Roth, and Rebecca Lee."

They look like a fierce group and it takes me a while to smile back at their arrogant faces.

"Don't worry, _privileged girl_ , we will protect you," Paul Slater says, winking and extending his muscled arm, "we Ark supporters have to stick out for one another. Remember who it is we are surviving for. Roth tell the girl who we are surviving for."

"For the Ark," he declares, "all for the Ark. _Right?_ "

Roth has bloodshot eyes, and I nod at him like I don't see the danger that lurks in them.

"Good," Paul sounds happier, "when do we start?"

For the first time, I know why Nia was so afraid of coming back.


	41. Chapter 41

**Nia POV**

 **Day 2- Captured**

"Jasper!"

When I saw him, I attempted to move towards him, but my tied legs and arms did not allow me to get far.

The humans dressed in gorilla fur had dragged me away from the forest and into a dried out grassy field, Jasper came with us, unconscious, wounded, bleeding from the front of his chest. It wasn't big wound, not like the ones we had seen in Health class with my people.

My people. _What a joke? I did not belong to the 100. They would see me dead..._

As our Grounder captors were pulling us, I watch as a knocked out Jasper doesn't even react when they drop him on his head. I think I heard a crack and that is when I fear for his life.

I screamed louder, "Jordan wake up!

"Borg wong," one told me and prodded his stick into my own wound. I hissed at the attacking captor and to my horror the savage did it back at me. I bet that meant _shut-up_ , in their language, or something far more vulgar. I do as I am told, but my eyes never leave Jasper Jordan. For all I know he is the only one still alive of the 100. These savages could easily take over the rest of us, and they possibly already did.

They had the upper hand down here on Earth, we are on their turf, so much for all human life being dead.

I had a feeling somewhere in the universe someone was shouting, Surprise! Look who got fooled! But I was not in the mood for that cruel irony.

The 100 would never be prepared to fight these Savages. A sick part of me is glad Slater and his bastards will die, but then I imagine all the wristbands going dead and what that will mean for my son's future, for Bellamy and his annoying ass sister, but mostly Bells and Caleb.

"He doesn't have a future," I whisper to myself and wipe my eyes.

 _I am a horrible mother, and I could not even fix it now._

The Earth Scavengers, as I started calling them were busy while I pitied myself.

They were digging around a burnt dead tree, there was three of them, and a depleted and ashy skinned Jasper looked like he was dying by the second. He was the first thing I saw as I awoke out of my own delirium. The infection was spreading, I could feel the change. My body was sweating cold chills now, my brain was foggier, and I could barely hear myself. I was focusing on staying calm, that is, until one of the Scavengers came forward and began tearing off Jasper's shirt.

"Don't touch him you beasts," I yelled. My own exhaustion had made me crankier and more foul mouthed, "I said don't touch him bastard!"

They don't like me screaming, "Iz borg wong," commanded the same Scavenger, prodding my wound harder.

I screamed this time, and was met with a blow to the temple, and then one to my cheek. The loud crack in my mouth, makes me whimper, and cower from my attacker. It is like I have never gotten a beating in my life because tears come rolling down my dirt stained cheeks. All the practice and studying I had done to survive and I had failed. It really made me regret ever trying to please my father, hoping for a future on Earth, or at least a future with Caleb. Hope had failed me.

The Scavengers are conversing now, there is an argument, and then something is decided.

I fail to notice when one comes up to me, "Don't scream," says one of the scavengers, this one is not wearing a gorilla hide, but his face is still covered. All I see is dark eyes, "you will only excite them."

His ability to speak English doesn't even faze me. I could care less, "Their behavior only proves my point," I spit out a tooth. I feel pain on my arm and that is when I notice him taking off my bandages, "didn't I say not to touch," I try to push him away, but he is stronger than me.

"I am helping," he whispers to me, "when they are busy," he nods to the others, "then I will help the other." The yellow-teethed one, the one that kept prodding me, still gives me looks from now and then. It isn't good looks.

"I am surrounded by enemies, I can do whatever I damn please."

"Behave yourself," he shakes me as if to stop my declaration and then pats on some green mush on my arm, giving me his advice, "You are going to die if you talk like that."

I don't say that I would prefer if I was. My feverish chills is making me light-headed and I know I will not last long in this world, "maybe," I tell him, "maybe I am already dead."

My healer doesn't comment on my delirious words. I don't blame him, but he works over me, even if I am a warm corpse. He does a well enough job. The pain from my arm and then my mouth is quickly receding after he placed a gel like substance on them both. By the end of his hour therapy and his hidden attempts at give me gulps of water, I am feeling a bit better. Enough that I am in fact thinking of my escape rather than my immediate death.

"What bit you?"

"You wouldn't believe me," I say and he grunts, nodding.

Urging me by measuring the bite, grunting again, "than tell me anyway."

"A black snake," I say, remembering, "some type of river snake that was as big as you," I look him over, he was tall, "maybe longer."

"Impossible," he says, "no one gets bit by a _Blackie_ and lives to tell the tale," he stands up.

I smile at him as he leaves me, "I lived."

He didn't hear me because he is too busy helping the others put sharpened spears inside the pit. They are trying to catch something, but I fear what they want is bigger than your average animal. They are gorilla hunters, I remember, they are probably used to catching dinosaurs or something. A cold sweat runs through my body, _what if, there are dinosaurs?_ Ludicrous. I laugh to myself, of course there is no dinosaurs. It has only been a hundred years. Besides I had not seen one and they hadn't resurrected them before the nuclear apocalypse, so I wasn't going to worry about it. Imagine trying to survive with those mean reptiles stalking your every move, that would be a crazy night, I laughed louder.

The scavengers looked at me like I am crazy. They resume their work but now they are whispering. The drugged a massive pit, enough to fit eight men in.

I watch as my healer goes to Jasper and does the same healing treatment for his chest, and then as soon as he is done the Scavengers take him.

"What are you guys doing?" They ignore me as they bring Jasper around the pit and then I see them bring rope.

"What are they doing," I ask my healer, but he is already lifting me and taking me away, "are they going to kill him?"

"Hush," he says to me, "no harm will come to your friend. It is not his time."

"When will be his time?"

My healer's dark eyes connect with my own, "I cannot say."

"At least give me your name," I say to him as he leaves me in some bushes. He had given me something to drink and now I know it was drugged. I am getting far more sleepier by the moment, "give me your name?.

"Lincoln," he mutters to before he leaves.

I lean my head back on the tree, look up at the sky, and say, "Lincoln."

At least I knew the name of the man that had spared my life and granted me my brief freedom. Sleep starts invading my mind, and I do not fight it.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is being chased into the forest by dinosaurs and giant decapitated gorillas. My feverish nightmares were not getting better, and I only had myself to blame. Oh stars help me, help us. Somewhere up there was my little boy, and if we all died, he would be an orphan. He could live with an robotic step-mother, surrounded by vengeful Guards, anyone could hurt him, and I would never be there to stop it.

That thought gave me courage for what would come next.

"I am coming Caleb."


	42. Chapter 42

**Clarke POV**

 **Day 2- Mission Rescue Jasper (and Nia)**

"Did you lie to me Griffin?"

"What?"

Bellamy had caught me off guard, "did Octavia lie to me too?"

"Well, I, who, I'm confused?" I played the fool, even when I had been looking for him.

The 100 camp had begun to grow around the drop ship, and after a little bird (Wells) told me Bellamy had a gun, the only gun on Earth. That would come handy for where we were going. That was the one thing I knew the Grounders had no hopes against. Modern Warfare.

"Nia, Nia Vega," Bellamy said outright, he was almost as tall as Wells, but in no way were they the same. Bellamy struck me as a guy that would not take orders from anyone. It was a surprise he lived as long as he did on the Ark, "is she still alive? She is, isn't she?"

I didn't know what to say to that, "I don't know what you mean-"

"Don't try," Octavia got off the stump she was sitting on, "he already knows everything."

I can see the similarity between her and her brother. Their dark skin, tanned skin, but there eyes are different. Octavia's are an envious green I would have killed to draw, but Bellamy's was darker, "I told him everything," Octavia explains, egging me on as if I was the one that lied, "don't hold back now."

"Why did you guys lie about her?" Bellamy looked at me like I was a horrible person.

A childish part of myself wanted to blame Octavia, but I was not that type of person, "She left us, she was out of it, and she just ran away," I confessed coldly, feeling far better when I did tell him the truth. That did not mean I was trying to defend what we did, "that is why we are going out there," I reasoned with him, "to save Jasper and Nia, so are you going to judge me or are you coming with me?"

"Yeah," Bellamy said and looked to Octavia, "if I go then you would want my gun, am I right?" His eyes look to Wells, as he showed his gun that hung between his jeans and his muscled abdomen, "Chancellor Earth keeps you well informed doesn't he?"

I ignore the cruel name calling, because I will not lower myself to Wells and Bellamy's childish feud, "I think you should come with us," I say to him, more assured now, "if you want them," I indicated the 100, "to follow you, then you will join me. Only one of us looks afraid right now," I didn't have to spell it out for him, and Bellamy was quick.

"You're right Griffin," he turned to his sister, stopping Octavia from coming on another adventure, "you are staying here."

Octavia's voice is rich with attitude, "What?!"

"You heard me. Stay put," Bellamy motioned for Murphy, "you can come."

Octavia would not give up, "You can't leave me here, that is so unfair!"

"Is it fair what you did to Nia? Leaving her out there?"

Octavia didn't have an answer to her brother, "good, Murph with me, Atom make sure to watch her," Octavia made it clear she didn't need a babysitter, "she doesn't leave, and no one touches her, got it?" Bellamy's crony did as he was told.

"How about us," Paul Slater's voice rose from behind, "Me and my friends want to join in on this little search and rescue."

"Thank you," I said while Bellamy said, "you are not invited."

"Well," I pointed out to Bellamy, "I did invite them, the more eyes the better, right?"

As we were walking, Wells was pushed aside by a persistent Bellamy, "hey hold up, what are you thinking Princess? We can't trust Paul... did you hear what Roth said about Nia, we can't have that while we are trying to get her back."

"I am thinking," I said so only he could hear, "if you want to get the dangerous ex-Guards out of our hair, and survive the possibility of Grounders, than let the criminals be criminals, maybe a Grounder will get a lucky shot."

Bellamy surprised me by saying, "I hope we don't regret this."

"Don't say that," I said walking faster down the path we once took, "please don't say that."

"What a brave Princess," Bellamy called after me.

"Why don't you find your own nickname Bellamy," I turn around to see, none other than,

"Finn!" I smile, "you made it."

"You call this a search party?" The confident Finn eyed Bellamy, and then the three new faces in the back.

Paul Slater nodded his head and brandished his self-made knife, his crew had their own, and I had a ingrained instinct that they weren't going to pick their teeth with it. Their weapons looked like it was made from the Ark metal debris, and I hoped that was all they tampered with.

Finn eyed them and kept doing so, "we should spread out, cover more distance. Clarke with me," I followed him.

"Better late than never," I was happy to see him.

"I would say," Finn retorted looking back over his shoulder, and missing my first real smile back on Earth, "Who invited the entire Guard?"

"That would be me," my smile dropped at the mention of Slater and his team of ex-Guards.

"Nice going Princess," Finn whispers as we go on, he is just as bad as Bellamy, honestly, but he still continues, "now we have to watch our backs as well as our fronts."

"Shut-up Spacewalker," I push him and he laughs.


	43. Chapter 43

**Nia POV**

 **Day 2- Skaikru**

"Wake up, we have company," says the warrior Lincoln.

"Who cares," I look up at him, giving him my stink eye. The Grounder decided to talk to me _now_ , when I was just getting my shut-eye. It makes me chuckle, "I can't believe you made me believe you couldn't speak my language-"

"Silence, skiakru!" He commands of me and I listen.

There is something coming our way, and that is when I hear it. The shuffling of elephant feet through the foliage and the louder mutterings of… _Bellamy_. I spot him. Sweating. Wearing the same clothes from before, his hair wet against his forehead, he hikes down the stream before us. He isn't alone, a group of the 100 is with him, and my heart picks up at the familiar sound of his voice as he speaks to Clarke.

I think, _I can do this_ , and that is when I know what this is.

He had come to find and rescue me, and he said he wasn't my knight in shining armor. _The bastard finally came, my handsome bastard!_ I can't help my smile from growing. Lincoln doesn't waste time as he ties a sweaty rag around my mouth, and puts a finger to his lips. I don't want to know where the sweat was from.

He doesn't stop there and he finishes tying my legs and then my hands.

My bondage ass is at his disposal, but Lincoln doesn't gloat over it. I am at least thankful for that.

"Hey Bellamy, Hey!" Someone yells loudly, if they were trying to be quiet, they were doing a horrible job, "Hey, how do we know if this is the right way?"

Bellamy's arrogant voice is even louder, "We don't know the right way, Spacewalker thinks he is a tracker, so we are following him for now."

"He has fourth year earth tracking skills," Wells is here too, putting in his input, "he knows what he is doing." I sigh, this was not good. I lean up and am glad that the swelling and feverish symptoms of the infection have begun to fade. That was better news than my people coming to find me.

"You guys want to keep it down, or do you want a target on your back," Finn yells at them, and that makes Lincoln chuckles.

The Grounder looks down at me, "your friends are going to be Blackie food skiakru," he whispers to me and I growl at him. He has no idea how much I agree with him, but my angry stares are enough for him to remind me once more to keep quiet.

I can see them more clearly, coming through the foliage.

They were following a shallow river to where it would lead to the field Jasper had been left in. A sick part of me wanted them to find me first so I could warn them to go back without him. I didn't want to find out what they had done to the other captured _skaikru._ I didn't want to vomit and lose my regaining strength. I am deadly still, and Lincoln doesn't seem to be worried. He has two knifes on his hip, a bow on his back, and a hostage. I hated being used as leverage, but that was the reality of the situation.

 _A hostage_ , Lincoln believed me to be, _well I was more than he could handle. Good thing he didn't know that yet._

"We are running out of time Janitor Blake," a voice calls from the back, "when are you going to let us lead," and my eyes widen.

Great, it's just my luck, Paul joined the rescue team...and not just him, of course Becca and Roth trail behind him, battle hardened, aware, and the predators of the group. _God,_ how I hated Paul so much for not giving me a break. I remembered when we were younger, during Cadet suicide week Paul had made a habit of tripping, punching, and pinching the living hell out of me, and found it funny when I beat the living shit out of him. If our commanding officers would not have separated us during our worst fights I might have killed him and been sent to Juvenile Lockup sooner rather than later.

Finn ducks down near the water to look at the stones there, "I think I got something."

He saw something, and Clarke follows, bending down near him. For a moment their eyes meet, and that is when I hear it.

"WAAaaaahhh," it sounds like an animal, but I know it couldn't be. Not this close, not after all of the activity in the clearing, preparing the ground with a trap, and the possibility of deadly Earth Scavengers waiting for the rescue team. It could only be, Jasper. It was Jasper.

"What the hell is that," says one of the 100.

"Now would be a good time to take out that gun," Clarke says, and I watch with wide eyes as Bellamy takes a gun out of his back pocket. My eyes are like saucers as they walk by. I have to get that gun, if I did, then I could take out all the Cadet cronies. I had to get that gun.

"When are we going to take them out," Becca whines watching the leading group run into the clearing.

"When we find Nia," Paul said quickly, "and not a moment sooner."

"Good," Roth agrees with him, "I can't wait for my knife to sink into her skull," Becca and Paul sigh at his antics.

"Sometimes you can be a real dick Roth," Paul said following the other group.

"What?" Roth made a face at Becca that smiled and slapped him on the back, "come on _dick_ , we have some work to do."

I growled as they followed an unknowing Bellamy and the two people I had failed to protect. There is now screaming coming from the clearing, but my attention is on Lincoln.

He feels my stare, "So, I am guessing you are Nia," Lincoln mutters to me, and I smile back at him, so he is fast one.

I shrug in my loose ropes and he turns away for a second.

A second is all I need. My rope bound hands are already freed, and so I hit him over the head with a large rock. My arm aches from using and lifting crude weapon, but I do not let it get to me. My hit sends the Scavenger to the ground unconscious, and I make quick use of taking the remaining knife at his hip, his bow, and the pack of supplies on his back. I don't have very long to look through it, and instead I look over to where the clearing is, there is voices, but no more screaming or wailing. It is time for me to join them.

Lincoln awakes, is groaning, trying to stand, and I don't feel the need to kill him, so I kick him in his side and he groans louder in pain, rolling on his side, not standing. He can't follow me now.

"It's nothing personal Lincoln," I say to him, "thank you for this."

I run off in the direction of the field.

 _'"A stupid decision"_ , now that I was thinking clearly, but I was too late to change direction from the voices of the rescue squadron.

I come into the clearing, hearing them talking about Jasper, "Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait," Wells says up to a shirtless but healing Jasper. It would appear that Lincoln had saved Jasper Jordan's life, but only to be used as bait for them to come.

"So that they could catch you!" I say aloud and they turn to me.

"Nia, you're alive!" Bellamy was the first to say, his whole demeanor changes, and so does mine, but Paul's recognition steals my attention, "Nia-uh," his voice is filled with much more excitement and recognition, it is nauseating.

I drop Lincoln's pack on the ground, and the bow follows it.

I had never used a bow in my life, so I was not going to start now.

This had been coming a long time.

"So she isn't dead," Roth says gritting his teeth at me, "Good, more for me," he sprints across the field, not waiting for my invitation, and Clarke is yelling to Bellamy to shoot.

Bells would be quick enough, but that was no problem to me. I didn't need to be quicker. I needed to be accurate. I

held my knifes in my right hand and stared at Roth's incoming body. He was going to reach me in, 7, 6, I raised the two knifes, aiming at Roth's head, 5,4. Bellamy gun shot missed, 3. I released the knifes and it soared through the air going straight for his forehead, 2, 1. Roth still hit me with everything he got, and I didn't have to do much but stare at him.

He was grinning, there was no knife sticking out of head, and his own crude knife was poised to enter my own.

Instead I searched for Roth's belly and applied pressure at the one knife that had met it's mark.

"Fuck!"

"Got you," I had thrown both of Lincoln's knives, knowing Roth would duck and like the fool he thought me to be, I had surprised him by twisting the knife that was in his gut and gutting him like a proper cow, "take that asshole!"

Roth's warm guts spilled out and then I pulled it up and sliced through his chest, his lungs released. Lincoln's knife was very sharp. I think I am going to keep it.

Roth's pouring thick blood bathed over me and I pushed his spazzing body off.

That dead fucker had it coming, "nice to see you too Paul," I huffed, standing, and whimpering past my strained right leg and the growing feeling of being dizzy on my feet. Roth's hit had hurt me far more than I had calculated and now I would live with the pain.

"Don't move Paul or I will shoot," Bellamy had his gun aimed on Paul's head and an enraged and only remaining henchwoman, Becca stared at Bellamy like he was going to be the next to die.

"Wow, calm down Bellamy," Paul said lifting his hands, "that is Roth's stupid ass trying to kill her. I don't want to kill anyone, right Becca? That was Roth's crazy idea, not mine."

"That's right," Becca said too, backing him and putting up her hands also, "Jake was always a loose cannon, a crazy one."

Paul turns to me again, the distance still too close, "See, we can get along, right Nia," I winced as I leaned down, straining my leg, and pulled out my bloody knife from Roth and went to retrieve the one that had flew across the way. Bellamy put his gun away and Jaha Junior stood next to my old lover. The Chancellor's son began nodding to me and I did the same back to him. At least Jaha Junior and Clarke had survived.

"Come on guys, help me," Finn and some guy were climbing the tree and taking Jasper off. I wanted to tell them not to bother, but Paul stole my attention, because out of them all, he was still the most dangerous.

My former comrade was aware of my glares, "I knew you weren't dead Nia, you wouldn't let something stupid kill you," he says it like it fixed the shit that he did to me, "Why don't we start off fresh. I mean you no harm," he gestured to the nonexistent thing between us, "you mean me no harm. What do you say Nia? Let's start fresh."

 _He couldn't be serious?_ If it wasn't for the sly smile Becca had on her lips than I could have fallen for his little act.

I would show him fresh, "Sure, no harm, no foul right? I can sleep better knowing you will always be fresh," I say looking at the fashioned knife at his hip, "to stab me in the back when I am the least ready."

"I would never-" Paul looked outraged.

That was not going to work this time.

"Yeah you would," I said looking at a gun weilding Bellamy, "you can shoot them now."

"Hey Nia," says Finn, "stop talking."

I feel the hairs on my back stand, and Clarke's eyes widen, "Nia, don't move," as everyone else does what she says, freezing and staring at something behind me, their eyes wide and frightened.

"Turn around slowly," Bellamy tells me, motioning me to turn, and I do the opposite and flip around in time to see a black mass running at me.

"Shoot it, shoot it," Clarke tells Bellamy, "your gun," and yet there is still no gun shot.

While I had been fighting and bickering like a harpy something far more primitive and lethal had snuck up on us, and the thing was jumping right at me.

For a moment I had forgotten myself, my surroundings, and my mind worked in overdrive to catch up. I ducked down as far as I could so it could leap at and over me. I grinned as I rolled out of the way, safe from it's claws, coming up at a crouch. That was too close, I could feel blood trickle down my scalp where it's claws had grazed me. I should be in shock, but I am not. This isn't my first time on the hunt.

"Jaguar," I hissed at the muscled feline.

It reveals its teeth at me, and then the gunshot goes off. Whoever it is shooting, they miss the target terribly.

The hungry beast begins to run around in the thick green brush and Wells, the stupid one that had stolen the gun, was desperately aiming at nothing to find where it had went. So far he was not sure, and neither was I. I limped over to get closer to Bellamy, my knife at the ready. If that thing wanted to, it could pick us off like flies. It was faster, and I was weak at the moment. Weak enough to become jaguar chow.

"Bellamy!"

"I got you," we turn our backs to one another. Waiting for the beast to attack.

It was silent as I felt Bellamy's back against mine, I fought the need to reach out to him, make sure he wasn't some hallucination, and still there was no sound in all the field, and all we can hear now is our breathing.

It is like providence that my back finally touches' Bellamy's, and our hands hold one another. At least I could rely on someone to watch it this time.

The jaguar soars through the air. Closer than I thought it could get, and roars like rocket as it comes at Bellamy.

 _BOOM_.

A gunshot rings in my ears and the beast is dead.

Bellamy is still standing next to me, my hand still in his.

"Oh god," I give a tired sigh, we had made it.

"Now she sees you," Bellamy says to Wells and despite my confusion I hear a sound that I know all too well. Click. Click. Click. _Oh hell._

"Your gun's empty," I say to Wells, he drops it to the ground. It was useless now.

I know what that means. Anarchy. There was nothing to control the situation without that gun. People needed guns. I frowned and faced my last two enemies, "don't think that means anything Paul Slater," I accuse him "you still are going to pay for what you did." I say as I grit my teeth at them.

"I highly doubt that," Rebecca snarls back.

I tighten my grip on knife, and prepare for the final showdown.


	44. Chapter 44

Paul has the audacity to look surprised, "Me," he grins, crossing his chest with his arms, playing the reasonable one, "What you are going to do to me Nia?"

I was still debating.

Debating on the most satisfying way of killing him.

"Don't leave me hanging," he cons me into speaking my murderous mind, he looks at the bystanders of my soon to be murder, especially at the silent and now gun-less Bellamy, he offers, "you want to stab me with your little knives?"

Now was not the time to belittle me, "I will show you how little they are," I explain, "up close."

Rebecca brings her own knife forward, a hand goes in front of her, "no harm Becca," Paul smiles his infuriating smug ass grin, "be careful Nia, you _really_ scaring me."

"We haven't even got to the good part," I can't help but say.

"That's enough," Clarke comes between us, "What happened on the Ark stays on the Ark. We came here to save Nia and Jasper and that is what we did. We survived the Grounders and then a Jaguar. I don't know about you," she came up to me and took one of my knives, and walked to Paul, "but I think that means we can trust each other," she put the knife in Paul's hand and cemented my hate for her, "and let bygones be bygones."

"Yes Chancellor Earth," a guy jumped off the tree, "taking charge already. What should we do next, would you like us to carry your spoils as well Chancellor Earth."

"That is enough Murphy," Finn said walking with Clarke, ever the peace-maker, "Wells help me with Jasper," he said and Jaha Junior did as he was told. I wondered if he did the same when I asked him stop fighting. If the red welts and scratches on Well's face and cheeks was evidence of what happened during my absence than I knew that he had not followed my orders. I was ready to go offer the Chancellor's son, when a hand caught mine.

"Nia," Bellamy pulls me back while the other two follow the leaders, "you need to calm down Nia."

That was the least of my problems, "He almost got to me," Paul tipped his newly acquired knife and hugged Becca that stared at a dead Roth as they left the field. If they were upset about their fallen friend, they didn't show it, "I should killed him when I had the chance. Fucken Wells, he was so stupid to steal the gun like that, we could have ended things here and now."

"Not in front of Clarke and Wells," he whispered just between the two of us, and for once I remembered that the privileged couple were my ticket for freedom, how easily I forgot that fact, "Hey," he tips my chin up, "Are you fine?"

"I can't think-"

"Hey, pay attention Nia," I tear my eyes away from Paul, Bellamy's brown eyes have not changed, I was so grateful at least that had stayed the same.

"What is it?"

"Octavia said you saved her," I roll my eyes, and shake my head, "she never told me how."

"It was nothing Bellamy."

"You saved my sister, that means everything," Bellamy notices the wound on my arm, moves the bandages, "are you feeling okay," he repeats. I looked up at Bellamy and for once I didn't feel like I needed to either protect or kill someone.

"I am not fine," I lean away from his hand, "honestly I feel okay, but when are we going to deal with Paul? I don't trust him Bellamy. I don't trust him around us, Octavia, hell he would kill Clarke too if he had the chance," I am so pissed, "why the hell would she side with him."

"She doesn't know," he muttered, picking at my forehead, I leaned forward, letting his touch distract me, it was a reminder that I could feel something other than pain, "she doesn't know how dangerous he is, damn that jaguar got you good."

"I don't kill easy," I tease him, "if you had been paying attention to holding your gun this wouldn't have happened. You have to admit it though, Wells has a horrible aim, but he pulled through at the last second."

"You can say that again," Bellamy chuckles.

It is infectious, I bit my lip, "Yeah," I say and shuffle my feet.

I should be nicer to Clarke and Wells, maybe even ask Bellamy's opinion of what our next step should be, but I can't, not with Roth's blood in my fingernails.

"We should follow Finn and Wells, keep an eye on Paul," it looks like he agrees with me, I want to tell him more, but his nameless friend joins us. I remember him from Wells first fight. I was going to kick this guy in the face the last time I met him.

I ignore him, Bellamy and I begin to follow the group that is crossing the stream back to camp, "How is Octavia? Did she get herself into more trouble?"

"She's alive, I grounded her for leaving you," Bellamy says, and I sigh to myself. At least _his_ special person was going to survive this hellish earth, "I have one of my guy's watching her now."

"Good," I say, "your sister is a pain the ass," I confess and he doesn't like it. Too bad.

"Hey Nia," said the new face, the one that had called out Clarke as Chancellor Earth, "the names Murphy, but if you want, I can help you with your Guard problem," he nodded at Paul and Becca, and then switched to Clarke, "if you help me with my little problem."

I did a double take, not believing what I just heard, "You want me to kill Clarke?"

"No, not kill her," Murphy says, chuckling like he had never thought of it, Bellamy gives me a look.

I have to agree with that as we come up to the Jaguar, even as Murphy the new guy is talking about finding a peaceful place here on Earth, he was not very convincing, and I wondered if he had any experience with it. Killing people I mean.

"Clarke is our very own Princess," Murphy tells me like I don't already know, "but if it must come to that. I am sure we can reach an agreement." I look to Bellamy and it looks like he is interested in what I have to say.

I think my options over. Clarke was not my problem, and I didn't need people to help me with mine. I winced at my own arrogance. That attitude problem was the same one that had got me in this mess in the first place.

I shook my head, "no, I am not going to kill your Princess."

"Fine," Murphy drops it, "I just need her to take off her wristband."

His eyes go a little too casually to my own wristband, settling on a look of determination, _oh boy_ , "you know, I can help you with taking yours off, it doesn't even hurt-" his hand tries wraps around my wristband.

"Hands off Murph," Bellamy says pushing the guy away, "if you don't want to lose them."

It surprises me how quick Bells knew I was going to take this guy down, "Why don't you help me carry our food," he says indicating to the Jaguar, "you wanna help, Nia? Or we guys will take care of it," Blake says indicating to the heavy load. I can still feel the radiating pain up my leg, and think of a better idea.

"I don't feel too hot," I indicate to my head.

The scratch was little more than that, and I was in no mood to lug a jaguar like a caveman back to camp, "I think I will walk it off, see if I can help you guys later," I decide for myself and walk ahead trying to hide my limp.

I am not willing to push myself to give a helping hand, because unlike Bellamy and Murphy, _I have to save my energy._

There was going to be hell to pay,

for the the day Paul and his cronies decided to betray me, and stole the life I was meant to live.


	45. Chapter 45

**Nia POV**

 **Day 2- Night  
**

We get back to camp, and I don't get five minutes before the enemy gets me alone.

Paul opens the flap of the drop ship, cocking his head around the empty base floor, save me, sitting with my injured leg, "Bellamy left you here all alone?"

"He is coming back," I say, hearing the people outside feeding on the Jaguar that was killed, Bellamy the King of it all, enjoying the fame, and while I, the cripple, stayed where it was no longer safe.

"I don't see him coming," Paul says, getting closer to me.

Someone walks in right behind him, "Nia? What are you doing," it is Clarke that finds Paul and I in a stare-off.

Thank god, someone was watching out for me. I refused to drop eye-contact or speak first, I hate being the weak one, the one in need. I blamed it on my fat pride.

Paul was going to have to man up and cut the heavy silence, but he was enjoying my irritation too much to end it. _Bastard._

"Are you guys okay," Finn comes right behind Clarke, whom is followed by a hovering Wells, "you guys?"

They were obviously here to put to bed a sick Jasper, and instead they had chanced a rare and lethal sighting of Paul and I; morons ready to play a game of who is the better killer.

As for Paul, he didn't break eye contact with me.

His brown eyes were nothing like Bellamy's warm ones. Paul's eyes were shark eyes, dark and cold, "You don't mind Clarke dear, if we take this part of the drop ship," Paul asked ever so nicely, "I want some privacy," he pointed between us, "we will get nothing done with Bellamy and his little minions huffing and puffing. I would have to fight them off just to get a word in, right Nia? We are just talking?"

He fiddles with the knife in his back pocket, and his eyes leave me for once back to Clarke, "we need to settle our feud Clarke, you understand?"

It is now up to these people to help me.

Clarke meets my eyes.

I betray nothing, not the fear of dying, nor the excitement of finally getting my chance at Paul.

My stoic face will not help me in the long run.

"Sure," Clarke says, "Come on guys, give them their space."

I calmly watch as they struggle to lift Jasper to the top layer of the drop ship, sort of like a second floor, and far enough away from me to be no help whatsoever.

I bitterly mulled over, _why did they do as Paul said? Why didn't they help me? Why are they trusting him?_ In that moment, they had lost my wavering loyalty. Clarke and Wells would get no protection from me, barbecue their actions had screamed that I was not their ally, I was not under their protection, and I thought, _screw it, they can die for all I care._

Once they close the hatch, we are alone, and Paul stands up.

Paul's height gives him what he wants, "I was afraid we weren't going to speak with one another," he says leaning over me, "what with Bellamy playing your knight in shining armor, Roth's blood-lust, and of course you," he says, "being a paranoid bitch about everything."

I bait him, "I wonder why?"

"Don't wonder too hard," he says kicking his shoe into the ground, "you might remember all those _lessons_ your father taught you."

He bends down and attempts to steal my knife.

There is little time to think as I reach for it, getting there first, but he pushes me back with the bottom of his shoe, "Don't fight Nia." Paul grabs it and tosses it as far away as he can. The rest of Lincoln's things go next. He doesn't look the least bit worried now. I am royally screwed, "you are not going to win this time," he states the obvious, "so you can just take it easy."

I grit my teeth at him.

"I guess that wasn't so hard," he pats his own knife against my head and I swipe it away.

It's no use, but I refuse to let him see or hear my frustration.

He doesn't get a word out of me, "Why do you feel the need to ignore me," Paul said in his defense, "I had nothing but respect and admiration for you Nia. Why did you hide it from me? Why did you go to Kelvin?" He shook his head, "why didn't you come to-"

"To you?" I couldn't understand why he would ever suggest that, "You know why. I would trust Kelvin or Bellamy on their worst day over you Paul," I say and it looks like he hates the truth, "you never cared about me, only about what associating with me meant. My father on the Council," I shook my head, "I was the best in my class," I hated that stupid lie, "your fat with bullshit you know that Paul. If my death meant your promotion, you would have taken it."

He scoffs at my assumption, "What the fuck is wrong with that?"

There was the beast I remembered, "You would have done the same," Paul said to me, tipping his head to the side, "you would have done the very same thing to me," he said, justifying his coldness, "don't lie," he smirked, "I will know."

I stare at him, longer than I should, "what if I said no?"

I wondered where I was going with this, and knew there was a reason that I chose Paul as my second. I had just forgot it, I continued,"What if I said that I thought of you closer than a brother? That you meant something to me," I lick my lips, "That I wished with all my heart to tell you about what my father did to me, what he made me do to him?" I watched his face fall apart, and gradually come back together into something harder, "Do you want to know what he made me do? That he made me pretend to like it? It was hell, and I wanted you there to make it go away."

He shakes his head, "I don't believe you."

"You shouldn't," I take a deep breath, glad to have finished that little torture act, "it would be lie."

"I knew it," Paul smirked, pulling on his dark hair, "you are just as fucked up as I am."

"No," I disagreed.

It looked like he didn't believe me.

I looked up at him, really looked, "I am worse."

This time he didn't look troubled, he grins again, humored, "I can believe that."

"Is that why you set me up," I remembered, "when I wanted Bellamy, even when he didn't want anything to do with me," how stupid I was back then, I was worse now, especially now, "When you killed Kelvin and Selena, is that what you thought of me? That I was a failure to you."

"I was thinking," Paul said, "I was thinking that you chose him over me, damn anyone over me. I couldn't live with you doing that to me. That someone, that someone should have been me."

"Kelvin was not weak," I defend him, "he was a good friend, not the greatest boyfriend, but he I loved him once," I rub it in.

Paul laughed, "you can't love Nia," he says, "we both know that."

"It was worth a try," I say and for once I forgot how easy it was to speak to Paul. It was like he could see into my mind and push past all the civility and silliness and really see what I was capable of. It is intoxicating when people believe you are powerful. It fueled one's ego, but I didn't need that anymore. I didn't need it from someone that would see me dead, and now without the Council, the cameras, or the rules was going to do just that.

"I want you to know," Paul says, sighing loudly, "if you were better," he nodded to my legs, "physically I mean, I would threatened you pubically, called for a rematch, asked for a fair fight," he tips the knife in my direction, "but seeing as you went and fucked yourself up, got Bellamy wrapped around your finger, I have to do this all sneaky like. Pathetic," he looks disgusted and I don't blame him. It was pathetic.

"Just do it quick Paul," I say, "I don't want to be more crippled than I already am." I can't believe I am this relaxed.

In my devastation I look around for anything that will help me. There is no saving grace in my time of need. That was not the way my reality went. Till the day I die, I knew my life was going to be rough. I knew that my accomplishments and my most devastating defeats would lead to only one place. Here.

"Don't get my face," I decide.

"Of course not Nia," his smile returns, this one wider than all the others, "lean back and relax. Let me take care of you," I lean back and groan at the lousy pun. I hated Paul and all the stupid time I had wasted with him.

The flap was open, opened by a hand, my eyes latch onto someone that comes through, and a distracted Paul doesn't notice that we have company.

I let my arms cradle the back of my head. _By the heavens, thank every star above._

Caleb must have sent a sweet little prayer for me, and for an instant I miss him so greatly. I was so ready to just give up, and give into my own pity.

"Give Kelvin my regards," Paul dips the knife toward my chest.

My eyes meet with brown ones and I smile wider at him.

Bellamy was very good at keeping quiet, and that he was surprising me more each day on Earth.

I was not going to stop him when he was ahead. I hoped Becca was not as attached to her man, as I was beginning to feel for Bellamy, because Paul was going to get seriously fucked.

I hold the knife before he lowers it to my chest, and make my killer pause, "Paul," I say sweetly, "you talk way too much."

Bellamy hits him over the head and some of his guys take him down too, there is no sweetness in his voice, "you talk _way_ too much Paul. Get him and tie him up outside."

They drag his unconscious ass out and I clap my hands in happiness. That was just perfect.

I am ready to thank Bellamy when he says, "I should say the same for you," I see Bellamy's true expression for the first time. He is past angry, he is furious, "how can you be so stupid?"

I lean up, unprepared for his upset attitude, "Bellmay?"

"Save it! Take him guys, tie him up, and we will pass judgment in the morning," no rules my ass, _we can do whatever the hell we want?_ Yeah right, I knew that was not going to last long.

"What did I do wrong?"

He reached down to help me up, he had put me in the drop ship when we returned, and once again I am lifted in the air.

Bellamy made quick work of taking me out of there, he was hurting my leg.

"Bellamy! Slow down!"

"You shut-up for once," he says, huffing like I weigh as much as an elephant, "don't say a word."

I stare at him as if his words were a slap to my face. He had never talked to me like that. I had never given him reason to, and I would remember this moment when he really wanted to talk. People stare at us as we head into the encampment. Make-shift tents are built around the drop-ship and this is my first time actually going into the cluster of tent housing. I don't know where we are going.

Bellamy knows exactly where he is going, weaving through the place, not having a problem.

He dumps me on the ground as we make it to his tent.

As I rub my sore leg, I know this is not going to end well.


	46. Chapter 46

**NIA POV**

 **Day 3- Daybreak**

I was sleeping so peacefully when, "Shut-up, shut that guy up already!"

"Why is he screaming? Can't he just die already!"

"Just SHUT-UP!" It was early morning, I could feel it. I just didn't understand why people felt the need to make such a racket.

Someone screams again, and I turn over on my side snuggling deeper into my sleeping bag and into a furnace.

The heat smells different than a fire would. It's soft too and I brush my lips against it, it's skin, my eyes flash open to see chest, muscles, and arms around me. Bellamy.

He is wearing just a wife beater, my jeaned legs come up against some sort of jeans too, and so my heart calms down a bit. He must have joined me in the sleeping bag. I didn't blame him because it was cold as shit last night. We had both complained about the cold night after we finished our argument over me _never_ being alone with Paul for the rest of my existence, and Bellamy _never_ again raising his voice at me.

This was a very nice compromise for a cold night.

I didn't argue with him there, but that didn't mean Bellamy was going to forgive me for, _being so stupid_ , as he put it.

The memory of him yelling at me last night made me freeze up. I had vowed to punch him the next time I saw him. I look up at his face. It doesn't look so critical as it does when he is awake. For a moment I can see how Bellamy must have looked like as a child, and I wonder how much it must have hurt for his mother to leave him. I watch as his eyes begin to flicker behind his eyelids and the signs are pointing to him waking up any moment now. I don't move. If I do, I might wake him, and for once I don't want that.

One, I am so warm I could just die. Two, the pain in leg seems to have waned to a minimal pulse since Clarke came last night to give me some pain medication. Three, I finally get to see Bellamy's sleeping face like I did the first night I had taken him to my room, watching him sleep next to me before Kelvin had died, before his mother died, before I had his son.

I missed this, before he never stayed long enough for me to watch him sleep and so I did so now.

I felt no shame counting the constellation of freckles on his cheeks or the way his lush brown hair felt good against my fingertips. He thankfully didn't snore but instead was doing this blowing thing with his mouth, I got closer, and then regretted it. His mouth smelled horrible. I turned back over and his arms hugged me even harder. If he wasn't sleeping I was so going to kill him. My aggravated eyes find a person smiling at me, watching Bellamy and I sleep.

"Octavia," I whisper to her, already aggravated.

"Good morning beautiful," she says, not acting like this is a ' _good morning'_ at all, "having fun with my brother."

"How long have you been there?"

"Don't mind me, I am minding my own _goddamn business_ remember," she growls at me angry at me telling her off last night, I could blame it on the pain, but I honestly still was pissed about her leaving me after I saved her.

In a hushed tone, I reprimand her, "why don't you get the hell out of her Octavia?"

"Whatever," she argues right back, so fucken loud, "sure seems like my brother gets to fuck around with whoever he wants," that makes my blood boil, "you guys are such assholes," she tells me off, "I am so pissed that you guys didn't take me."

I groan into my hands, Bellamy still is sleeping, _UN-fuckenbelievable!_ I can't believe I have to deal with her, the only one this morning that had to. I look around and see we are in an enormous tent, fit for a King, and it can only be Bellamy's' tent. Fantastic, now I will be branded his whore. _I can't think of a better promotion from psycho Guard killer._

"I know," I play along, "He's a real snuggler," I say and ram my elbow into Bellamy's stomach.

He groans and I am released.

Bellamy is not as quiet as as Octavia and I, "what the fuck Nia!"

"That's for yelling at me last night," I tear the warm covers from him, and force him to feel the biting cold, "and this is for sleeping next to me." It reveals that his leg was not the only thing poking me last night. I smile at the _bulging_ evidence. He pulls the covers back quickly and is irritated beyond belief, "what the fuck was that for?"

"You already know, never get in my bed!"

"Your bed?" Now Bellamy is awake enough to get pissed, "this was my bed way before-"

"Can you guys be quiet please," says a raven-haired girl that I had at first mistaken for pillows, to my horror another girl picks her head up, her hair is red and she is only wearing a bra, "is Bellamy up! Oh I want to give him a kiss!"

It takes me a moment to process, but those two girls, girls in bras, were in our-wait- his bed when I was sleeping _right next_ to him. WHAT THE HELL! _When did they sneak on in? Did Bellamy invite them like this was some type of four-some? Who the hell did they think they are!? SLUTS!_

My heart does this funny thing, _I am a slut too_ , and like lightening I am putting on my jacket, my boots, and getting the fuck out of there.

Octavia follows me and for the life of me I don't know why.

"Ridiculous," I say to myself, "fucken ridiculous."

"Yeah," Octavia says, "you are ridiculous."

I am wiping my face in the river water, drinking only to spit it out, the cold woke me, "How could I believe he had changed, that he brought me to his tent to get nothing out of it, stupid," I said and Octavia was agreeing to it all.

"Yeah it was stupid of you."

We make back to the camp, a burnt out fire and I kick the ashes, it burns part of my shoe, but I could have cared less, "that's what I get for trusting him."

"Bad decision," Octavia agrees completely, obviously pissed off with Bellamy for some big reason, "I could have told you it was a bad decision."

"Oh please you are not helping," I tell her off and a sleeping people try shushing us.

"Sorry," they shush me again and I head to the outskirts of the camp.

Octavia is still shadowing me as I try to find where they put Paul's busted butt. My leg was killing me from my little furious tantrum, and I knew that with my luck, Paul or Rebecca could creep up and take me down while I was still hurting. Damn them for making me paranoid. I couldn't help myself, it had saved me so many times before.

"Octavia please!" I whisper at her to get away from me, "Leave me alone. Why don't you go with your lover boy," I snap at her, but she doesn't seem scared, "you know the one you were making sex eyes with," she doesn't budge.

Instead she looks pissed, "I am not going anywhere."

I invade her personal bubble, "go, before I smash a knife over your head and shot an arrow through your socket." It's a horrible thing to say, but seeing Bellamy in bed with those girls, it brought back bad memories of when Kelvin was with Selena, but this was worse, so much worse, because I actually was in love with Bellamy, and now... I wasn't so sure.

The Old Cadet Bellamy, the New Earth Bellamy. They weren't the same person, obviously, but it felt like the same betrayal Kelvin had made so many years ago.

"What do you want from me Octavia," She doesn't back off, "I don't think you get how pissed I am," Octavia disagrees, still glaring at me.

I lean back at her ferocity, she is a tough cookie, "Leave me alone!"

"No, teach me some moves instead. Maybe then I won't have depend on anyone," she adds, "like you do."

"Now, why would I ever do that? Why would I train you?" I sit down on a stump, shivering in the morning chill. It saves me from worrying about hurting my leg anymore than it already is, "our history isn't so great remember. Usually us working together means I have to save your life while you forsake me to die of infection."

"Ugh, you are such a drama queen. Listen," Octavia flips her hair, it's long and straight, not like mine which from a distance looks like a big curly mane that gets into everything, thank god Jessica gave me her hair tie last night, "I know where those girls' tents are, and I know my brother like the back of my hand. I am pissed at him as much as you are," _I highly doubt that_ , I think, "and something tells me this can be the start of something beautiful," she puts her arms around my shoulder, keeping it there as I try to throw her off, and still, she gets to me.

We go to get my knifes and maybe some more meds.

"Sure, whatever, beats sitting around and moping," I say, giving up, "you distract Clarke while I get a few things." She doesn't look too happy about that, "I will teach you what I know, even how to take down your brother" I offer and her face brightens, "maybe I can teach you how to hunt so you are not almost dying when something attacks you," I try to tell her off.

This only excited her more, "This is going to be so much fun," she grins and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

I pull her crazy ass off, "As long as I get to kill something," I give up, "I am sure this will be fun."


	47. Chapter 47

**NIA POV**

 **Day 6- Midday**

Training Octavia was easy.

She was a good listener.

For three days I taught her what I knew, and in that time I had not hunted a damn thing.

I digress, the sixth day on Earth was still beautiful.

The sun's rays pierced through the rooftops of the trees and lathered the camp with life. Yesterday it had rained all day, and like me, everyone had stayed in the drop ship trying to sleep to the sounds of Jasper's screaming. It was really getting to some people. I was more bothered by people's lack of discipline when it came to meditating the screams out.

Bellamy had been minding his own buisness, and I my own.

He would stop me and ask me about my day, but that was as far as we would go.

"You still don't forgive me do you?"

"Not a chance."

"I didn't know they were there Nia-"

"Save it."

I appreciated the distance, whatever happened in that tent, I was not prepared to move past that yet.

Nevertheless, today it was delightfully sunny. So we were free to ditch camp and stretch our legs. Earth was really something when it wasn't trying to kill you. People were running around freely, playing on make-shift drums, and having all-sorts of fun. It was easy to get distracted, and so that was why I asked my sparing partner what was the problem with her, "Why are you not focusing Octavia?"

Octavia returned to our play-duel, she was getting better, "My brother punished Atom," she sees my look of confusion, and she expands, " he is my lover boy."

"Oh yeah," I wiggle my eyes at her. My meds have put me in a good mood, "I remember that one."

She nods, jabbing like I told her, "well, yeah after my brother locked up your friend," I frowned at the mention of Paul, "I heard them say that at least he wasn't strung up in a tree like Atom."

"Slater was never my friend," I disagree, ducking and landing a hit to her ribs. We paused again so she can catch her breath.

It gets me thinking about Slater, "They haven't let me pay him a visit, but it should be any day now. Bellamy seems lazy with giving Paul his death-sentence," I am curious, "Did he hang your lover-boy, Atom? Like," I stick my tongue out as I pretend to hang from an invisible rope nose. I wonder if he will do the same for Paul. I wonder if he will make it public.

Her eyes narrow, "No, he would never," she says upset at my accusation, "my brother would never do that. No, just some lesson so that he would never want to be with me," she grunted, "or kiss me, or-"

I know what she means, I laugh, "Like have sex with you? Bellamy doesn't let you?"

Octavia blushes deeply at my declaration and it is the first time I have seen her speechless.

"Why are you so vulgar Nia?"

"You're brother doesn't let you have sex with a good looking guy, and you think I'm vulgar," this poor girl, "Do you want me to be like Saint Clarke," I give her prayer hands, and Octavia cracks a smile.

She parries my bow, "careful Nia, she is going to hear you say that, and your not going to get any pain meds."

"I already took enough for a week," I brag, enjoying her surprise, "oh what? Are you going to tell on me? I would say you were distracting her while I stole them," I reveal that I had used her, "I will use that as my leverage, it would be my payback for the last time."

"Last time for what?"

I hit her leg and she yelps, "Last time you guys left me in the woods to die."

She sighs, rubbing her leg, "How many times do I have to say sorry?"

"As many times as it takes for me to believe you," I say to her, "so are you going to get upset with me, or are we going to raid Clarke's supplies again?"

She doesn't look upset, "you are sneaky!"

She said it like it was a bad thing, I tease her back, "Are you going to tell on me?"

"No," she decides and I am grateful, "I am not a snitch," she tells me, ducking as I make a mediocre jab where her head once was.

"But you have to remember Octavia, Bellamy's friends are not your friends," she needed to learn that right away, "one of Bellamy's puppets is willing to snitch on you," I say, "that is the only way Bellamy would have found out about you and your man."

"Well," Octavia stops and so do I, "he kind of-caught us."

My eyebrows raise, "He caught you guys _doing_ it?"

"Shut-up Nia," Octavia tries to cover my mouth, and I bit her palm.

"Ow."

"Don't put your hands on my mouth."

"Fine," we began sparring again, "and it was not like that. Atom wouldn't do that to me."

I scoff at her need to silence our private conversation, "Sorry I forget that some of us are still virgins."

I keep dodging her random blows, they have more fire now, Octavia snarls through her fight, "not everyone of us can sleep with random guys," she bites back, and I pull her arm behind her back, pulling up, but not in the least bit upset with her.

"You need to focus," I tell her, "we can talk, but you need to focus on where I am moving. Oh, and in the future, you should tell him how you feel."

"Atom?"

"No, your brother," I laugh when her mouth drops.

"Why would I tell Bellamy anything, that sounds like the complete opposite of what I should do."

"Tell him that you decide your own life," I tell her, feeling like it would be something that I would have done, "that you are a woman that has _needs_ just as much as he does. Just because we are woman doesn't mean that we have to be celibate," I tell her, honestly believing it, "if you want to be with someone, than do it."

It looks like she is thinking about it, "Yeah, like you decided to be with two guys at the same time?" The truth coming from her makes me less calm, "Bellamy said you were the type of girl to do with as many guys as you liked, probably at the same time-"

I punch her in her belly and she falls on her butt.

Octavia is gasping like a fish out of water but I make no move to help her up.

I had not expected to be so tough, but she distracted me, not an easy feat, "that," I say to her, "is not something you would understand. I think we need a break."

"I think _you_ need a break," she repeats, breathing slower, "You got distracted," she caught me.

I nudge my foot against her freshly battered belly and she winces but gives a victory hoot on the ground, "this round goes to me. I distracted you, and that was the first time I ever saw that."

Octavia couldn't be serious. I guess she was by the content look on her face, so I let her believe in her false victory.

"Here," I say and help her up.

She winces, holding onto where I hit her.

"That bad?"

"No," she says, refusing to let me see it, "was I bad? Did I do good today?"

I didn't have any bruises nor any injuries from our friendly spar so that meant, "Not that bad," I tell her and she looks at me with a look of pure elation.

"But you still have a long ways to go."

"I knew you were going to say that."

We headed back from the outskirts, being alone still has me on edge, and my nerves catch and begin watching Bellamy teach Murphy how to throw weapons. I was surprised to see Bellamy hit the tree with a hatchet, "you're brother practicing for something? Afraid someone is going to assassinate him?"

Octavia refused to pay any attention to him, "see if I care."

I could see Atom going over there, leading a pack of Bellamy's soldiers, and naturally my sparring partner's eyes followed, "if you are going to stare at him like a lost puppy why don't you go over there."

"I am not a lost puppy," she growled stalking off to the drop ship.

"No, but your still a pup!" Octavia shoulders tense, but she doesn't answer. I find it the funniest thing ever.

"Nia!" Bellamy is calling to me. _Now I am in trouble._

I keep myself professional as I come over to him.

We didn't leave on loving terms, but I wasn't going to act like a child in front of his men, "why are you with my sister?"

"She wanted some help," I say, looking over at Atom that looks interested in what I have to say, "all innocent, I promise."

It wasn't innocent when I was brainwashing Octavia to rebel against him, but Bellamy didn't need to know that.

"Continue," Bellamy says to his warriors in training, apparently they were talking.

Atom is the one to speak, "Bellamy, people are scared, and that dying kid," I noticed the sounds as Jasper, "he is not helping the moral around here," I thought nothing of it. _So what, he was in pain, cut him some slack._ I wondered if Octavia knew how cold-hearted her boy-toy was, and if it would even matter to her. I kept my opinions to myself and watched Bellamy take charge.

"Morale goes up when I find more food," was his answer.

"What about when they ask about Katrina and Pascal?" Those names were foreign to me.

"It's possible they are just lost," Bellamy catches my unease, "they have been missing for a while but they will turn up. I am sure of it. We will keep an eye out for them when we go hunting later. " He was right, one day was not enough to go crazy over some stragglers that probably just wanted their privacy.

"That sounds like a good plan to me," I approved Bellamy's decision and he didn't seem to mind, "I think getting food is the main priority. Good job Bellamy."

Someone scoffs, it's frog eyes Murphy, "So is she like your mother or something?"

"Excuse me," I said unprepared for Murphy's rude suggestion.

"I mean you treat her better than you do us," he pointed out, "do we have to kill a guy to get your approval before you come to us and explain things? I really want to know, because I don't know if I want to follow a guy that has to listen to his _mother_ ," he was so going to get it now, "whenever he has to make a tough call."

I should punch shit out of him, "That is none of your fucken buisness-"

"Nia," Bellamy stops me before I start ripping a new hole into Murphy.

I hate that he stopped me, but I can't show undisciplined behavior in front of his soldiers and he knows that. Despite my need to beat the living shit out of someone, right now was not the right time. It would mean death for us both if I lost my cool, "I do not play favorites," he says loud enough for everyone to hear, "Nia is my friend," he makes it clear and my heart flutters, "just like all of you," the feeling is gone now.

"We are going to hunt and then we will talk about this later. Nia and Murphy you both stay here and make sure Grounders don't attack. Murphy," he says, "make sure Paul Slater doesn't get anywhere near her," he says when all his guys are hiking forward.

"Before I go," Bellamy stays behind, trying to pacify me, "Nia, is there anything you need?"

"It's okay _friend_ ," I emphasize the word, "no one is attacking this place. I am going to go check on Octavia," I leave, not wanting him to see my eyes growing wet even when I try to fight it, "don't come and find me when you get back."

I don't turn around to see his or Murphy's reaction.

For all I cared, they were perfect for each other.

I was done mothering other people when all I wanted to do was mother my own child. Caleb was going to get a thousand kisses the next time I saw him.


	48. Chapter 48

**NIA POV**

 **Day 6- Poisonous Gas**

The Clarke Gang had gone ' _walk about'_ in search of red seaweed medicine, and Bellamy and his crew were still hunting whatever it is they were hunting, and that left me stuck with the babies, once again.

I had little say in the matter.

Instead Octavia was copying me with trying to learn how to sharpen knives, and Monty Greene was eyeing us both as if we were going to stab a defenseless Jasper. That just showed how much he knew. It was made apparent that I liked Greene the least of all, and if I was at liberty to say how I felt, I would have told him to be more worried about my knife stabbing his sorry neck.

"Wait, stop, you are doing it wrong. You have to always cut away from you," I say taking the knife from Octavia and showing her, "or else you are going to cut yourself. "

"Thanks mom," she says, taking it back, and rolling her eyes as I keep staring.

"I am just helping. Why does everyone call me a mother?"

She shrugs, "you act like it."

"I would rather be your big sister," I say casually, naturally I try to pick up any signs of trauma, her mother's death had affected Bellamy badly, but Octavia didn't show any upsetting signs. I guess I was looking to hard in places where there was no remorse left. With the more time I spent with Octavia, the more I saw how tough she really was. She wouldn't make a bad warrior when the time came.

Maybe we could go hunting.

While I went back to my place, the Delinquents began rushing into the drop ship, "wow, why is everyone coming in, what happened," I could hear from downstairs, "run, run, up the stairs, close the vents! All of them!"

"What is happening," Octavia asked me, "why is everyone running?"

Then it seemed like the whole 100 had run to the drop ship, and coughing people shut the vents of the landing ship before mysterious mustard looking gas came leaking in. My eyes bulged and I covered my mouth with my shirt. It must have been poisonous, and I wonder if it could eat through metal. We wouldn't last very long if it did.

"Everyone's skin started burning," a girl said rubbing her irritated skin.

Octavia turned to me, my fear growing with hers, "My brother's out there!"

"They are going to be okay," Monty says to us, calming everyone down, "everyone is going to be okay."

Octavia thunders at him, "You don't know that!"

"Stay calm," I try helping too, and turn to everyone and say loudly, "make sure to keep your shirt over your nose, or tie something around your mouth and nose. The gas can burn through metal and then we are all screwed," that doesn't seem to calm them down, "I am going to go check the landing floor."

"Nia wait! Bellamy could survive right?" I can hear the pain in Octavia's voice, and I don't want to hope about something and then…

"Listen Octavia," I grab her shoulders, rubbing them, "Clarke, Wells, and Finn are out there too, if they find each other than the odds go up," I say looking at Octavia with worried eyes. I didn't know what to believe, until I really thought it over, "where did they keep Paul?"

She was the wrong person to ask, I turn on Murphy.

"Where is Paul Slater?"

He shrugs like it is the least of his worries, "Who?"

"Slater," I hiss his name like it is obvious, for once hating that I had no idea where they put him, "did they bring him in? Did they save him?" I clutch my knife and go racing down the ladder, not ready for any of the possible outcomes.

"Nia wait!"

I search among the hunched down and scared faces, searching and searching, and regret only finding only a few of Bellamy's cronies and a very irritated looking Murphy that followed me down here. This morning I would have hoped he tripped on a log and got poisoned outside, but right now I need him, I needed to hear, "where did you put Slater?"

Murphy doesn't get my point, "What about him, why do you care?"

"Did you leave him outside?"

Murphy begins to understand what I mean and the obvious answer, "yeah I left him outside."

I can't help myself, "did you, did you tie him up? Did he have a prison around him? Could it take one person to free him," Murphy looked at his cronies, "he was tied up Nia," I winced and cursed underneath my breath. Octavia was beside me, her hand coming to my shoulder, but I had grown past the stage of pushing her away. All she wanted to do was help.

"Wow," was the Murphs reply, "I can't believe it! You did have feelings for him, my god, Bellamy will hear about this, and then he will know-" when did Murphy turn into a teenage girl.

A quick jab to his sorry face is what he gets, and that was when Bellamy's guys hold me back from unleashing my anger on Murphy. They created a barrier between me and the defenseless guy, "get over yourself Murphy! Bellamy is never going to trust you!"

Murphy is wiping the blood from his nose, "You bitch, make her bleed guys, make her pay," he commands them, and as I was struggling one of the other guys tried to take my knife but I brandished it and they took their own steps back. No one was taking my knife.

Murphy groaned as he tried to stand to his feet.

I didn't knock him out cold, but I wish I had, "The only feelings I have for that son of a bitch is hate," I say, and the silence is loud, "Rebecca Lee is not here, she didn't come in here, which means that she went to go free him, and they possibly got away. All because you didn't bring him in. You didn't watch him like Bellamy told you to," I said so everyone could hear, "You know what that means? That means if and when we get out of here, we have two deadly Guards that are going to do everything in their power to kill us."

"No, no, no," Murphy wipes the rest of the blood from his face, "only you bitch."

I can't believe him.

He mutters gladly, "only you. So don't blame us for not caring."

I can't give him any answer, too pissed and paranoid to think of anything but removing myself from the situation.

I went upstairs, farthest away from everyone, stuffed cloth in my ears, and went to sleep on the hard metal ground.

Octavia knew to leave me be.

I had fallen asleep even with Jasper's screaming, and in the lapse of what felt like only minutes.

"Nia, Nia wake up!" someone was shaking me awake, "Murphy is going to kill Jasper," that was enough for me to wake up.

"God I hate Murphy," I stumbled after them to lay my butt on the latch separating the floors from one another, and was almost knocked off from someone trying to push their way in.

"Don't let him in," Monty tells me.

"I won't," I lay my whole weight on the latch. Murphy was not going to come up here, even if he got through, I would kick him down the stairs, and give him a proper beating. He had no right to be doing this. Bellamy had given them a day for Jasper's life.

"Here put this, put this," Octavia and Monty pushed the metal bar into place so the door would not budge. I slumped off and gave a breath of relief, "I guess we should have done that first," was Monty's reply, "that should keep him down there, right?"

For a moment I noticed they were looking at me, "what?"

"Will this hold?"

"Even if it didn't guys," I say smiling at the sound of Murphy throwing a tantrum, "I would whoop his ass back down there myself."

"That's good to hear," Monty says sharing a grin with Octavia.

"Or he could kill me," I say seriously and they look like they are afraid beyond belief.

I smile at their faces, really laughing now, "All the stars above, you guys are just too easy to scare."

"Nia! This is so not funny!"


	49. Chapter 49

**NIA POV**

 **Day 6- Night**

Octavia wakes me again, "Everyone is going outside," but this time I am well rested so it is is not as difficult to get myself going.

I was about to follow her out, but I notice one person starting behind, Monty stays behind to keep watch over Jasper. Things have cooled down. We had a long talk about friendship and survival and I am not sure where that conversation went, but Monty Greene doesn't irritate me as much as he did before.

"Thanks Nia, for saving Jasper."

"He is your best friend." I knew Jasper was his special person.

"You didn't have to help."

"Yes, I did," I grinned at him, "Octavia would never forgive me for not helping," for some reason that scares me.

"I will tell Clarke what you did," Monty says, like that makes me a better person.

"Please don't," I start to climb down the stairs, "I'm the badass remember."

"Sure," he grins, looking at a sleeping Jasper.

Monty was a good guy.

For the others, Clarke and Wells, they were doing their own thing, and I hoped they had survived so far, even if I had no way of knowing what condition they were in now, or more importantly in what condition my Caleb was in on the Ark. Clarke's warning of the Ark killing it's own people for more time still swirled in my mind like a devilish poison. I hoped Doctor Griffin and Chancellor Jaha would keep their promise, even if I failed one or both of them. I could not be everywhere at once, and that is what I would tell them if I failed. A strong _If._

"I think I might need a massage," I say to Octavia after we both relieved ourselves outside and grabbed a piece of the stored jaguar meat, "how about you get your brother to give me one, and I make Atom give you one too," I say rubbing the nasty crink in my neck as we head across the camp. The cool night air follows us as we make it back to our stranded home.

She chuckles, "yeah like that would ever work."

"I don't know, Atom was staring at you before he left," I teased her, "maybe I can butter Bellamy up and we both can profit from it."

She laughs, pushing me.

We both take deep breaths of the forest night air, thankfully there is no mustard gas waiting for us, but that doesn't mean I will fall asleep in the open. There was still a high possibility of it creeping in when everyone is tucked fast asleep, and I couldn't risk sleeping under a glorious canopy at night, even if I wanted to.

"We could always hold sex over their heads."

Octavia is surprised at my offer, "What?"

"You know, tell them we want a massage and then…" I tilt my head to the side, "make it more obvious that is not the only thing we want."

"You are such a slut," she says and that immediately makes me regret sharing it with her. Even if there is no meanness in her voice, only surprise, there is curiosity in her voice, "Would that would work?"

"It could always be worth the try," I suggest, wiggling my eyebrows to make her even more horrified. It has the reverse effect.

"That sounds like a plan to me," Octavia must find it funny because she gives a little laugh surprising herself and the eavesdropping members of the 100 in the process.

One of Bellamy's whores must have heard us, jealous bitches, "God I hate them-did you heard what she said- she is so nasty," it didn't sound like they liked me very much.

Bellamy's girls had been giving me the stink eye since the morning I caught them in his bed, and I couldn't understand why? I was not sleeping with their stud, so what was the point? _Whatever._ They could die with my blade sticking out of their stink eye. _Who would care?_ Bellamy would I suppose, and no one would trust me, that was for certain, so I refrained from having any part with them.

I could bear them… as long as they didn't touch me.

Octavia was biting her lip, refusing to meet my eyes, and her body facing the dark woods.

I could see it, the longing, "You missed him."

She leans against the tree with me, "Of course, I like Atom."

"No, not him," I say, "you missed Bellamy."

"He is my brother Nia, of course I miss him."

I shake my head at her tone, "You say it like it is a bad thing."

"They are back, they are back!" says the lookout.

We both look up as Bellamy and Wells come over the edges of the Camp, and when they reach us Octavia can't contain herself, "it is about time. They were going to kill Jasper, did you get the medicine," Clarke says yes, but all her movements are wrong. It doesn't look like her or Wells are hurt, so that is a relief for me.

 _Still,_ something is wrong.

"You guys okay," I can't help but say.

"We are fine," Clarke repeats again, but I never trusted her.

Octavia must notice this too because she goes to Bellamy who holds her back, looking guilty as fuck, "just go back Octavia," he tells her holding her arms.

Octavia fought him to see the whole group, of course she would, "Bellamy stop."

She gets through, her eyes searching, "Wait where is Atom?"

There are no answers, and I watch with growing horror at the stretcher they had been carrying, and that is in fact not from the hunt. The animal's body is laid out on a stretcher, a sheet over it, not bloody enough, almost like a… _oh no._ Octavia pulls the blanket away revealing a bloody and motionless Atom.

Something cold runs down my back.

Bellamy is the one to go to her, he was the only one that could, "There was nothing I could do."

"Don't!" Octavia's face looks even more horrified than mine, she puts the blanket back, and goes off.

I try to stop her, before she does something she might regret, "don't touch me Nia," she says and goes off into the drop ship. It would be useless going after her now. We might have been friends a moment ago, but nothing I say will change what happened to her man.

Bellamy begins asking questions to his warriors, "Lose anyone here?"

"Two, Rebecca Lee and Paul Slater," says one of his soldiers.

Bellamy's eyes caught mine, but he didn't comment on it. Thank the stars. I was not even sure if they were alive or dead. It didn't matter anyways. I would have been worried anyways if I was him.

"How is Jasper?"

"Still breathing," Murphy always found his way to Bellamy, the little weasel, "we were going to take him out but your psycho girlfriend and sister-" I was not surprised to hear his little tantrum had not gone away.

What had surprised me most was Bellamy's reaction. It was like he was unleashed, "MY WHAT?! MY WHAT?!" He was a raging fighter ready to throw down with everyone watching.

Murphy shirt was in Bellamy's fists, but his answer was calm and slow, "your girlfriend."

Bellamy egged him on, "and?"

You could slice the tension with a butter knife. It was as if we were at Cadet practice and someone had just called for a death-match. At least here there were no rules, no Guards, or no Chancellor to Float you if you succeeded. I didn't know if that was a good thing, but it would help us if things got out of control. People didn't follow a weasel, they followed a King.

"Your little sister," Murphy said the magic words.

"That's right my little sister, is there anything else you want to say about her?"

I couldn't even think right now. It was like a whole other part of Bellamy had come back from the hunt… and I liked it. This unhinged and emotional person was the one I had expected from the moment that they had taken his mother, and instead of me disagreeing with his aggressive display, I enjoyed it. He was ten times as sexy as he was at the masquerade party, and even if there was tons of people watching, I imagined going down on him. They were right. Nasty. I liked it like that.

I had to force myself not to bite my lip.

"Nothing," was Murphy's final reply, the little weasel added, "sorry."

Bellamy released him, and he smartly stepped away from the enraged King.

I had no pity for the weasel.

I could see Murphy for what he was, a social-climber and selfish asshole. He was ten times as more dangerous as Paul because I had to trust that he wouldn't stab me in broad daylight, or attack Bellamy when I was too far to protect him. Trust was hard with the eyes Murphy was giving Bellamy. It would seem I had made another enemy today.

My inner predator watched and it was difficult to un-see the way Murphy threw his knife hitting a tree dead-center. I wondered who taught him that. We were going to have to watch him from now on.

"Hey," I stopped staring at Murphy, while Bellamy addressed, "what happened today?"

Bellamy had finished giving orders and now it was my turn, I did not like the tone he had with me, like I had done wrong something wrong, "what do you mean Bellamy?"

"You know exactly what I mean," he was still upset, his grinding teeth were loud enough for me to hear, "What happened to Paul and Rebecca?"

"I had nothing to do with it. I can tell you, but," I nudged my head toward the drop ship, and we walked that way, "Murphy forgot to bring in Paul Slater, and I am guessing Rebecca capitalized and got him before the yellow mustard gas attacked them."

"Yellow mustard gas?"

"I just started calling it that, unless you have a better name?"

"No," he rubbed his hair, sighing deeply, "are you sure they got away?"

"No," I say, leaning against the drop ship. He leaned it against me, distracting me once again, "but I have this bad feeling Bellamy."

"Me too," Bellamy sighed, laying his head back, and leaning toward the door. He looked like he had just come back from the war.

I had to know, had to know what happened, "what happened out there?"

"I don't' want to talk about it," he tapped the drop ship behind us, thinking, "so which one of us is going to talk to Octavia."

That was easy, "you know Bellamy, when it comes to siblings," I lift my hand in the air, "I can talk for hours to her and it is still you she wants to get answers from."

That throws him off, so much like his little sister, not understand the bond they shared, "How could you possibly know that?"

"I knew you right? Give me the benefit of the doubt," I tease him, he needs someone to tease him, not threaten, not make fun, just see him for who he was, "There isn't anyone Octavia trust more than you. That is something you should use, but please don't take advantage of it. Your sister is kinda growing on me," Bellamy doesn't look very happy about that.

"Hey Nia, you still know me," he corrects me.

"No, I don't. It's not it used to be," I was done with him skipping around the truth, and my deliberate mind that allowed him to do so, "this is different."

"How is this different?"

"It just is Bellamy," I say to him and shove him towards the drop ship, "go on, she is waiting for you."

There was always one truth to Bellamy, that Octavia would always be his main priority, no matter who came into his life, and I had come to accept it, more than I would ever have done on the 100.

"We aren't finished with this conversation," he tells me before entering the drop ship.

One way or another he was right, "Not in a million years."


End file.
